Advice wanted

[mitchymo]

Okay so i'm 30 in a few months.....this lad i work with is 17 in a few months, he has told me he is bi-curious and really likes me.....what should i do?....would it be wrong to get involved with him, i feel really weird about it but i find him very attractive. I have always been very fickle about age preferring guys within 4 years either way of my age....this lad is 13 years difference. Is there any advice?

 

[Mem]

It's illegal in the US until the person is 18.

If it is legal where you are go for it, teach the kid a thing or two and have fun.

 

[jeff black]

See, my issue comes from the under 18 thing.

Can he not wait until he's 18?

 

[mitchymo]

It's illegal in the US until the person is 18.

If it is legal where you are go for it, teach the kid a thing or two and have fun.

It was illegal here in the uk too until several years ago, now that the age limit for gay sex was lowered to be in line with straight sex.....its just weird to know that an act which is legal here would have me sentenced to jail elsewhere

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

I have a problem with not only his age but you work together. It could make for a bad situation for you. This kid could come back to bite you for life.
"I was only 17, he said If I didn't he'd get me fired, I didn't want too but he forced me, I was raped."
What is that old saying, Don't sh*t where you eat.

 

[mitchymo]

See, my issue comes from the under 18 thing.

Can he not wait until he's 18?

he wants to join the army and says he wants to experience as much as he can before he goes in case his life is cut short

 

[DaveyR]

See, my issue comes from the under 18 thing.

Can he not wait until he's 18?

The age of consent in the UK is 16 regardless of sexual orientation. See here. Why would waiting until age 18 make a difference to your thoughts on this?

 

[lpsg17]

I think the work thing is most important. I mean it could turn bad especailly with him being so young. Find the lad another job and then, what the hell, show him the ropes!

 

[mitchymo]

I have a problem with not only his age but you work together. It could make for a bad situation for you. This kid could come back to bite you for life.
"I was only 17, he said If I didn't he'd get me fired, I didn't want too but he forced me, I was raped."
What is that old saying, Don't sh*t where you eat.

yeah but its not like that....he is leaving soon anyway and we are equals at work....its not like i can be seen to have bullied him and no-one would believe it if he did 'bite me' cos my character is held in high regard.....i wouldnt bully....my workmates know me well cos we are part of a small team just over a dozen of us.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

Mitchy you certainly find yourself in some situations. This time I say go for it but realize this kid is young and might just want to have that experience w/you and may not want to do anything further. Just look at it as a fun experience as also what could you poss. have in common w/a 17 yr old. Pretend y'r Anne Bancrofy and he's Dustin Hoffman. lol.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

The age of consent in the UK is 16 regardless of sexual orientation. See here. Why would waiting until age 18 make a difference to your thoughts on this?

Because a 16 or 17 year old is not emotionally mature enough to handle a lot of lifes situations.

 

[mitchymo]

The age of consent in the UK is 16 regardless of sexual orientation. See here. Why would waiting until age 18 make a difference to your thoughts on this?

Well said.....my primary concern is about the age difference not whether he is jail bait or not....he is legal age so not concerned so much about that

 

[jeff black]

The age of consent in the UK is 16 regardless of sexual orientation. See here. Why would waiting until age 18 make a difference to your thoughts on this?

I actually didn't remember that.

If the Uk folk are ok with 16 year olds fooling around with older gentlemen, then by all means, enjoy yourself.

To the OP, if the desire is purely a sexual thing, and you guys are just going to mess around and experiment, than enjoy yourself. However, be aware that there is a possibility he may become attached to you.

Nothing wrong with that, but just be prepared it might be more than just sex to him.

 

[mitchymo]

Because a 16 or year old is not emotionally mature enough to handle a lot of lifes situations.

This lad is very mature....a wannabe soldier, he has had more life experiences than i have, i'm not joking.....he is mature enough you have to trust me on that......perhaps i should of used made-up ages to begin with and said i was 35 and he 22 for eg.

 

[Mem]

The age of consent in the UK is 16 regardless of sexual orientation. See here. Why would waiting until age 18 make a difference to your thoughts on this?

So if an American wants to have sex with a 16 year old they have to go to the UK?

And if a 30 y.o. guy from the UK comes to New York with his 16 year old partner they can be arrested if they have sex?

 

[mitchymo]

I actually didn't remember that.

If the Uk folk are ok with 16 year olds fooling around with older gentlemen, then by all means, enjoy yourself.

To the OP, if the desire is purely a sexual thing, and you guys are just going to mess around and experiment, than enjoy yourself. However, be aware that there is a possibility he may become attached to you.

Nothing wrong with that, but just be prepared it might be more than just sex to him.

Sounds like great advice....thank you

 

[mitchymo]

Mitchy you certainly find yourself in some situations. This time I say go for it but realize this kid is young and might just want to have that experience w/you and may not want to do anything further. Just look at it as a fun experience as also what could you poss. have in common w/a 17 yr old. Pretend y'r Anne Bancrofy and he's Dustin Hoffman. lol.

you make a good point....i mean i need to think about what i am happy with i guess.....in honesty i cannot see me having a proper relationship with someone his age....on the other hand i know of two other relationships around me with age-gaps that wide.....i dunno....so uncertain about it, perhaps i should just see what happens and cross bridges as i come to them

 

[DaveyR]

Because a 16 or year old is not emotionally mature enough to handle a lot of lifes situations.

Some are and some aren't. The law of the Country where you reside is the important thing in this situation. The OP asked for advice on the legalities.

Well said.....my primary concern is about the age difference not whether he is jail bait or not....he is legal age so not concerned so much about that

The age difference thing should only be a concern if you are thinking about this being a long term relationship which I doubt from your posts. If he is willing and you are then what is the problem?

I'll share something here. When I was 21(The gay age on consent then was 21 in the UK) I hooked up with a guy in his early 40's. I was looking for nothing else but good sex, as was he, and that was what I got. A relationship would not have worked and we both knew that. There was no issue and I class it as part of the learning curve which has made me who I am today.

Respect, comfort and expectations are the issues here Mitchy so just remember that.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

DaveyR the OP's original post was not about the legalities of it. He was asking for advice in general. Also, there is a large difference in maturity between a 17 year old, and a 21 year old.

 

[mitchymo]

Some are and some aren't. The law of the Country where you reside is the important thing in this situation. The OP asked for advice on the legalities.



The age difference thing should only be a concern if you are thinking about this being a long term relationship which I doubt from your posts. If he is willing and you are then what is the problem?

I'll share something here. When I was 21(The gay age on consent then was 21 in the UK) I hooked up with a guy in his early 40's. I was looking for nothing else but good sex, as was he, and that was what I got. A relationship would not have worked and we both knew that. There was no issue and I class it as part of the learning curve which has made me who I am today.

Respect, comfort and expectations are the issues here Mitchy so just remember that.

Another good piece of advice, thank you.