What's your sexist, naughtiest, filthiest text or call you've recieved???

dave2006

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I got a text from this girl that read:

"I just shaved want to cum over"

I didn't even respond. I was in her pussy within 10 minutes of recieving her text. I love technology and coed dorms!
 

WhiteZombie

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I knew this real asshole guy back in high school. He was one of those compulsive liar, stab you in the back kinda guys. One day me and my best bud were chillin' and said asshole's girl sent me a text asking if I wanted to fuck the next morning. Payback's a bitch.
 

lucky8

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this girl, who had seen my dick several times, called me up drunk one night and said "hey, i just had sex and it wasn't very good. wanna come finish me off?"
 

pussyfan

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Don't know about naughty or filthy, but maybe this will do. Just rekindled an old flame not long ago. Received this after our first night together again:

I would love for you to be here again tonight, letting me experience all of the incredible sexual skill you possess. It amazes and thrills me that I have now been able to make love with both the boy and the man in my lifetime.

As I kiss your sweet lips, and hug you close to my heart, my hands begin to explore your body in excited reacquaintance; every curve and muscle becomes familiar again. A long and leisurely exploration, not done in the haste of youth or lack of time, but as two mature lovers who want to savor each moment. We enter a world unto ourselves, just as we did as teenagers so long ago. Nothing exists but us, exchanging kiss for kiss, touch for touch. Every action brings us to another level of sensation and anticipation. I remember the strength and softness in your hands, the tenderness and passion in each of your kisses. No one ever kissed me the way you do. No one ever could. Your kisses are perfection. My tongue plays gently at first, my lips becoming more demanding; wanting you to have all of the pleasure that I am able to give you. Your mouth was made for mine. My exploration moves to your chest, broad and expansive, with circular strokes and kisses. I look into your eyes, darkened with passion and hold the moment. I kiss and lick your nipples, making you squirm against my sheets, before moving lower.

I love to lie between your strong legs, slowly licking your big, hard, perfect, beautiful cock as you lay back, your eyes fixed on my lips. I listen with mounting excitement to your soft moans. You give just a slight rise of your hips to meet my lips as they kiss your cock with all the passion in my heart. I love kissing it, I can kiss it for hours on end. I love looking into your gorgeous, bright blue eyes and watching your expressions as I kiss your magnificent cock; it heightens my awareness of the power I have over you. My passion grows, as your cock arches upward into my warm mouth, my lips giving you soft kisses up and down its length.

My pussy is hot and wet and aching with desire for you. I take your hand and place it between my thighs. I beg you to touch me and give me pleasure with your fingers, as only you know how. I gasp as they stroke my clit and slide deep into my tight pussy. No one has ever touched me or made me feel the way you do. I know you love the soft, pink perfection of my pussy. I know you love that it is now smooth as silk, with no hair to encumber your caresses.

I bury my face into the lovely, shaven skin of your balls, soft as satin. I cover them with kisses and long, luxurious licks. I take them into my mouth and suck them ever so gently, making you sigh. I hold your cheeks in my hands and lift your hips so my tongue and lips can find your delicious asshole. I kiss it and lick it and probe it with my tongue, making your hips thrust against me. I linger there, I love the way you taste and feel against my lips. I move upward and my tongue moves in slow circles around the head of your cock. My hand encircles the base, as I take your cock into my mouth, slowly beginning our rhythmic dance. God, I love the way your cock feels in my mouth. Your hips thrust in response as I take your cock deep into my throat. The tip of my tongue runs up and down your veins, where I can feel your blood pulsating. Your moans become more frequent, your muscles tighten, your breathing becomes faster until I taste the hot cum as it explodes from you. It fills my eager mouth and I let it flow over and around my tongue for several moments before I swallow it greedily, hungrily. I love its rich thickness and salty taste. I lick the last few drops from the head of your cock and enjoy the sensation as they slide slowly down my throat. I softly caress your still throbbing cock and cover it once again with gentle kisses and licks. It is so beautiful, I cannot take my eyes or lips or hands away. Then you are still, until one small movement of my tongue on the head of your cock brings a quick jerk of your hips and a loud breath of ecstasy from your lips. I love this time, when I know I have brought you such pleasure.

But I will not let you rest. I straddle your face with my hips and slowly lower my hot, dripping pussy onto your waiting lips. No one can ever make me cum the way you do. You own me. You own my pussy. What you do to me with your lips and tongue is indescribable. I cum in wave after wave of unbelievable orgasms as I fuck your wonderful tongue and you lick and suck my clit.

I move down and spread my legs wide across your hips. I totally envelop your amazing cock in the moist heat of my pussy. As I look deeply into your eyes, your hands gently holding my breasts, the intimacy between us is overwhelming. We are locked perfectly together. As my mouth seeks yours once more, and our tongues dance together, the passion overtakes us. You guide my hips with gentle strength. I feel the heat and hard, throbbing power of your cock inside my pussy and I am overcome with my need for you. I give in to my own pleasure as waves of orgasms overtake me once again and I cry out in absolute joy. As you cum, you hold my hips firmly onto yours, thrusting hard and fast, savoring each last moment. As we relax, I lay on your shoulder in amazement and utter contentment, softly kissing your neck.
 

B_ScaredLittleBoy

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I deleted it and don't fully remember it but it was thus:

"The reason I need you to fuck me is cos my rabbit doesn't do it for me. I need to feel you kissing me and I love feeling your big hard cock pressing against me when you kiss me, it gets me soo wet."

The original was sexier and I don't think that's very accurate but there you go. It was a text btw.
 

cb1737

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Wife send me this after she comes home from a waxing appt.

Hey, I just got my hairs reaped out, come reap my pussy out now

couldn't do it, had to work
 

AlphaMale

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Yeah I get them all the time... how I look strong and or how I look good in bed, or how she wants to me 'cuddle, etc.' with her in bed cause I'm nice and huggy irl. That's from the girls who have never seen me naked before.

==

PSA don't let your EX's take nude photos of you. :tongue:

I still get calls from my EX's along the lines of what lucky8 said. Also, they seem to like to show their girlfriends at work and/or their single friends.

So I also get these random texts every now and then that go something like:

"Hey I'm so and so's friend... I know you don't know me, but I've seen your pics and I must say wow... I would let you do anything to me as long as you wanted to do it to me!"

==

Although flattering, I'm not about to hook up with someone I've never seen or talked to. :tongue:

One of them was hilarious cause the girl was going on and on about how my dick, "Looked like a baby's arm holding an apple!!" LOL
 

spitreaper

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I just got this from my girl today:

"I want you to get me super drunk tonight and take advantage of me"

i asked her about it today while her best friend was sitting on the back seat and they started talking when they get drunk they want their boyfriends to take advantage of them. Anyways her friends boyfriend just broke up with her like a hour before and now were planning a drunk threesome tonight :)!!
 

TheRealStumpy1

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My favorite text of all time came from a female I was talking too that moved to California. After she moved, she texted ",...make sure you take care of my dick..."
 
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not a text but email:

i love you. I wanna feel you inside of me again. All eight inches. I still
remember that day. You were holding me and you told me my skin felt so soft. You dont know what id give to live that over again. I love you

Ugh. I keep thinking about that night and i keep imagining how it would be if we did it all over again. Maybe id show something next time to make the process quicker. :) haha. And i keep wondering why we did it on the living room floor. I had a room with a lock and everything! I guess i couldnt wait. If i see you again i really dont think i could hold back. I want to kiss you so bad. A real kiss though. And thats not the only place my mouth wants to be...Ive pictured my lips all over your body.. This is so bad. I shouldnt be thinking this.

couple of the best emails ive ever gotten.
 

haha12345

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i've gotten quite a few of these

my fav. r the ones that include a pic of wht the girl is describing\

i.e oo bby im so wet i need you cock this vibrator isnt enuf/ a a pic with a vibrator fucking her

// gets me hard everytime
 

jdoe86

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I used to get dirty phone calls from this woman at my work a number of years back. She'd call right before I was closing and tell me all of the dirty nasty things she wanted me to do to her. This went on for a few months; she meet me one time.