Farting
- Thread starter Lordpendragon
- Start date
LEXUS
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, and there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, and there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."
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One day when teaching sixth grade, I felt a fart coming and I could tell it was going to be a real stinker. I didn't think about the consequences to the students when I hatched my plan. I farted in one part of the room and then eased over to the far side of the room following a trail away from studen desks. Difficult I know. When the oder was noticed, two boys got into a heated argument over which one did it as the smell was all in that area and it was bad.
It was all I could do to keep a straight face. I felt guilty letting the boys hammar it out, yet, I as a teacher didn't want to take credit for it either.
It was all I could do to keep a straight face. I felt guilty letting the boys hammar it out, yet, I as a teacher didn't want to take credit for it either.
rawbone8
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B_Hickboy
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Lordpendragon said:No attempt at any clever correlations here - just thought that we could share our common experience.
If my diet is good I tend to be loud, voluminous and inoffensive.
:smile:
Is it true that anal virgins have a higher pitch?
I am and anal virgin, but am multitonal. I go from basso profundo to sounds only dogs and bats can hear, often in one escapage.
Farting requires that I be relaxed, but it relaxes me further. It is often the first step toward that all-important quiet, contented stated of mind.
Like right now...
To all residents of Ohio and eastward thereof: My apologies.
The intake of baked bean and brat casserole has had an "undesirable", but predictable effect on me. I am thusly banished out of the house to the front porch whereas to pollute the outdoor air and wildlife. Once again, my apologies.
The intake of baked bean and brat casserole has had an "undesirable", but predictable effect on me. I am thusly banished out of the house to the front porch whereas to pollute the outdoor air and wildlife. Once again, my apologies.
Speaking of old farts with tremendous hang time, where is the legendary Lordpendragon?:biggrin1:
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I would say drifting about somewhere, but that's a tad obvious... even for me! Though it does rather suit the thread's motif
this hasn't been mentioned, so perhaps it's a somewhat unique situation ...
i used to hookup with a guy for fuck sessions (me top/him bottom). he had a super tight hole. as i was thrusting in and an out of him, his ass would get filled up with air. we would need to periodically stop so that he could fart and relieve the pressure. his farts were not noticeably smelly or loud. it only took a couple of minutes of fucking and we would have to stop again for another fart break. we would laugh about it.
i used to hookup with a guy for fuck sessions (me top/him bottom). he had a super tight hole. as i was thrusting in and an out of him, his ass would get filled up with air. we would need to periodically stop so that he could fart and relieve the pressure. his farts were not noticeably smelly or loud. it only took a couple of minutes of fucking and we would have to stop again for another fart break. we would laugh about it.
