David archuleta

sexy1234567 · Dec 18, 2022

bcziii said:
If he says he’s gay, then he’s gay. If he says he’s bi, then he’s bi. I know that LPSG loves to invalidate anyone who doesn’t take on the full-on “gay” label. It’s not my, nor your, job to tell him that that the feelings he has opened up to us about are not true, just because it doesn’t perfectly fit your fantasies. End of discussion.

Okay, I am posting it AGAIN, because it did nothing to violate policies. An no, you don't get to end discussion. We are talking human sexuality in the context of culture. It is complex.

Just because you say something, doesn't make it true. I said I was straight for years, yet looked at gay porn. Have some very random attractions to women, so I told myself I was bi. Finally accepted I was gay and will always be gay. I lied to myself and others for years. David is making remarkable progress, but it is pretty clear he is gay and is slowly determining how he reconciles social labels with his sexuality, his religion and American culture.

I am not fantisizing anything. I am making an obersvation that David is taking a journey, and a brave one (by doing it publicly) that so many of us already have. His truth is going to be the same as ours and I expect he will have a similar outcome. I will support him all the way.

Zackias · Dec 18, 2022

It kind of crazy how much charisma he has now that he is being open. He kind of had a creepy robot vibe before.

bigboaster · Dec 18, 2022

sexy1234567 said:
Okay, I am posting it AGAIN, because it did nothing to violate policies. An no, you don't get to end discussion. We are talking human sexuality in the context of culture. It is complex.

Just because you say something, doesn't make it true. I said I was straight for years, yet looked at gay porn. Have some very random attractions to women, so I told myself I was bi. Finally accepted I was gay and will always be gay. I lied to myself and others for years. David is making remarkable progress, but it is pretty clear he is gay and is slowly determining how he reconciles social labels with his sexuality, his religion and American culture.

I am not fantisizing anything. I am making an obersvation that David is taking a journey, and a brave one (by doing it publicly) that so many of us already have. His truth is going to be the same as ours and I expect he will have a similar outcome. I will support him all the way.

I'm not sure why your post was deleted either but It's actually disappointing how strong you feel the need to challenge people's identities though. When it comes to labels. It is literally what a person says they are... you don't have to like it or agree with it but that's THEIR decision.

GrayEyedGayGuy · Dec 18, 2022

See, I can see both sides of the debate. I think it’s absolutely up to each person what they choose to identify as, and in that sense, their choice is valid. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean they absolutely *are* that thing they choose to identify as.

I know I’ve identified myself incorrectly in the past about a number of things, including but not limited to my sexuality. I thought I was one thing at the time, but my self-perceptions shifted as I learned more about myself, the systems in question, and the world in general.

All that said, I think people’s journeys should absolutely be respected. It’s not up to any one person to tell David what his sexuality is, regardless of whatever thoughts or observations we have. If he really is exclusively gay, he’ll figure it out with time.

sexy1234567 · Dec 18, 2022

bigboaster said:
I'm not sure why your post was deleted either but It's actually disappointing how strong you feel the need to challenge people's identities though. When it comes to labels. It is literally what a person says they are... you don't have to like it or agree with it but that's THEIR decision.

People can call themselves anything they wish, but there is objective truth. While we might update concepts and throw out obsolete ideas and terms, there is still a basic understanding for those with sexual desires that there is a heterosexual-bisexual-homosexual continium.

There is a difference between idle speculation when someone is not open about that side of themselves, or contradicting them for no reason than a feeling. Both are unnecessary and mean spirited. However, David has been very open about his inner feelings, confusion. It is a very logical chain.

He is identifying as queer and asexual. So we are going to remove simple heterosexuality from the mix. He has not expressed any issues with gender identity so we can remove that. David is smart, he is also from an ultra-conservative culture. Saying he has no or minimal desire for sexual relationships is the lesser sin than leaving the gates open for queer, he is using the term deliberatly. He is on a journey many of us have been on with the same stops along the way. Most people that go through this, IF they share anything about it, usually do it after they have reached self acceptance and share the expierence in retrospect. Among the many special things about David is he is sharing early and open to discussion and wanting to comfort others in similar situations.

bcziii · Dec 18, 2022

sexy1234567 said:
Just because you say something, doesn't make it true.

This is a good point, but let me rephrase: if someone tells us they are bi, then as far as we are concerned, they are.

Maybe they actually aren't, but what does it matter to us? We can't get inside David's head. He gets to choose what label he wants to use; we don't get to dictate that. Why is it so hard for us to respect this? Can we at least give him the benefit of the doubt? What he chooses to identify as is nobody's business but his own.

This type of discussion brings back horrible memories of when I came out to a former "friend." I was told that I actually wasn't gay, I was just "confused." It's a similar invalidating discourse going on here---"Oh, he's not ACTUALLY bi, he's just confused." Why is it so hard to not jump on the chance to invalidate someone who opens up to us, just because it doesn't fit what we "think"? It just makes me sick seeing this kind of discussion come from within a community that preaches acceptance.

Also, I am unsure why your post was removed. I promise I did not report it. I had only reported the other person who had told me to f**** off.

sexy1234567 · Dec 18, 2022

bcziii said:
This is a good point, but let me rephrase: if someone tells us they are bi, then as far as we are concerned, they are.

Maybe they actually aren't, but what does it matter to us? We can't get inside David's head. He gets to choose what label he wants to use; we don't get to dictate that. Why is it so hard for us to respect this? Can we at least give him the benefit of the doubt? What he chooses to identify as is nobody's business but his own.

This type of discussion brings back horrible memories of when I came out to a former "friend." I was told that I actually wasn't gay, I was just "confused." It's a similar invalidating discourse going on here---"Oh, he's not ACTUALLY bi, he's just confused." Why is it so hard to not jump on the chance to invalidate someone who opens up to us, just because it doesn't fit what we "think"? It just makes me sick seeing this kind of discussion come from within a community that preaches acceptance.

Also, I am unsure why your post was removed. I promise I did not report it. I had only reported the other person who had told me to f**** off.

No worries. We are just broadly discussing sexuality here, which I think David would approve. More discussion on the nuances and appreciation for differences.

I will never understand why people get so worked up on stuff they resort to personal attacks.

Rxmitzi · Dec 18, 2022

When the paragraphs have evolved into full-on debates on sexual identity:

rakkasei · Dec 18, 2022

he's exploring and discovering his sexual identity. Let's just use the terms he currently identifies with and if that evolves in the future, let's refer to whatever identity he identifies with at that time.