Then you need to find a new bf if it is important to you. I would actually ask if he is really gay, then why can't he bottom?
My hubby and I both find both topping and bottoming enjoyable. Not everyone does. I have a few friends who are total tops who tell us how jealous they are that they can't get pleasure from bottoming.
I like to say that I am too greedy to do it only one way. Heh.
Both my (completely platonic) roommate and I are non-versatile tops. We're both as gay as it gets in as much as we restrict our sexual activity to men. He likes them younger, I prefer guys in their 30s and 40s. My roommate was married for much of his 20s, only coming out gradually and eventually divorcing his wife. I came out as a teenaged virgin and did not have sex until I was 17, with a man of course. Neither of us is in any way effeminate or swish, though we don't have any problem with guys who are.
My first three years of sexual exploration were not the most pleasant time in my life. I, like hud01 quoted above, felt that part of being gay involved learning to enjoy being penetrated, and I gave it the real college try. But inevitably I found myself deeply uncomfortable with it: I hated the loss of control I felt and was very uneasy with feeling as though I were about to simultaneously piss and shit involuntarily (as the top's penis would be opening up my anus and pushing against my bladder). Penetration was also extremely painful to me because I couldn't relax. I felt like a sexual failure because I hated bottoming so much.
But I found that things were completely different when I was able to top, though being so young I rarely had the chance. The entire dynamic of sex would change for me: no pain, no unease, just pleasure.
When I discussed this with guys who wanted to top me (or had just finished), I was given a variety of reasons of my displeasure (none of it his specific fault, of course), but they all seemed to center around my inability to relax and think positively about it. Several suggested that I was being willful in just wanting to deny him his satisfaction (including someone with whom I had an 8-month relationship: my first).
But when I discussed this same issue with bottoms, I got a completely different story. Why push myself into a direction where I found no pleasure when I was pretty good at doing what I enjoyed? If sex were really about mutual pleasure, then why not just focus on the guys who'd find pleasure in what I could offer them? Why make life so difficult?
My learning curve in figuring out how to qualify potential sex partners was really steep until I was in my mid-20s. Most of the time, my inability or unwillingness to bottom meant that sex was mainly an oral/JO thing for me, as I seemed to attract many more tops than bottoms. I developed mad oral skills as a way of compensating for what I was made to feel was a lacking on my part, and more than once would just get up and leave if the guy wasn't satisfied with what I was willing to offer. My fuckbud circle consisted exclusively of bottoms, but I kept things really casual with them for a variety of reasons (emotional and/or intellectual incompatibility, mostly).
It was during this time, long after I'd come out, that I explored my bisexual side with two different women. For any number of reasons, they didn't work out though one of them remained a close confidant and friend for many years afterward.
It wasn't until my third relationship, when I was 25, that I formed a real attachment with a versatile bottom. After that things got easier and I never again went through trying to make something work with a guy who wanted to fuck me.
These days things are very different. At least where I am (in SoFla), tops are in a genuine minority and are considered "highly prized", so the pressure I felt as a young adult (in Boston in the late 70s-early 80s) to try and "open the flower" is non-existent.
I'm one of the tops Lex mentioned in the quote above, as we've discussed it during his visits here on vacation. Part of me would love to experience the flip side of the intimacy I feel when fucking. But neither my mind nor my body will cooperate.
So I play on my strengths and avoid my weaknesses.