Why do guys always

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ORCABOMBER: [quote author=Max link=board=women;num=1069029803;start=0#14 date=11/18/03 at 13:52:15]Orca,

I hope that isn't your final answer! Anger, like everything else, can be dealt with.
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Yes, it can, in fact I'm extremely controlled (Lord knows, I sometimes feel like I want to hump or hit everyone), but I'm the nicest person you'd know if we'd met. I just don't react to attacks well. I mean, I'm logically, so if they have a reason to, then fine, I wouldn't argue if I was being a dickwad or anything, that's stupid. Fungit, whatever, I'll be fine and the woman I'll be with will be fine, but that scream over the horizon was not a shout of anger!
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I do commend your wisdom Max, I mean it, cheers.
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Tender, well, maybe some guys think like that, some don't. Personally, I'm a little bit of both in friendships, it's a bit of give and take anyway, but I like to be a help, and that suits me fine.

This is not a bad discussion y'know.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

I tend to think this sounds like a control trip for both sides. Most of the women I've dated never like a power trip by any of the men, but then again, they don't necessarily like a man who can't be assertive.

It sound like he came from a family where the men rule the roost, and he intended to keep up the practice.

Lots of relationships need to have both sides in equal power, no controlling trips for either. This only lowers their self worth. Split the difference! God knows I wouldn't want it to be one-sided for either side.

 

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ORCABOMBER: Yo Massive, I know what you mean, clearly. My relationship history is shorter than this sentance, but my friendships have to be a little bit of give and take as well, I think it's harder for dominant people- the leaders, managers, people with strong careers or team leader aspirations to actually share sometimes, I've had lots of experience that given a chance to take control, a lot of people run with it at the cost of the people "underneath" them.

It's why I'm pretty passive, I mean, I don't take orders, I don't give orders, I give suggestions and take hints.

 

[Max]

[quote author=ORCABOMBER link=board=women;num=1069029803;start=20#22 date=12/08/03 at 00:43:30]Yo Massive, I know what you mean, clearly. My relationship history is shorter than this sentance, but my friendships have to be a little bit of give and take as well, I think it's harder for dominant people- the leaders, managers, people with strong careers or team leader aspirations to actually share sometimes, I've had lots of experience that given a chance to take control, a lot of people run with it at the cost of the people "underneath" them. [/quote]

Orca .. if your relationships last as long as that sentence you won't be doing too badly.

 

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ORCABOMBER: Cheers mate.

 

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jerkin4-10: well...ahem...speaking from my 25 years of married experience...i think its all in the way you set up the dynamic in your relationship...my wife and i have our areas of especiality...for example...when we moved to phoenix 5 years ago..we were torn between 2 homes... a home in an area that was on the upswing...and property values were in the process of significant upswing...and a home that needed some improvements, but that was in consideration and the sellers were going to rebate us $30k to remodel this 2000 ft fixer...my idea was to do the remodel to the same specs of a home that had just sold across the street for $80k higher...and make $50k in 6 mos...she wanted the home in the already supernice established neighborhood...the the remodel was done and we could live in for a while...we thrashed about for a while...and we decided that, that was her department and she made the final decision...so we bought the remodeled home...on the other hand...when shes ready for a new car...i get the basic info on what she wants...and i go and buy it for her...hand her the keys and she never utters a word about it...except how happy she is...so...i guess you have to divy up the responsibilities...play to each others strengths...and enjoy the support that you get from your partner...or it will drive you crazy thinking 'someone is telling me what to do'...unless they need to work on their delivery of course...

 

[Pecker]

Excellent, jerkin, excellent!

Looks like you'll make it to the Golden anniversary and beyond!

 

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wvalady1968: Yeah, Jerkin, you all seem to have achieved a balance that works well for you. Congratulations.

 

[Anon]

I read a few posts and yeah it all has to do with comprise.

Think of this, a girl always wants a romantic situation with a guy. You know, romeo/juliet styles. prince charming riding on his horse, picking up his fair lady in a sea of flowers where they make passionate love then he blows a big wad right on her face. there's the comprise

p.s. now i KNOW that didn't help

 

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Tender: hmm. sounds like juliet is sport to him... ?

would the King mind to put his wad ,,,
right in her mouth, or is that not as 'romanitic' ? lol!

Tender

PS Jerkin, be glad you didnt have to do the remodel thing... its not worth it... probably you and the Mrs would have fought over 'this or that' and staying too busy,,, well, they say if your marriage can survive a remodel you are set in stone ! lol, i think i beleive it, just not sure yet if we have survived, still sorting through the scraps lol!

 

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jerkin4-10: tender...been through the remodel thing in this home by now as well...i dont bitch...i lived in a pink...er excuse me...dusty rose house for 8 years...but she doesnt bitch with i come home with a new guitar either...

 

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gicast: [quote author=Tender link=board=women;num=1069029803;start=0#17 date=11/19/03 at 08:18:52]


i would note there is a difference between controlling, and simply being the head of his home.


now, for the rest of my answer,,,,

it is for the same reason they put diapers on backwards, fry eggs in 2 inches of grease, and mix up the entire box of fast patch at one time... (oh if you know anything about that stuff it sets up like ROCK in 10 minuets lol)
might have something to do with the way they always are late because they had to wash the car, and forget your birthday, and cant remember his own kids middle name... need i go on?!  
BOYS! cant live with them cant live without them!
well it could perhaps have to do with the way he mows the yard in half the time it takes me, can fix thingies in the house, or your car. and he always brings flowers or chocolates to say hes sorry he forgot your birthday. no he cant match the girls clothes or fix their hair, but they scream for DADDY! when he comes home in the evening.... play horsie!! and guitars and such....
maybe its the testosterone? but then my SB doesnt have any!!   (er were working on that...  :-/)  
maybe a pride thing?
an ego thing?
maybe just the way God made us all different?
or the difference between men and women?
:-/
Tender



[/quote]

yes!! You nailed it~!!! ;D Have you ever considered writing a book? Your observations are priceless!!!

 

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gicast: oh yeah, I know what you mean about the remodel thing....We bought a fixer-upper. It took a year to complete before we could move in. He was gone all the time. I was stuck at home with a baby. It was extremely hard. I resented him for being gone (while making our future home beautiful- what a _itch I was!) Anyway, hang in there! It's worth it and it will get better!!!