The fear of female sexuality

[Ethyl]

While discussing this with a fellow poster it dawned on me that while much of the population from this site is considerably more open-minded than most, unrestrained female sexuality still seems to be viewed with much trepidation by the general public. We're encouraged to be sexual creatures but within certain boundaries set by religion, social mores and media. Historically speaking almost all restrictions on sexual behaviour were imposed on women and the supposed link between female sexuality and evil are well known. Take your pick: inquisition, Salem witch trials and the "witches' teat", fundamental Islam and Christianity...and so forth.

We are freer to communicate our sexuality now but I think we still have a long way to go. Are we still beholden to ancient taboos? Are we still not vocal enough about what we want? Are we being ignored?

I wonder how much this fear factors into the sexual habits of women and men.

Thoughts?

 

[286798]

I apologize if I am not great at articulating my curiosity.

If women share in being sexually intrigued by a stranger's physical features, it seems hypocritical to fault men for doing it.

I am bewildered that sexual desire based solely on physical features is considered rapey.

Here's the difference a'la LPSG

Woman sees attractive man and feels a flutter in her bits, and thinks "WOW he's pretty hot"

Dude sees an attractive woman and thinks "i want to wreck all her holes, choke her and cum in her eyeball"

 

[Scarletbegonia]

@Sagittarius84 wrote:
Both at their core are an underlying fear of death...obviously violence has it consequences...but for the vast majority of hominid history ridicule/ostracism was a veritable death sentence by both active or passive means.

That is equating embarrassment and violence against women.
I’ve had a similar point in every relationship I’ve had with a man, a point where his ego gets bruised and it is so frightening to him.
I empathize, but I ask that it be put in proportion with reality.
Getting laughed at was something everyone learned to deal with in school, or with friends.
Now it’s the basis for a mass shooting. Snowflake fragility.

Let’s say Frank is laughed at in class for a blunder. He misspoke or misremembered a fact. Nothing major just some giggling.
Joe, Frank’s friend, goes home and his uncle is there, and does inappropriate things to him. Statistics on molestation and sexual abuse say that it’s likely this is ongoing. Opportunity and all.
Which boy had a greater damage done to him?

You want to know how casually men insult women? Ride a city bus with young men, in a group.
They will comment on women (and girls...they will sexualize preteens) negatively tastes any opportunity. They will make weight comments about women who are standing near a restaurant, women who just got off the bus, women just going about their lives not caring about their gaze.
Not only do they comment on looks, they also make crass comments. How they’d “do them” even though they have the audacity to not look like models. In crass language, so there is no question what they mean.
This was in “enlightened” Berkeley. But I’ve heard similar in Los Angeles, Portland, Denver, Columbia, SC, all across Texas, London, Brighton, Germans on a BA flight.

But have a woman call them out, and it’s war. The first thing after shut up is “I’ll hit you, bitch” or “suck my dick.”
They will move toward you, attempting to threaten (solo or in a group).
Words became violence in a second.
When a man calls them out, they move away, grumbling, with a “fuck you” tossed over the shoulder.

 

[DiamondJoe]

What the hell are you talking about?

Inside, as in:

I see a woman who, for whatever reason, I think is really attractive.

I then think to myself...

Wow, she's ungodly hot, it would be cool if we could play together.

Simply doing that is rapey?

Ok, let's run through a few things quickly.

1/ the language is reductive and objectifies
2/ it makes a superficial, somewhat crude judgement on a person who is reduced to, or even just part of them is reduced to something for your delectation and gratification
3/ it excuses this kind of behaviour by perpetuating the lie that this is "just how men are"

Men need to be better educated about and respectful towards women. It's not so hard. If you were the father of a daughter of dating age, you might think very differently about how men discuss women.

Just try thinking with something other than your penis and try to see the whole person.

It's more likely to end in amazing sex. I should know, I've had plenty!

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Stopping in to say, I appreciate the replies Sagittarius got in the thread he started in AASM which he started as a "piggyback" to this thread.

I can't post there, so I'm throwing some props to the fellas who replied with common sense and gave me a kernel of hope for our species.

 

[MickeyLee]

For the badass bitches who once made LPSG home.

 

[MickeyLee]

To the badass bitches who keep it going strong!

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Honest question:

Do straight women never assess the effect the aesthetics of a male humans physical body has on the level of their immediate libido?

Never referred to a man as a piece of meat, or said "look at the shitter on that critter" or anything remotely similar to some of the vile shit I've heard come out of men's mouths. Sometimes about me when they thought I couldn't hear them.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Addressing groupthink/echo chambers widely, I’d say that the Net itself breeds such faster than physical spaces.
Start with the name of this forum. Large Penis Support Group.
Well, that’s going to draw people who have some interest in penises. Some have an avid dislike for possessors of vaginas.
Then it made the rounds of sites like Cracked.
So you get people interested in humor in many forms. Some with little interest in penises.

Groupthink is the way of the Net, and my experiences are that the ladies here do the best we can to limit that. We do have a lot of common ground, and that’s where we gather.
Some choose to congregate together.

Some “women” on the site aren’t. This, too, is the Way of the Net.
Some are sex workers trawling for clients. (Same with some men. See the OnlyFans sludge.)

It is a chance to be a different “you.” (I, a cis woman, interact with more humans on the Net than I ever could in real life. My physicality isn’t in the way here. Typing doesn’t stutter or lisp, unless you make it do so, shyness is easier overcome.)
You can try being a better you (wow, wouldn’t that be cool?), buuuttttt.....Way of the Net.

What you won’t get from the women is HiveMind. Watch the small differences that make each poster unique. See where we have some back and forth (not the poster, the discussion) about how a situation is different for each of us. See where the hot buttons are.
Some women care about size, and they have random hook ups, or did. Some are with their high school sweetheart. Some have had very few male partners. Some, many.
Most are clear that size of the peen is secondary to the size of the mind, the metaphorical heart, their compassion, humor....you know the drill.

We might be busy as bees, but we have no queen, size or otherwise.

 

[DiamondJoe]

I apologize if I am not great at articulating my curiosity.

If women share in being sexually intrigued by a stranger's physical features, it seems hypocritical to fault men for doing it.

I am bewildered that sexual desire based solely on physical features is considered rapey.

Fair enough. And, just to be clear, I'm not suggesting you are rapist...

I'm making an important point about male language and mindset towards women.

Bottom line, you're not a woman. You haven't had a lifetime of experiences like being whistled at, told you've got a nice arse/rack, randomly chatted up by men you aren't in the least bit interested in. That's kinda on what we might euphemistically term the "softer end" of male behaviour. Look at the underlying stats and it's depressing; every 10 minutes, somewhere in the world, an adolescent girl dies as a result of violence. Nearly one in five girls is sexually abused at least once in her life. In the United States, 18 percent of girls report that by age 17 they have been victims of a sexual assault or abuse at the hands of another adolescent. That's nearly 1 in 5. That's quite a lot.

So with these general conditions - and you might reasonably say, "I'm not like that!" - we must look at the way men think, what they say and why they think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. There is a loooong history of men using, abusing, owning women and there is a collective memory of that dominance.

It is often considered fair game for men to pass comment on a woman's looks or discuss who you'd like to fuck. It's an early building block in a train of thought that reduces women to their body parts or sex organs and says That is not really a person, that is something I want.

It's all on a spectrum, not a healthy one, and a spectrum that doesn't view women as equals or partner but as things.

So begin at the beginning and challenge that kind of behaviour and language when you see it in your friends, co-workers, whoever. It's wrong.

 

[286798]

That's a very extreme, violent, demeaning and, I would hope, rare version of intrigue.

Is there no distinction between that, and a Billy Madison-esque "So hot, want to touch the heiny?"

I think @DiamondJoe nailed it when he described men's desire for some THING they want vs some ONE they want.

No one is saying men shouldn't be sexually attracted to women or women shouldn't be sexually attracted to men... or that there is a difference between the desire. The difference is how men act about it... even if its just thoughts in his head... that's deemed acceptable by society. It is rare that a woman would catcall a man. It's not polite... but for a guy it's totally fine. Boys being boys. That snowballs. Like DJ described. Its not cool.

Your previous posts allude that a man does not have the right to even contemplate what they want with her.

When he contemplates her as an OBJECT to put his dick in, and not as a PERSON with her own right to autonomy, no... i don't think he has that right.

 

[6026411]

That's a very extreme, violent, demeaning and, I would hope, rare version of intrigue.

Is there no distinction between that, and a Billy Madison-esque "So hot, want to touch the heiny?"

Read some of the fiction forum, starting with "Chet, Destroyer of Pussies" (or something like that) and you'll see there are a lot of men on here who at least fantasize about disrespectful and violent sexual encounters with women. This attitude seems to be much more prevalent on this forum than others I've perused, and I'd have to wonder if it's related to an underlying idea that men with big cocks are entitled to get whatever they want from women.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Fuckin eyeroll..

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

In my new, limited, and recent experience here, I would say it all depends on which side of the fence you're standing. Just as with any other place, echo chambers are abound. Cliques form mainly to reaffirm ones own beliefs, such is the nature of groupthink.

As far as women may appear to have come, this is still a patriarchal, male dominated society whereby the ruling group sets the standards for what they deem acceptable at any given time. It ain't ok til they say it's ok and then it's, "damn you! how dare you not agree with this or that moral stance!"

As welcoming as it may seem, to someone who's identity/personality has been considered "appropriate", this site is predominantly male and gay male. Therefore the gaze and overall themes of the site are seen through the perspective of gay male interests. Of course, in the interest of "acceptance", they'll allow the existence of outright and blatant female sexuality... etched out in a small corner. Which is absolutely fine, it's part of what makes the nation great. However, it would be interesting to find out if there are equivalent places out there in size and popularity that are primarily accommodating to women and particularly gay women.

**These are just my thoughts and opinions, not meant to offend anyone or instigate a negative response. Please and thank you.

Hey now, don't assume that because you got called out a tad in the Random Thoughts thread in this section that you aren't welcome.

Groupthink isn't happening here, believe it or not. Every woman here has had a disagreement with me at one point or another. We've gained respect from one another for being able to discuss those moments without becoming hostile. Has it happened a time or two and ended in a flounce of epic or not so epic proportions? Sure. 9 times out of 10 if I have a disagreement with one of these women it can be resolved without a flounce/flame war.

I have a feeling that one of two things is happening here. Either you've been lurking for awhile and think you know more than you do about this community, or you're as new as your sign up date indicates and you're making lots of assumptions based on very little information.

 

[DiamondJoe]

Read some of the fiction forum, starting with "Chet, Destroyer of Pussies" (or something like that) and you'll see there are a lot of men on here who at least fantasize about disrespectful and violent sexual encounters with women. This attitude seems to be much more prevalent on this forum than others I've perused, and I'd have to wonder if it's related to an underlying idea that men with big cocks are entitled to get whatever they want from women.

Yep, and let's not forget the role that porn has in shaping expectation and fantasy.

 

[6inchcock]

Stopping in to say, I appreciate the replies Sagittarius got in the thread he started in AASM which he started as a "piggyback" to this thread.

I can't post there, so I'm throwing some props to the fellas who replied with common sense and gave me a kernel of hope for our species.

Fuck Loyd or Mini-Loyd or whatever the fuck the elderly overgrown Incel calls themselves this week. Clearly wisdom does not come with age. He pretty much fucked it for the rest of us dirty old bastards.

Almost forgot to acknowledge my place of worship

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

Again, I have never said otherwise.

Your previous posts allude that a man does not have the right to even contemplate what they want with her.

No one can monitor another persons thoughts, only that person can. What one can do is ponder that thought and wonder if it’s a healthy thought. Sure, I’ll be the first to admit if I see an attractive woman, I’ll get ‘sinful’ thoughts. Purely physical, as that is all I know about her. That’s the primal part of being a human male. That garbage part. The more advanced parts of my noodle reel that back in and tell the ape part of my brain to fuck off and stop thinking like a giant silverback gorilla, thats a person, not an object to ogle and violate and fuck. Thankfully, that process is rather quick, and I’m much better off for it. My self-creep alarm is swift. I’m no saint, nor am I a genius, but I try and hopefully succeed most of the time in not being an objectifying creeper.

In other words, we all have not so pure thoughts, it’s what you do with them when arrive at your brains door that makes a big difference.

 

[HorseHung40's]

I would agree with the statement made by the original poster.

There is still an unspoken message in the USA about appropriate sexual behaviour, with the most latitude given to straight, white men.

As we deviate from that by gender, sexuality, race... the rules change. There is also no national standard by which I mean that some areas of the country are more liberal than others.

Although we have come a long way, we have a long way to go.

 

[MickeyLee]

I'm perfectly okay with men being fearful of my sexuality. It's proof that a survival instinct still exists.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I reconsidered, what can I say. If fear of women's sexuality didnt inherently encompass mens thoughts and opinions it'd be an issue you could possibly address and solve without our input.

I don't need it to be solved, I could not give a fuck less if you or any man fears my sexuality.

You should reconsider you reconsideration.