What Not To Say

[Enid]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSeccXFgBus

 

[LaFemme]

Excellent video. How many times (even on this board) have I heard men say women can fight back. They just know sooooo many women who can take down a man. So, sexual assault? Well, it probably doesn't happen as much as women think it does. Just one of the comments I've heard.

#rapedbutneverreported

 

[Enid]

"If they rape again, it's on you" just kills me. Please. STOP. Victim. Blaming.

 

[Bardox]

So don't ask probative questions about the event, don't ask if anything was ever done about it, blindly accept the statement as fact, and offer to perform a service of some kind.

Is this an all encompassing rule or are there requirements one must meet before this protocol is to be enacted? I only ask because this is the path Sabrina Rubin Erdely took and it bit her in the ass.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Excellent video. How many times (even on this board) have I heard men say women can fight back. They just know sooooo many women who can take down a man. So, sexual assault? Well, it probably doesn't happen as much as women think it does. Just one of the comments I've heard.

#rapedbutneverreported

After past experience, I would NEVER report a rape. The system was worse than the event. No thanks. I'd also like to think I'd fight back, but if I can't win and it's just making it hurt, I know I'd lie still and ask him to stop, just like I did before. Of course, if I know him personally, as I did before, I'd tell anyone who'll listen about it to keep away from him, and why. But press charges? Absolutely not.

 

[ActionBuddy]

So many friends of mine, (women, gay men, and transgendered folk), have decided to not press charges against their abusers because they fear further abuse by the police and the courts, and even severe disapproval from their own families... It's a sickening state of affairs, but, then again, perhaps the smart thing to do for self preservation... :-(

A/B

 

[ClawdineKitten]

It's such a sad state of things. No matter what anyone who was a victim of rape gets the shit end of the stick. Either they get victim blamed, harassed, police just laugh it off like it's your fault. And the famous "It was what that were wearing." tagline.... shit pisses me the fuck off.

 

[693987]

I never reported it either.. I didn't think people would believe me, given that I had been in, and still was in a relationship with the person at the time.

 

[EllieP]

When my daughter was in college a classmate was assaulted. The school was behind her and the district attorney got the message - do something or suffer the wrath. The guy was arrested, tried, found guilty and is serving time. Neither life will be the same, but at least she is healing.

I was so afraid that this would go the usual way of the "young, promiscuous college girl" asking for it. Anyone who knew this girl knew this wasn't the story at all.

I'm so sorry for those of you who have experienced something like that and felt hopeless. My heart is really heavy when I read that.

 

[Kingkiro]

When my daughter was in college a classmate was assaulted. The school was behind her and the district attorney got the message - do something or suffer the wrath. The guy was arrested, tried, found guilty and is serving time. Neither life will be the same, but at least she is healing.

I was so afraid that this would go the usual way of the "young, promiscuous college girl" asking for it. Anyone who knew this girl knew this wasn't the story at all.

I'm so sorry for those of you who have experienced something like that and felt hopeless. My heart is really heavy when I read that.

If it's a case of real rape, then that's should be looked into and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

However there're way to many cases today that happens when hanging out that should not count, it's just the society we live in today. Everyone wants to have a good time without consequences, yet want to hold others responsible for their irresponsibility. Examples are being way to high or drunk to know what you did last night and such, many times everyone is just as drunk or high.

In those situations no one should be held accountable for what happened. People willingly go into these situations knowing the consequences, so there should be no reason to blame others for what happened.

Again it's a case where it rape forcefully done and everyone involved knew what they were doing and not fucked up drunk or high, that's wrong and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Opposite to that is if everyone involved were out of it from being too high or drunk, no one should be penalized for that. Both men and women end up doing pretty dumb things while they're intoxicated, but no one caused that on them, and from the start they wanted to have a good time that's why they got high in the first place. I can't tell you how many times I've heard men say they want to get drunk to have fun or women say they do it so they don't have to worry about the consequences or they can't blame themselves for what happened or an easy way to hook up. So that's what they do in the end...