- azda,
My worst week was when a good friend of mine died from illness. She was 18. The last few weeks before she died I was filled with anger and hate towards her because she was lying to and misleading me; she thought she was doing me a favor by sparing me things I didn't want to know but was quite wrong. To call my behavior shameful would be far too kind. A week before she died we spent an afternoon in a room arguing and fighting for hours, trying to come to an understanding. We made promises to be honest with each other (promises she broke several times) and treat each other better. It was horrible and may have been the worst I had ever behaved in my life up to that point, but worse was yet to come. The day before she collapsed and was taken to the hospital I was asked to feel her forehead and it was very, very hot (probably 104, and possibly higher) and my first good and automatic response was to think, "Yikes! Her forehead is on fire." Then my anger took over and I think my exact thought was, "Let the bitch suffer." My response to it wouldn't have mattered either way because the infection was already in her and she died three days later, but it's still there and I know what I thought. We were traveling and every single person in our group had been sick (except me, at least not physically that is), she had already seen a doctor and was on antibiotics at the time I think, and when you're 19 you just don't think in terms of your friends dying. She was fit and exercised regularly.
So on top of the death of one of the greatest individuals I will ever know I have to add the worst behavior I ever exhibited in my life. I never had a chance to make things right with her. She died at the low point of our relationship. Devastating.
So on top of the death of one of the greatest individuals I will ever know I have to add the worst behavior I ever exhibited in my life. I never had a chance to make things right with her. She died at the low point of our relationship. Devastating.
