Would I change society?

[dolf250]

I was surprised to read the insightful replies to the other thread. http://www.lpsg.org/et-cetera-et-cetera/42102-would-i-choose-to-gay.html

The premise of that thread was that I figured that most gay men would, AFTER a few years of living as a gay male, chose to remain who they are. I recognize that during adolescence most men would “take the magic pill.” But that goes for straight men as well. I would have happily taken a magic pill to fit in and not be a loner... but thankfully I was never given that option. I came to the conclusion that most people would not change who they are or the experiences they had because, upon reflection, I would not change how I grew up. Seems like a strange reason, but there it is.

I noticed a wide range of reasons and responses. I was honestly expecting most to be like Buddy629's; deciding that getting through the tough part was a growth experience. (in case you want to read it it is post #25 in the link above.) In many cases I was mistaken and I decided to start another thread on the same sort of lines, only twisting the question around to reflect what I think I noticed in the other thread.

So the question is this: Would you have changed society's reaction to your orientation. I know that to answer “no” may be seen as wanting the status quo to continue and have homosexuals remain as a group that can be hated and discriminated against- but that is not the question. I do not want to know if you want society to change now; of course you do; even if it prevented a few suicides it would be worth it. What I want to know is would you have given society the “magic pill”when you were growing up. “coming out” would not be an issue as you would not need to. Your friends and family would be guaranteed to accept you. You would not have spent one day “in the closet” as it would be more of a sin to repress who you are. There would have been none of the hardships and none of the stress- no feeling as though you did not fit in, and you would never have felt pressure to hide who you were. Would you be a different person- would it be worth it?

Most of you who have been on this board for awhile have heard me say that I was quite homophobic when I was younger. So I will phrase the question this way. Would you have given me (and the rest of society) “the magic pill” now that you have had a few years to reflect on your experience “coming out?”

 

[fortiesfun]

Would you have given me (and the rest of society) “the magic pill” now that you have had a few years to reflect on your experience “coming out?”

So fast that it would make your head spin. I don't think my character got strengthened from the experience of being an outsider, it just resulted in wasted years while I built up the courage to face the consequences of coming out.

 

[DC_DEEP]

<...>
Most of you who have been on this board for awhile have heard me say that I was quite homophobic when I was younger. So I will phrase the question this way. Would you have given me (and the rest of society) &#8220;the magic pill&#8221; now that you have had a few years to reflect on your experience &#8220;coming out?&#8221;

Good topic, D. Let me preface my answers by saying that I never would have thought of you as needing "the pill." Never once have I seen you post anything that would lead me to believe that you held the kind of bigoted views that would require "the pill." That being said, yes, I would have given the magic pill to society at large, then or now or tomorrow.

While we are wishing, though, your several topics in this subject area led me to some other interesting "what if" questions.

Instead of the "magic tolerance pill", it would be interesting to cast a spell that would make bigots live for a year in the life of one of their targets. Not a secret life kind of existence (a la Ted Haggard), but a true one, where they had to endure the hatred they themselves have been dishing out all their lives. The KKK Grand Wizard spending a year as a Gay Jewish Negro. Phred Felps and Jerry Foulwell and James Dobson in a sordid gay 3-way for a year. Millions of straight couples told that they are not allowed to marry, just because I said so. Straight partners of terminally ill patients told that they don't have any legal rights regarding their loved ones...

 

[Matthew]

My answer is also yes, but I LOVE DC's idea:

Instead of the "magic tolerance pill", it would be interesting to cast a spell that would make bigots live for a year in the life of one of their targets. Not a secret life kind of existence (a la Ted Haggard), but a true one, where they had to endure the hatred they themselves have been dishing out all their lives. The KKK Grand Wizard spending a year as a Gay Jewish Negro. Phred Felps and Jerry Foulwell and James Dobson in a sordid gay 3-way for a year. Millions of straight couples told that they are not allowed to marry, just because I said so. Straight partners of terminally ill patients told that they don't have any legal rights regarding their loved ones...

 

[madame_zora]

Good topic, D. Let me preface my answers by saying that I never would have thought of you as needing "the pill." Never once have I seen you post anything that would lead me to believe that you held the kind of bigoted views that would require "the pill." That being said, yes, I would have given the magic pill to society at large, then or now or tomorrow.

While we are wishing, though, your several topics in this subject area led me to some other interesting "what if" questions.

Instead of the "magic tolerance pill", it would be interesting to cast a spell that would make bigots live for a year in the life of one of their targets. Not a secret life kind of existence (a la Ted Haggard), but a true one, where they had to endure the hatred they themselves have been dishing out all their lives. The KKK Grand Wizard spending a year as a Gay Jewish Negro. Phred Felps and Jerry Foulwell and James Dobson in a sordid gay 3-way for a year. Millions of straight couples told that they are not allowed to marry, just because I said so. Straight partners of terminally ill patients told that they don't have any legal rights regarding their loved ones...

When you phrase it like that, the question answers itself.

If EVERY TIME people would really put themselves in their brother's shoes, we'd be over this insideous disease of judgement much sooner. By placating people's fear-based reactions, we allow them the perception that they might be "right". They're not. They need to be belittled, laughed at and shunned when they say such stupid things. It has to be made to be ridiculous, just like using the N word is now ridiculous. Bigots can't be given ANY credibility, because weak human nature dictates that they'll take even the smallest encouragement and ruin all of society with it.

All the issues are the same. People who prefer to maintain the "status quo" in any arena are most often the bigots themselves. There's no way to justify a position of not giving equal rights to our brothers without being a bigoted asshole.

Try being a woman, it's not all that different. I support gay rights so fully because I understand what it feels like in the barrel.

 

[BIGBULL29]

I'd like to say that all people suffer in the world. To believe that only certain groups of people suffer is the biggest illusion under which we all live.

A white rich heterosexual Protestant man in America could have much more pain than a homeless man spat upon every day of his life.

Humans see surfaces first and foremost.

That doesn't mean one should not fight for social justice, or to ignore the plights of the poor and other marginalized groups in society.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

This has nothing at all to do with my sexual orientation (though by some counts I'm still sexually deviant)... but I actually enjoy standing out. I do sometimes wish I had better social skills or that I didn't always intimidate people (sometimes this is useful, other times it is a huge bother), but in general I like being different.
There are certain ways I would change society if I could, including making everyone more accepting of and open minded toward different sexual orientations and different points of view on a variety of things. This would probably make me somewhat less unique, but I think that's a small thing to give up for the benefit of living in a better world.

 

[DC_DEEP]

This has nothing at all to do with my sexual orientation (though by some counts I'm still sexually deviant)... but I actually enjoy standing out. I do sometimes wish I had better social skills or that I didn't always intimidate people (sometimes this is useful, other times it is a huge bother), but in general I like being different.
There are certain ways I would change society if I could, including making everyone more accepting of and open minded toward different sexual orientations and different points of view on a variety of things. This would probably make me somewhat less unique, but I think that's a small thing to give up for the benefit of living in a better world.

We spent a little time together, and our respective orientations just did not seem to figure into the equation... but we are not society at large. Do I wish more of the straights were like you? Hell yeah.

 

[coveryerteeth]

There's a great scene in the movie Kinsey, where Liam Neeson portrays the zoologist that conducted the first large-scale human sexuality study, in which they're collecting their interviews in a Chicago gay bar. They interview this young guy who's from some part of rural America and he says, "I don't mind being queer, so much. I just wish other people weren't so put out by it."

To which Kinsey replies, "It hasn't always been this way. Homosexuality just happens to be out of fashion, at the moment." I think that's a very insightful commentary on the issue. If people bothered to learn more about the history of mankind and how we arrived at the way things are today, they'd see how senseless this aculturated discrimination is that some numbskulls so often refer to as "the way things have always been."

If it were within my power I would have also changed our society when I was a teenager and first realized that this was all something I'd have to deal with, someday. As I would, today. It could have only changed my life for the better. Coming out wasn't as harrowing an experience for me, as it can be. All the contributing factors that forged the practical sensibilities and strength of character that helped me take it in such stride have origins that aren't in anyway related to my sexuality. Would I be a different person, if I'd grown up in a more perfect world? I'd bet I'd be a less gaurded and generally happier person, but still basically me.

The only admirable character trait that I can attribute as the product of my struggle to accept my sexuality is my open-mindedness and willingness to celebrate people for their differences instead of vilifying them. But, if we'd been raised in a world where everyone else had those qualities, we wouldn't have to endure painful personal trials in order to acquire them. We could learn them from emulating the behavior of others, just like we learned to hate.

Monkey see; monkey do.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

great post, cruisin.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Society has changed alot but there is still alot more of change to take place. Unfortantly i dont think homophobia will ever not exsist but people are finally learning how to react better to gay's and realise they dont ALL carry aids and disease, worship the devil, seduce young boys or have permiscus sex in public

And even though i have no idea what its like to grow up gay id imagine it is hard to come out but it seems to make alot of gay men and women stronger in what they are and what they stand for.. And i dont know if it is worth giving up those 'hard' lessons and experiences and take the easy road.

And no homophobic people shouldnt be given a pill to change their thinking, thats is covering the problem...They should be educated and mix with ALL genders and different orientatios to see they too are normal.