Could i be bored of sex with a little penis?

[tiger61]

Hi All!!
My friend Tiger 61 let me use this to post my question and concern. Or maybe just to air my frustration. So I thank him for letting me do this because it would be very embarrasing to my boyfriend if it got out I am doing this. So how to begin?

Well, I will just get it right out in the open....my BF has a smaller penis. I don't really deal with inches, as that is more for you guys to brag on I think. But I have talked with Tiger 61 about this, and he has the same problem. Or maybe condition, I don't know. Since I had "relations" with him back several years ago I knew I could talk with him about it. He said to come on here and just let everyone know it is me and not him.....Tiger who is asking these questions. Sorry I know I am rambling. I do that when I get nervous

OK, my BF has a small penis. Now I have had larger penis before. Back in college a few years ago. Most of the guys I have been with are probably average, if I had to guess about 6 inches. So about the average. Now one guy I dated for a short while in college was much longer. He was hard to give a blowjob to because of his length. But I must admit that the size turned me on. The problem was the sex. He could maybe fit a little over half of it in or it really hurt. I must admit that when we were in positions that I could see him thrusting that it was a real turn on to see a really long penis go in and out of me, but the hassels and dealing with the pain just wasn't work it. Plus he was a jerk about it so it was good we didn't last very long as a couple.

Another boyfriend I had in college also had a larger penis. His wasn't nearly as long, even though it was a bit longer than the guys I view as average. What made him special was the thickness. He was also very patient, unlike the other well endowed guy. But once we got going the fullness I felt really brought me to many orgasms. By far the best sex I have ever had.

I met my current BF shortly after college. We hit it off. I didn't think much at first about him having a smaller dick because we hit it off in every other area. And I didn't want to seem shallow and end it just because of his penis size. I thought women who do that were really horrible. That is why I feel so bad about what I am telling all of you.

He is a fabulous BF. Very successful business wise, we have lots of money and take lots of trips. I have a very nice car that he bought me with cash and he is well thought of at work and in our community. Don't get me wrong, he is actually a very good lover. He is very attentive to my needs and gives me more oral sex than I could ever need. But when he puts his penis in me I am less than enthused. More and more I find myself closing my eyes and touching myself during sex and fantasizing about a guy with a large dick.

Perhaps I should just buy one of those large dildos and perhaps that will do the job. I am afraid of what he would say if he where to find it.

I could probably go on and on but I know that would bore all of you. Tiger 61 says there are some really great people on here who have probably been in this position and can give good advice. So I guess that is what I am asking. What advice would you give. And if you are a hater or someone like that and cannot say nice things or give good advice, then please go somewhere else to hate. I just don't need it please.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

What is the question?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Perhaps I should just buy one of those large dildos and perhaps that will do the job. I am afraid of what he would say if he where to find it.

What he says about your toy is irrelevant. It's yours, and masturbation is personal and natural. What you say in response is another matter. You can be honest diplomatically. You can make it impersonal. "Variety is the spice of life. Would you like to use it on me?" You can also lie, which would definitely be impersonal. "Variety is the spice of life. If your looked like this, I'd have bought a toy that looked more like yours! Would you like to use it on me?"

 

[Exbiker]

Hmm.

I'm not quite sure I understand this correctly.

But, basically ... I'll try ...

Irrespective of the size of your/his own penis, I think most gay men have an "acceptable range" for their partner, and may or may not adjust how they have oral / anal sex on the basis of the other mans cock size.

But, most men also prefer to focus on shared interest, emotion, sense of humour and so on.

Only you can decide what matters to you; it's why we have minds.

There are a few physical things
(positions) you can do to help make it work with different sizes etc. But I've a feeling the actual mechanics of it aren't really your core issue...

 

[johnny989]

For me it's important to think about the pleasure of the person I'm with - big or small, it's what he has and it is what makes him enjoy the act, and there's nothing he can do about that size. But when I see and hear the pleasure he feels, I forget all about the size.

Of course, relations need reciprocating so maybe switch roles and positions so you can both enjoy, one day you can bottom, and another top. I wouldn't shame him by mentioning this without an absolute need, but even that is better than looking for a bigger dick secretly.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

It is very important to respect and preserve the bf's feelings, and this is a very sensitive subject for most men, especially below average size men. My ex wife told me that she met a very desireable man for bf/marriage but his small penis was a deal breaker for her. I don't know if toys would have changed that or not. I don't think that there is anything wrong with preferring or even requiring certain things sexually as long as you are flexible, reasonable, and reciprocate. Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you knew that your vagina was the wrong size for him to get the pleasure he really wanted? How hurt would you be? Would you want to try to find an alternative way to please him? Regardless of your answer here, remember, also, that he is not you, and it may be more or less difficult for him to accept.

I do believe SOME of the burden is on him to accept that you want certain things sexually, even if that means something he can't do with his particular penis. It will be difficult to hide or even obscure the fact that you want a bigger toy because it is big, and not because you "need variety" or some other ego-sparing subterfuge. Honesty is tough though. A lot depends on your man's confidence and his desire to genuinely please you. I also think it is of the utmost importance to make sure that he and his penis feel special and needed and virtually indispensable to you in some fashion.

Finally, make sure to exhaust other options like strengthening pc and pelvic floor muscles (he should make sure his eq is high also), using pillows and different positions to tighten and/or shorten your vagina, or different angles that stimulate pleasure spots and also make the penis feel bigger because it is not going straight in.

 

[elvid]

I'm sure you're not alone in this. I think all you can do is try to listen really hard to what your heart is telling you - don't try to suppress your feelings, or feel guilty about them. Only you can truly know if you're bored of the sex; and only you can truly know whether penis size is important to you. The main thing is that, however you feel, it's not "bad" or "wrong" - it's just how you feel. You're allowed to be bored of sex with someone... and you're allowed to think their penis is too small.

 

[keenobserver]

Touchy subject. From what I am able to discern, this is the only real area you feel is lacking. I would suggest talking. If this guy is all that you say he is, why not open a conversation about making sex "even better." He seems to be a game, giving guy - concerned about your pleasure and as a human being. Indicate that you do love him and love being with him but you are open to trying new ways of expanding the love making routine. Pose it as a variety issue. "Let's try something new . . . " Ask him for suggestions and offer some of your own - like toys, dildos, different positions, role play, etc.

At the same time you also have to accept that this is something that is hard to change and may not improve to the point where you want it to be. Then the question becomes, given everything else great about the relationship how important is this lone issue?

Good luck.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Great comments. Good luck.

 

[tiger61]

It is very important to respect and preserve the bf's feelings, and this is a very sensitive subject for most men, especially below average size men. My ex wife told me that she met a very desireable man for bf/marriage but his small penis was a deal breaker for her. I don't know if toys would have changed that or not. I don't think that there is anything wrong with preferring or even requiring certain things sexually as long as you are flexible, reasonable, and reciprocate. Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you knew that your vagina was the wrong size for him to get the pleasure he really wanted? How hurt would you be? Would you want to try to find an alternative way to please him? Regardless of your answer here, remember, also, that he is not you, and it may be more or less difficult for him to accept.

I do believe SOME of the burden is on him to accept that you want certain things sexually, even if that means something he can't do with his particular penis. It will be difficult to hide or even obscure the fact that you want a bigger toy because it is big, and not because you "need variety" or some other ego-sparing subterfuge. Honesty is tough though. A lot depends on your man's confidence and his desire to genuinely please you. I also think it is of the utmost importance to make sure that he and his penis feel special and needed and virtually indispensable to you in some fashion.

Finally, make sure to exhaust other options like strengthening pc and pelvic floor muscles (he should make sure his eq is high also), using pillows and different positions to tighten and/or shorten your vagina, or different angles that stimulate pleasure spots and also make the penis feel bigger because it is not going straight in.

I really appreciate your answer. I guess I never thought about what I would feel if I had a loose pussy because it is super tight. I think perhaps that is why the thicker lover I have before felt so amazing to me. But perhaps I am just guessing too. It isn't that I don't like his penis, even though I am kind of tired of the same positions that we are limited to because of size. I think it may be more psychological. I think that a larger penis really turns me on visually. Kind of like most guys are turned on by a really busy lady.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

I really appreciate your answer. I guess I never thought about what I would feel if I had a loose pussy because it is super tight. I think perhaps that is why the thicker lover I have before felt so amazing to me. But perhaps I am just guessing too. It isn't that I don't like his penis, even though I am kind of tired of the same positions that we are limited to because of size. I think it may be more psychological. I think that a larger penis really turns me on visually. Kind of like most guys are turned on by a really busy lady.

All perfectly natural. Remember that it is ok to like what you like and feel the way you feel. The tough decision is how important is it? It is ok if it is important; don't feel shallow about your priorities. Would you want your lover to tell you if the roles were reversed? The decisions you make will be the right ones.

 

[strauss1]

Would you still want to be with someone if every time you made love they were closing their eyes and imagining someone that's not you? That was fantasizing about their hotter exes while being intimate with you? That was so distraught by your physical shortcomings that they needed the assistance of a support group?

I'm going to guess the answer is no. I don't think anyone would. I don't think it's fair to either of you to continue this relationship.

 

[Uncutpete]

Look, my opinion here is going to be one side of the range of opinion on here. I know that for some women, penis size, and the feelings during penetration. are incredibly important. This may be true for you. Everything else in the relationship may be perfect, but something is missing -- the sensations at the very core of your relationship. The fact is when you fuck, the energy, the sensations, the erotic power of the experience seem to be missing for you because his cock just doesn't stimulate you well enough. Obviously, not all women feel this way, but you seem to.

Are you thinking of marrying this guy? If so, this creates a series of problems. Let me guess that for you, there is an emptiness at the sexual center. You need sex with a penis that really stimulates you (by your own words, oral is not enough). . How would that feel if it were a permanent frustration? Frustration can grow and turn in to a continuing resentment toward him for not giving you the satisfaction that you need. This problem is compounded by how hard it can be to talk to a guy about the size of his penis. Are you willing to have this frustration last until you are old enough that sex is less important (a very long time)?

What to do. Real problems within a couple's relationship need to be talked about. How to raise the issue? Only you can work out how to open the subject. People have used talking about old boy friends. If you can't do that, try buying a large dildo (better, have him come with you when you do); have him use it on you; talk about how much pleasure it gives. If he can talk to you about your needs, talk to him about possible solutions. If you can't do that, spend some time casting yourself forward several years of living with all his good qualities... and also sexual frustration. Can you live happily that way?

If you can't, here are some solutions:
A dildo. For some women, a small husband and a large dildo solves this problem. For other women, a dildo simply reminds them over and over of the real thing (attached to a real man) that is missing.
Other solutions are more radical:
-- finding a secret partner, having an affair with someone who gives you what you want, and staying with this guy;
-- taking the unusual step of having a third guy, who satisfies you, join you and your partner from time to time.
-- leaving the guy for someone who may be perfect in other ways including as a sexual partner;
Only you can decide whether any of these may work for you.

 

[tiger61]

Look, my opinion here is going to be one side of the range of opinion on here. I know that for some women, penis size, and the feelings during penetration. are incredibly important. This may be true for you. Everything else in the relationship may be perfect, but something is missing -- the sensations at the very core of your relationship. The fact is when you fuck, the energy, the sensations, the erotic power of the experience seem to be missing for you because his cock just doesn't stimulate you well enough. Obviously, not all women feel this way, but you seem to.

Are you thinking of marrying this guy? If so, this creates a series of problems. Let me guess that for you, there is an emptiness at the sexual center. You need sex with a penis that really stimulates you (by your own words, oral is not enough). . How would that feel if it were a permanent frustration? Frustration can grow and turn in to a continuing resentment toward him for not giving you the satisfaction that you need. This problem is compounded by how hard it can be to talk to a guy about the size of his penis. Are you willing to have this frustration last until you are old enough that sex is less important (a very long time)?

What to do. Real problems within a couple's relationship need to be talked about. How to raise the issue? Only you can work out how to open the subject. People have used talking about old boy friends. If you can't do that, try buying a large dildo (better, have him come with you when you do); have him use it on you; talk about how much pleasure it gives. If he can talk to you about your needs, talk to him about possible solutions. If you can't do that, spend some time casting yourself forward several years of living with all his good qualities... and also sexual frustration. Can you live happily that way?

If you can't, here are some solutions:
A dildo. For some women, a small husband and a large dildo solves this problem. For other women, a dildo simply reminds them over and over of the real thing (attached to a real man) that is missing.
Other solutions are more radical:
-- finding a secret partner, having an affair with someone who gives you what you want, and staying with this guy;
-- taking the unusual step of having a third guy, who satisfies you, join you and your partner from time to time.
-- leaving the guy for someone who may be perfect in other ways including as a sexual partner;
Only you can decide whether any of these may work for you.

Thank you so much for your advice!! I have already thought of some of these things. But I think you put them into a different perspective. Once again, he is perfect in also every way except for penis size. I have been a sexual creature my whole life, and sex is important to me. I feel that I am complete when I am expressing myself in every way, including sexually. But I just don't feel that "Bang" like I did with my other lovers. For the most part I could orgasm with them, and with the one who was thicker and bigger I could orgasm a lot. But with my current BF I can't really even orgasm at all. So I feel I am not satisfied in that way. So I feel I am not whole sexually. I have tried other things to try to fill this void. Like more lingerie or toys or some bondage. It is all fun, but still don't experience that mind blowing cumming LIke I have in the past.

It really wasn't a big deal to me until about a year ago when I started going out with my friends more. After a couple drinks the conversation comes around to sex, and often the size of guys, like our current partners. I would say some of them are what you call size queens. Their boyfriends or husbands are well endowed and that is important to them. That is fine. As the conversation went on they would tell the ones who have a BF or husband who is more modest in size how much better a larger cock feels. That is when all the memories and feelings of having a big cock felt. I actually started to get wet thinking of how exciting it felt. And my current BF, well, doesn't get me very wet at all. For the first time ever I have had to use some lube because I was less than enthused.

Once again I am probably going on too much. But I do like all of your answers everyone. It makes me think and makes me wonder what is important today, or maybe 10 years from now.

 

[erhan]

Thank you so much for your advice!! I have already thought of some of these things. But I think you put them into a different perspective. Once again, he is perfect in also every way except for penis size. I have been a sexual creature my whole life, and sex is important to me. I feel that I am complete when I am expressing myself in every way, including sexually. But I just don't feel that "Bang" like I did with my other lovers. For the most part I could orgasm with them, and with the one who was thicker and bigger I could orgasm a lot. But with my current BF I can't really even orgasm at all. So I feel I am not satisfied in that way. So I feel I am not whole sexually. I have tried other things to try to fill this void. Like more lingerie or toys or some bondage. It is all fun, but still don't experience that mind blowing cumming LIke I have in the past.

It really wasn't a big deal to me until about a year ago when I started going out with my friends more. After a couple drinks the conversation comes around to sex, and often the size of guys, like our current partners. I would say some of them are what you call size queens. Their boyfriends or husbands are well endowed and that is important to them. That is fine. As the conversation went on they would tell the ones who have a BF or husband who is more modest in size how much better a larger cock feels. That is when all the memories and feelings of having a big cock felt. I actually started to get wet thinking of how exciting it felt. And my current BF, well, doesn't get me very wet at all. For the first time ever I have had to use some lube because I was less than enthused.

Once again I am probably going on too much. But I do like all of your answers everyone. It makes me think and makes me wonder what is important today, or maybe 10 years from now.

Well I understand your concern, but I do think you have to think of the relationship in all aspects as well. Even if he had a huge cock, at some point you might get tired of the "sameness" of it all and crave something new or different. Do you really think you would never have another fantasy of someone else 10 years into a marriage with him, or 20? So really the answer is not necessarily just to end it because of his cock size unless you really cannot fathom sex with him anymore.

I think this is where, as has been mentioned, you need to include him in on this and see how you can incorporate some changes into your sex life with him. Perhaps start hinting how you like to see large cocks in porn, or discuss fantasies and talk about rough sex or something but mention that the guy has a really big penis. If he really does care about you and want you to feel good he will pick up on the hint and then see what he can do to help you fulfill your fantasies. That would include him wearing an extender that increases his girth and/or length. Or perhaps fucking you with a huge dildo would help. If he is really open and you two have a very strong relationship you could even consider adding a third guy with a big penis for a one night stand with the both of you (this one of course being the hardest to do and keep your relationship intact without it affecting things). If it is ending the relationship completely versus approaching these things, obviously it may be worth at least trying them since the alternative is that you two have to end it.

The question will really be if he can handle this concept that you like large cocks and he doesn't feel made inadequate because of it. I am pretty decent in length at 7 1/2 inches, but I feel I could use some extra girth at 4 1/2 (mid) to 5 inches (base and head). My new girlfriend, who although she has not had any other big dicks, loves mine and the idea of a big cock. And so although I seem to be enough for her, I want to please her and make her happy and it excites me to think about that for her. And so we have already discussed using an extender and big dildos to help achieve this fantasy for her. I have no problem with this, since it is for her benefit and I cannot help that I was born the way I was born (with penis pumps of course still an option at some point for me). And because we are so open about this and everything in our relationship I think it works and we both feel good and satisfied.

So I think it is imperative that you really approach this topic with your bf in some manner. You feel strong enough about it to go on here and post, and you seem to even be worried about the future and how it would affect you. If you really want this relationship to survive you owe it to him to talk about it in some way and see if you can help the both of you out. Hope that helps

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Thank you so much for your advice!! I have already thought of some of these things. But I think you put them into a different perspective. Once again, he is perfect in also every way except for penis size. I have been a sexual creature my whole life, and sex is important to me. I feel that I am complete when I am expressing myself in every way, including sexually. But I just don't feel that "Bang" like I did with my other lovers. For the most part I could orgasm with them, and with the one who was thicker and bigger I could orgasm a lot. But with my current BF I can't really even orgasm at all. So I feel I am not satisfied in that way. So I feel I am not whole sexually. I have tried other things to try to fill this void. Like more lingerie or toys or some bondage. It is all fun, but still don't experience that mind blowing cumming LIke I have in the past.

It really wasn't a big deal to me until about a year ago when I started going out with my friends more. After a couple drinks the conversation comes around to sex, and often the size of guys, like our current partners. I would say some of them are what you call size queens. Their boyfriends or husbands are well endowed and that is important to them. That is fine. As the conversation went on they would tell the ones who have a BF or husband who is more modest in size how much better a larger cock feels. That is when all the memories and feelings of having a big cock felt. I actually started to get wet thinking of how exciting it felt. And my current BF, well, doesn't get me very wet at all. For the first time ever I have had to use some lube because I was less than enthused.

Once again I am probably going on too much. But I do like all of your answers everyone. It makes me think and makes me wonder what is important today, or maybe 10 years from now.

You know the answer. Just exhaust the options before you decide.

 

[josh20hung]

I haven't read anything other than the original post. But I had to comment immediately. It's crazy to me when I read how you say you have an amazing connection with this man, and have a great life together, yet you can still obsess over something so insignificant as a penis size. You say he is a great man and lover, how well respected he is in the community ... how he bought you a GD car ... and then .. you have the nerve to sit here complaining about this size of his junk and how you don't think you are attracted to him anymore. IMO ... you don't deserve a man like that. You are not good enough for him. If his he had a f*cking inny for a dick .... one that literally went inside (not even sure that's a thing but regardless) .. you still wouldn't deserve him.

 

[Uncutpete]

I haven't read anything other than the original post. But I had to comment immediately. ..... IMO ... you don't deserve a man like that. You are not good enough for him. If his he had a f*cking inny for a dick .... one that literally went inside (not even sure that's a thing but regardless) .. you still wouldn't deserve him.

Right. You haven't read the discussion, but you have your opinion... and it condemns her. Perfect internet intelligence.
Let's turn it around. You have a great girl friend... but your sex life just isn't working, no matter how you try. Could that possibly be a problem when you think about spending your life that person? Dude, this is a penis size site. She has a real physical sexual problem. She is not satisfied by her boy friend's small penis. You make all sorts of negative declarations about her...
-- does someone feel threatened?

 

[josh20hung]

Right. You haven't read the discussion, but you have your opinion... and it condemns her. Perfect internet intelligence.
Let's turn it around. You have a great girl friend... but your sex life just isn't working, no matter how you try. Could that possibly be a problem when you think about spending your life that person? Dude, this is a penis size site. She has a real physical sexual problem. She is not satisfied by her boy friend's small penis. You make all sorts of negative declarations about her...
-- does someone feel threatened?

Lol .. First of all, let me just say, that I hardly feel threatened by this post. Second, if I was a woman, in a relationship with a man who was kind and generous (cars/vacations). Someone who was respected by everyone around him, successful in everything he did and who I consider to be a "very good lover" ... I just hope I would be able to look past the fact that he doesn't have a huge penis and love and accept him for all of the amazing qualities that he does possess. Finding someone that loves you and treats you right is much more important. But I guess not everyone agrees. I hope you all love that giant dick when you're 90!

And although this is a penis size site, IMO it's much more than that and more than that. For me, this is a site for men to come and share any idea, thought, passion or fantasy they may have. Somewhere where they can freely say anything they want without the judgement they fear they might get from their friends. Do you honestly think that men need a support group for being too hung? But again, maybe I'm wrong. If I am, for all of those men who have come here for the support. Let me be the first to say that I am sorry you have to deal with the struggle of having a large penis. I can't imagine what life may be like for you.

 

[Uncutpete]

For me, this is a site for men to come and share any idea, thought, passion or fantasy they may have. Somewhere where they can freely say anything they want without the judgement they fear they might get from their friends.

Great. But I was talking about YOU judging this poster and condemning her for what she says is her problem with her boyfriend. -- posting a negative, insulting comment, and without having read the thread.

The rest of your rant has nothing to do with anything that I wrote, or think for that matter...