I know a lot of people here have very strong opinions on cheating. I understand you’re against it and think men who do it are terrible people to do that to a partner. I respect your opinions. I find the topic interesting. I am curious if there are men here who cheat on their partners who have no problem with it and are willing to talk about it here.
Do You Cheat On Your Partner And Why?
- Thread starter D_odif
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I don’t cheat on my bf, not because I'm a saint or have strong morals, just not that motivated. I like being with him more than anyone else. I do know that he's cheated on me sexually, he's handsome and has a sweet nature so people are drawn to him. He takes the view that wanking is not sex. I disagree. I cut him a bit of slack, not much. He's never let me down in an important way.
Brian S
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No. What's the point in being in a committed relationship if you're going to cheat on each other? Either break up and sow your oats, or come to an agreement that you're not going to be monogamous with one another. I'm all for whatever people wanna do with their relationships, as long as both parties are on the same page. If both parties are NOT on the same page, then you're just being a lying-ass, sketchy piece of trash. A person doesn't get to play with another's emotional and physical well-being in that way. There is little I respect less in a person.
I would love to know why people cheat so please people, please don't cast judgment and dissuade others from sharing their experiences. Thanks!
Cheating may fulfil a certain fantasy, but I am very happy with my partner and proud to say I haven’t cheated in 15 years.
I’ve cheated once on a partner and it was the biggest eye opener and self learning experience I’ve had to date.
It happened after things started to go a bit strange in our reasonably short relationship.
When we first started dating we’d be in contact all the time and spending lots of time together.
A while after we made it official, I noticed that he would rarely bother to contact me & would take sometimes up to a week/2 to respond with no reason as to why he’s been a ghost. It really confused me as when we were together he was unbelievably affectionate and just all round loving but when we were apart, it was as if I didn’t exist.
I tried all avenues to communicate with him and get him to speak to me but he would just give crappy excuses and would change for a while before resorting back to his ghosting ways.
I started to feel alone and lonely as fuck and this hurt even more due to the fact that I was in an actual relationship feeling this way... evidently this lead to me jumping back onto certain apps seeking reassurance that I was okay/attractive/desired. At times when he would be ghost, the attention I got from other guys made me feel amazing and after some time I ended up hooking up with a random guy.
i felt disgusted in myself as I hold a lot of morals and hate cheaters but this helped me understand why some people would cheat. The feeling of being unwanted/alone whilst in a relationship is soul destroying.
I broke up with him after a few days of reflecting and sadly found out that he had also been browsing apps... and saw me on there.
Lesson learnt. I’d now know the signs in both any future partner and myself and if I felt there was no communication I would probs call it quits instead of torturing myself.
Hope this gives you some perspective.
It happened after things started to go a bit strange in our reasonably short relationship.
When we first started dating we’d be in contact all the time and spending lots of time together.
A while after we made it official, I noticed that he would rarely bother to contact me & would take sometimes up to a week/2 to respond with no reason as to why he’s been a ghost. It really confused me as when we were together he was unbelievably affectionate and just all round loving but when we were apart, it was as if I didn’t exist.
I tried all avenues to communicate with him and get him to speak to me but he would just give crappy excuses and would change for a while before resorting back to his ghosting ways.
I started to feel alone and lonely as fuck and this hurt even more due to the fact that I was in an actual relationship feeling this way... evidently this lead to me jumping back onto certain apps seeking reassurance that I was okay/attractive/desired. At times when he would be ghost, the attention I got from other guys made me feel amazing and after some time I ended up hooking up with a random guy.
i felt disgusted in myself as I hold a lot of morals and hate cheaters but this helped me understand why some people would cheat. The feeling of being unwanted/alone whilst in a relationship is soul destroying.
I broke up with him after a few days of reflecting and sadly found out that he had also been browsing apps... and saw me on there.
Lesson learnt. I’d now know the signs in both any future partner and myself and if I felt there was no communication I would probs call it quits instead of torturing myself.
Hope this gives you some perspective.
MuscledHorse
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The greatest disservice Christianity ever did to males was institute the idea of sexual monogamy and the unnatural idea of chastity. I have been with so many guys who are married to women, some to men or in a relationship with other guys (and, for those about to get all judgy and call me a homewrecker, they never tell you that up front and I never reveal the identities of my sex partners to others). It used to piss me off when I was a teen and in college but I finally realized the problem was not the person but the structure they had been shoehorned into that didn't fit with the Natural drives of males.
Monogamy is the exception, not the rule, in Nature, and while many animals may have a mate, they have sex with others. The healthiest, longest lasting relationships I have encountered, especially in the gay male community, have been ones that treated Lust as Lust and Love as Love and together enjoyed where those two overlap. The 2,000 year sales pitch of the Church treating Lust and Love as synonyms and marketing an absurd notion that sex is sinful and dirty unless it occurs between you and "the One" and then it magical transforms itself into the Ultimate Expression of Pure Love has proven an abysmal failure (check the marriage rates and the divorce rates of the dwindling numbers getting getting married). I'm not saying monogamy is bad, but that it is unrealistic for most males; though in rare cases it may work and it is based on an unscientific theological (made up) principle.
In my own relationship, I have been very lucky to recently become boyfriends with a sweet gearhead and geek tech guy that I met early in the year. He has a huge sex appetite like me and we are genuinely in Love. Friends say that whenever we are together they can see the chemistry and Love (and they, in fact, figured us out before we did).. Our relationship is sexually open and he enjoys that I work in the sex industry. We really encourage each other to play and enjoy seeing each other getting plowed with cocks or hands (he is a versabottom as well). I think that helps add to the intimacy when we are together to hang out or go get food or go to the gym and make us even more into each other. Our relationship isn't based on jealous, which is what monogamy, at its core really functions off of, feeding all kinds of insecurities in the partners. My other half and I know we are always there for each other first and no matter how much sexual indulgence we engage in at a club or a sex resort, we know at the end of it all we will fall asleep in each other's arms.
Monogamy is the exception, not the rule, in Nature, and while many animals may have a mate, they have sex with others. The healthiest, longest lasting relationships I have encountered, especially in the gay male community, have been ones that treated Lust as Lust and Love as Love and together enjoyed where those two overlap. The 2,000 year sales pitch of the Church treating Lust and Love as synonyms and marketing an absurd notion that sex is sinful and dirty unless it occurs between you and "the One" and then it magical transforms itself into the Ultimate Expression of Pure Love has proven an abysmal failure (check the marriage rates and the divorce rates of the dwindling numbers getting getting married). I'm not saying monogamy is bad, but that it is unrealistic for most males; though in rare cases it may work and it is based on an unscientific theological (made up) principle.
In my own relationship, I have been very lucky to recently become boyfriends with a sweet gearhead and geek tech guy that I met early in the year. He has a huge sex appetite like me and we are genuinely in Love. Friends say that whenever we are together they can see the chemistry and Love (and they, in fact, figured us out before we did).. Our relationship is sexually open and he enjoys that I work in the sex industry. We really encourage each other to play and enjoy seeing each other getting plowed with cocks or hands (he is a versabottom as well). I think that helps add to the intimacy when we are together to hang out or go get food or go to the gym and make us even more into each other. Our relationship isn't based on jealous, which is what monogamy, at its core really functions off of, feeding all kinds of insecurities in the partners. My other half and I know we are always there for each other first and no matter how much sexual indulgence we engage in at a club or a sex resort, we know at the end of it all we will fall asleep in each other's arms.
I cheated on my ex quite a lot. Looking back, we shouldn't have been together because of our differences around sex. I told him early on in dating that I was not interested in monogamy, but the longer we were together the more he put "rules" on our relationship. It started with not barebacking with other guys, then we could only play with others together, and because he never wanted to play with others, it resulted in de facto monogamy.
I took things into my own hands (or hole, as it were) and hooked up with other guys behind his back. Honestly, it was hot as fuck knowing I was doing something wrong and I don't have any regrets. He never found out so no one got hurt and it was fun.
I took things into my own hands (or hole, as it were) and hooked up with other guys behind his back. Honestly, it was hot as fuck knowing I was doing something wrong and I don't have any regrets. He never found out so no one got hurt and it was fun.
I don't cheat in relationships, but people have cheated on their partners with me before, and that hasn't bothered me morally. especially when I lived in a small town, it felt safe to have that leverage of knowing their secret. They can't hurt me if I have information that can hurt them. So cheaters would have no choice but to show me respect. It felt like a protective layer.
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