Ever found someone online?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by vxie, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. vxie

    vxie Member

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    Have you ever found someone online who you thought was awesome? Someone you knew you could falling for? And then they just disappear? Delete their accounts, emails, all contact details?

    And the last messages you got from gave no indication that this would happen? Except u know they were feeling a bit lonely?

    How do u cope, with no good bye? Not knowing if they did something ‘stupid’ or that they just decided it was ‘too much’?

    It's happened twice to me in the last 18 months, and each time it's fucked me over big time... I know online relationships are stupidly hard... but how do you ever make friends online if you don't invest a little bit of yourself?

    Have you ever completely cut someone off without any explanation or indication that this was what you were going to do, if so, did you think about the impact on them? (online or IRL)

    just wanted to know peoples thoughts, experiences...
     
  2. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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  3. Hellboy0

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    Yes...I do know what you mean, vxie.

    It's the price we pay for the privacy we have on-line.

    It also indicates that to fully communicate with each other, humans optimally need visual and kinesthetic stimulation...not just what we read. Otherwise, it's hard to know someone's true intentions or meaning. For example, how many times have you SMS's someone and a very innocent comment was totally misread.

    ...that's my 2cents worth. But my sympathies to you, buddy.
     
  4. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Yeah that happened to me. Once the guy told me he couldn't handle talk to me anymore and blocked me off everything... :redface:

    And then I've been fucked over a few times by people whom I thought were genuine. It's hard a first, but treat it sort of like a breakup, take time to grieve, because even if that was a fake persona you were still speaking with someone. It wasn't a computer talking to you, and you probably had some influence in their life.

    *hugs* if you hurt still.
     
  5. Not_Punny

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    It's a bummer. Unfortunately, these two people that you bonded with online have far bigger problems than you do. Imagine the psychological pain they must be in if they do that to a good friend. EIther that or they were completely fake.

    My recommendation is to make MORE friends, both online and in the real world and then....

    -- Don't agonize over the people you DON'T have, and
    -- Celebrate the people that you DO have.

    The only remedy for a scarcity is a quantity.
     
  6. xemnasfury21

    xemnasfury21 New Member

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    Ive chatted with people before and just flirted, maybe face c2c as well, every day/night for weeks with a lot of staring at eachother going on and then it just end, or me block them lol...

    It's never regarded as going out or going anywhere by me at least so it doesnt bother me. Not like a real person freezing me out
     
  7. Jovial

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    Why would you block someone? Were they harassing you or something? And it is a real person on the other end, unless they were lying about who they were.
     
  8. vxie

    vxie Member

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    yeah, i know they weren't fake... i guess my concern/ being upset is not knowing if they are ok... all it takes is a simple 'hey, i need some space - i'm okay, but i cant do this...' Some simple explanation before deleting their contact details so that you know they're okay.


    LOL @ xemnasfury21... yeah it think most people online who c2c have done that... casual online flirting and getting off is a bit different though. that stuff doesnt bother me in the slightest, because you know the relationship is just a bit of casual fun.
     
  9. xemnasfury21

    xemnasfury21 New Member

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    More or less. It gets to a point where every second you are online you are talking to them, and "ignorning" them because you arent saying something every second or are talking to someone else - because they can see they know youre there.

    I'm always told I am charming maybe I lure these people into being obsessive lol.

    And sorry, yes they are real people. What I meant to say is, to me it is obvious it isnt going to happen so if they vanish or I get annoyed because they don't vanish, it doesnt bother me to lose contact.

    If someone from class that I talked to daily in real life and socialised with all of a sudden blocked me and wouldnt answer my calls, then I'd be in some way bothered.

    That's what I meant by real people
     
  10. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Eh... I've never really had that happen with me... but I have a gazillion internet "friends" or acquaintances or whatever, so I could see it happening very easily.
     
  11. Not_Punny

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    Interesting. If only there was a way for them to go online invisibly. Maybe there is.

    I cruise LPSG on "invisible" for this same reason -- so that I can have the "space" to surf without HAVING to pay attention to someone.
     
  12. Principessa

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    Cool Song! I had never heard it before it's funny. :biggrin1: So you are a cyber stalker . . . good to know. NJQT checks locks on doors and windows. :eek:

    I haven't yet needed to block anyone. To the best of my knowledge I haven't been blocked by anyone. :rolleyes: You would be surprised how common cyber harassment & stalking is with men and women. Some people just have no idea when they have crossed a line.

     
  13. xemnasfury21

    xemnasfury21 New Member

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    Hmm, well I know on MSN there is appear offline but then file sharing that I use extensively with friends doesn't work and nobody knows you are there if they do want you... while blocking the one person lets others see me and not them, and lets everything work.

    I wouldnt open the program if I didnt want to use it for someone else too.
     
  14. sjprep06

    sjprep06 New Member

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    Yahoo has the same 'appear offline' function as well, which I use quite often except for a few people.

    With a body like your's xmenasfury21, I wouldn't be surprised if people didn't know how to leave you alone :biggrin1:


    To answer the original question, I have had a relationship like this before. One guy I met online and I got close and actually talked for hours on end a couple of days a week. Then one day he just vanished from yahoo. A couple of months later, he appeared and we started talking again and then disappeared again. He came back online earlier last year and I didn't say anything to him (because I wanted to see if he would im me first, for which he didn't) and vanished yet again. Just last month, he was online recently and I did have one chat with him. He seemed to be ok and he seemed to be still interested in me but he still disappeared again. He came online for his birthday, for which I did wish him a good one, but he didn't reply and hasn't replied yet either.

    I did like him and if possible, I would have gone to see him (I live in Pennsylvania and he's in Toronto, Canada and I also don't have a car). But I guess it wasn't meant to be for us...:frown1:

    It does hurt to have someone do that. It made me question myself and what I may have done to have made him just disappear like that. I just hope that they are safe and that maybe one day we'll talk again...
     
  15. Bbucko

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    I was involved with someone whom I'd met online who "disappeared" in the late summer of 2006. I was heartbroken and fell into a pit of depression lasting months.

    Turns out he'd been arrested. I'm still unclear as to whether I ducked a bullet or not.
     
  16. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    Yeah, you wouldn't want anyone to disturb us.
     
  17. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I haven't had it happen online, but in my experience, guys often bug out for one reason or another. Two things happen, they either were not that into me or they come back after a time period where they think I will not yell at them, and confess to being scared of something. Usually sacred of rejection, moving too fast, my or their not being over a past mate, expectations, etc.

    Can I suggest trying to occupy your time with something or someone else? If they reappear and what to talk, have a really frank, adult discussion about how uncool their behavior was, and if you take them into your life again, tell them it will not be tolerated a second time.
     
  18. Principessa

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    :kiss: Oh my a big strong sexy man is in my bedroom! :eek:
    Whatever shall I do. :kiss::wink:
     
  19. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    haven't had anyone leave, but have met up a few times, after expecting a great encounter, a once in a lifetime type of thing, only to have a disappointing one
     
  20. Gillette

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    rofl
     
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