Contraception?

[peterkay]

What are you using and has it always worked?

My wife prankned me tonight saying she was pregnant turns out she had a feeling she was and did a test which was negative.

We have to young boys and love them to bits but honestly couldn't handle any more plus there would be space issues moving to a bigger house etc.

So as you can imagine I shit myself for a minute! Had to see the clear blue myself before I could relax. She's been taking the pill which seems to be working fine, it worked fine for 2 years until we tried for a family but even if it failed back then, at least we wanted kids eventually anyway so it wouldn't have been as big of a deal whereas now a third child would not be ideal (as much as I'd love to have lots if practically possible)

So what are my options? My wife doesn't like the sound of a coil/implant, and I don't even know how effective they are.

Neither of us want to be using condoms, as it does kind of kill the moment plus I end up going limp while putting it on.

Pulling out seems boring. Iv suggested trying anal, but realistically I dont think she likes the sound of it.

Could get a vasectomy but what if I need my balls again? I'm actually scared to continue having sex in case the pill lets us down now

 

[918177]

I opt for vasectomy!
I can help if you like because being helpful is good manners....
Stay there, I'll be right back!

*starts rummaging around in the cutlery draw for a bread and butter knife*

 

[Betty_Cocker]

what do you mean "what if I need my balls again?" are you young and think if you were to re-marry you may want more children?
From what I understand, you could have a reversible vasectomy (I've heard of men here getting them.)

If you really don't want anymore children, and fear the risk of accident or failed contraception, then I'd strongly suggest you or she do something to insure it doesn't occur.
My husband and I have one child. I waited five years before having a tubal. I was 30. I was young, but I knew even if something happened and I ended up with someone else, I would not want to birth another child. It was a joint decision but MY choice for the tubal.

If you don't want anymore children, make sure you don't end up in a situation where you have to choose what to do if pregnancy occurs.

 

[AlteredEgo]

What are you using and has it always worked?

My wife prankned me tonight saying she was pregnant turns out she had a feeling she was and did a test which was negative.

We have to young boys and love them to bits but honestly couldn't handle any more plus there would be space issues moving to a bigger house etc.

So as you can imagine I shit myself for a minute! Had to see the clear blue myself before I could relax. She's been taking the pill which seems to be working fine, it worked fine for 2 years until we tried for a family but even if it failed back then, at least we wanted kids eventually anyway so it wouldn't have been as big of a deal whereas now a third child would not be ideal (as much as I'd love to have lots if practically possible)

So what are my options? My wife doesn't like the sound of a coil/implant, and I don't even know how effective they are.

Neither of us want to be using condoms, as it does kind of kill the moment plus I end up going limp while putting it on.

Pulling out seems boring. Iv suggested trying anal, but realistically I dont think she likes the sound of it.

Could get a vasectomy but what if I need my balls again? I'm actually scared to continue having sex in case the pill lets us down now

Get a vasectomy. They are reversable. They are actually significantly more reasonable than oral contraceptive and IUD, and more effective than other forms of birth control.

 

[918177]

Paper scissors?

 

[Holly Doors]

What are you using and has it always worked?

My wife prankned me tonight saying she was pregnant turns out she had a feeling she was and did a test which was negative.

We have to young boys and love them to bits but honestly couldn't handle any more plus there would be space issues moving to a bigger house etc.

So as you can imagine I shit myself for a minute! Had to see the clear blue myself before I could relax. She's been taking the pill which seems to be working fine, it worked fine for 2 years until we tried for a family but even if it failed back then, at least we wanted kids eventually anyway so it wouldn't have been as big of a deal whereas now a third child would not be ideal (as much as I'd love to have lots if practically possible)

So what are my options? My wife doesn't like the sound of a coil/implant, and I don't even know how effective they are.

Neither of us want to be using condoms, as it does kind of kill the moment plus I end up going limp while putting it on.

Pulling out seems boring. Iv suggested trying anal, but realistically I dont think she likes the sound of it.

Could get a vasectomy but what if I need my balls again? I'm actually scared to continue having sex in case the pill lets us down

What are you using and has it always worked?

My wife prankned me tonight saying she was pregnant turns out she had a feeling she was and did a test which was negative.

We have to young boys and love them to bits but honestly couldn't handle any more plus there would be space issues moving to a bigger house etc.

So as you can imagine I shit myself for a minute! Had to see the clear blue myself before I could relax. She's been taking the pill which seems to be working fine, it worked fine for 2 years until we tried for a family but even if it failed back then, at least we wanted kids eventually anyway so it wouldn't have been as big of a deal whereas now a third child would not be ideal (as much as I'd love to have lots if practically possible)

So what are my options? My wife doesn't like the sound of a coil/implant, and I don't even know how effective they are.

Neither of us want to be using condoms, as it does kind of kill the moment plus I end up going limp while putting it on.

Pulling out seems boring. Iv suggested trying anal, but realistically I dont think she likes the sound of it.

Could get a vasectomy but what if I need my balls again? I'm actually scared to continue having sex in case the pill lets us down now

Hiya hunni, I'm also here in the UK.
I've used the contraceptive injection now for a few years, mine and my husband's last child was kinda unplanned as a result of a broken condom. The injection lasts for 13 weeks and is over 99% reliable, it can have various side effects with some women but I get on with it pretty well. It's stopped my periods completely which for me is actually convenient and a plus, on the downside it's made me more susceptible to weight gain which may put some women off.
All in all it works very well for us and I don't have to worry about taking the pill, condoms breaking etc etc.

As you mentioned about vasectomy's I believe it's worth you looking into it if you were to consider having the procedure, as @AlteredEgo pointed out the procedure can be reversed however I think you'll find that here in the UK, if you have a vasectomy done by the health service they will tell you that they won't reverse it in the future. I don't know whether that's because the procedure they use is irreversible or simply because they won't fund a vasectomy reversal on the NHS but still have the option of having it reversed privately? You'd need to look into it sweetie X

 

[EllieP]

I had a tubal when I was 24 after a long drawn out fight with old guard doctors who had issues with retiring a fertile cow.

It has been quite effective, and I would hope to heaven it's not reversible because UPS is the only one delivering anything in my house.

 

[MickeyLee]

Your wife's body has been carrying the burden of contraception for the entire relationship, get a vasectomy. You will be taking responsibility for your family's reproductive future.

I went tubal. I have a conception/pregnancy phobia. The idea of being pregnant horrifies me, to the point of panic attacks and nausea. I went through great effort to asure I would never need to deal with the hormone hell of BC or an unwanted pregnancy.

 

[693987]

I used the pill for a while. I was monogamous and fluid bonded with an ex, so I got an IUD. It punctured and passed through the wall of my uterus and migrating out into my abdominal cavity. I'm fortunate that it didn't puncture any other organs. I had to have an abdominal surgery to get it removed. I have health issues that no longer allow me to use a variety of medications, including birth control methods that have hormones. My sweetie of years, we use condoms. Is it my favorite thing? No. It means I'm not putting myself at risk of a stroke, when I'm already more likely to have one, though. I also refuse to get an IUD again.

Ideally he and I will probably both get sterilized, eventually. Less than zero desire to "raise a family" or anything of the sort.

As for not knowing effectiveness of the various options for birth control, you could always, oh, I don't know, go to an appointment with your wife to discuss contraceptive options with her doctor.

As for just having anal sex, a lot of women don't get that much from anal. Go figure, she's not stoked about you getting yours and her probably not getting hers. Pulling out isn't that reliable and you would both need to be super proactive about figuring out her hormone cycle too, which since you apparently can't be bothered to research contraceptive options in the first place... Yeah, I doubt that will work.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Mirena IUD, on my second and will definitely go for a third.
I’m perimenopausal, and have no desire for a change of life kiddo.

Given the restrictions you list, I’d suggest a vasectomy with sperm collection prior.
That gives you your peace of mind, and her, too.

 

[Enid]

i used condoms for years and then used a diaphragm for my last couple of relationships when we wanted to go condom free

i would never want to do hormonal BC, but im 47 now and celibate several years so i am not worried.

you need to consider a vasectomy

look into it, it's sometimes reversible if you change your mind (depends on individual, and time since having the vasectomy)

hormonal BC for women can suck the big time

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Snip snip

 

[AlteredEgo]

Question. Do you even know what a vasectomy is?

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I had a lot of female issues so getting a hysterectomy at 31 was the option I took. My female gynecologist didn't even argue. I had already given birth and told her if I wanted more I'd have more by now.