I'm gonna have my first time bottoming with my boyfriend this valintines day and wondering if anyone has some tips to share, I just wanna make sure its pleasurable for both of us
First Time Tips?
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ttmax
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Douche beforehand. Maybe buy a trainer kit of different sizes of butt plugs (cheaper from ebay shops usually). Use lots of lube. Anal massage to warm you up. You can get desensitising lube which helps and is ok with glass or metal dildos/butt plugs, but not recommended with silicon toys (water-based lube for them). Aromatics help, but not everyone's cup of tea. And a patient top helps!
Patient tops do help.
I wonder about douching for the first time (I know, I know) but it can also be a bit Level II if you've never done it before. Ensuring regularity by drinking some soluble fibre before bed for a few days beforehand, and just knowing your body's timing can serve the purpose just as well. Poop and anal can be a difficult thing to get past for a new bottom. Compound that with self consciousness keeping one from relaxing, and it can make things more difficult. I recommend having a light conversation with your guy if you feel anxious about any of that. Looping talk about intimate things into getting ready to go to intimate places with someone is a big help in any situation.
Desensitizing lubes can also desensitize the top's cock as well, and can also make you a little less aware if there's any tearing or reason to slow down. If he's into it, I find that a nice long rim job can achieve the same effect, without taking away from any sensations.
I wonder about douching for the first time (I know, I know) but it can also be a bit Level II if you've never done it before. Ensuring regularity by drinking some soluble fibre before bed for a few days beforehand, and just knowing your body's timing can serve the purpose just as well. Poop and anal can be a difficult thing to get past for a new bottom. Compound that with self consciousness keeping one from relaxing, and it can make things more difficult. I recommend having a light conversation with your guy if you feel anxious about any of that. Looping talk about intimate things into getting ready to go to intimate places with someone is a big help in any situation.
Desensitizing lubes can also desensitize the top's cock as well, and can also make you a little less aware if there's any tearing or reason to slow down. If he's into it, I find that a nice long rim job can achieve the same effect, without taking away from any sensations.
ttmax
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Good point. The top's experience and cock size are also factors.
A body massage is also a good way to get relaxed beforehand.
There is a sex toy which you can buy from ebay which is a good size for beginners, search on there for
Vibrating Prostate Massager Anal Beads Dildo Clitoris Stimulator Adult Sex Toy
I would think twice about the desensitizing lube!
If you are going to douche first, make sure it's hours beforehand, to make sure everything is all clear. And throw out the chemical crap and replace it with warm water. You may have to do this a few times to make sure all is clear.
If you are going to douche first, make sure it's hours beforehand, to make sure everything is all clear. And throw out the chemical crap and replace it with warm water. You may have to do this a few times to make sure all is clear.
cedarizzo
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The biggest things to remember are to use PLENTY of lube! And then add more lube! You can never have too much lube.
A patient top, who goes slowly, maybe uses his fingers to play with your hole before hand it always good.
Relax, take it slow and don't panic. It is a muscle and tensing up will not help. Relax and enjoy the feeling.
The first time will hurt. But the pain goes away and will be replaced with pleasure.
I like to douche beforehand. Some guys believe in a high fiber diet, or they take fiber supplements.
Honestly, unless your boyfriend has a monster cock, you don't have to do a deep cleaning douche. A light douche will help clean you out enough.
A patient top, who goes slowly, maybe uses his fingers to play with your hole before hand it always good.
Relax, take it slow and don't panic. It is a muscle and tensing up will not help. Relax and enjoy the feeling.
The first time will hurt. But the pain goes away and will be replaced with pleasure.
I like to douche beforehand. Some guys believe in a high fiber diet, or they take fiber supplements.
Honestly, unless your boyfriend has a monster cock, you don't have to do a deep cleaning douche. A light douche will help clean you out enough.
Bad idea to use desensitizing lube -- you might feel less pain but in the process do more damage that can take ages to heal. Better to go slow and stop if it hurts... pain is telling you something important.
There's plenty of guidance on these message boards about using butt plugs and toys to gently stretch over time. Put in the time and effort there and your long term experience will be much better. It's a marathon, not a sprint!
Some good advice here. I do take issue with one point here though. It doesn’t have to hurt. Not even the first time. My first time was pain free. Practice before with a dildo or plug will help, and so will a top who is patient and understanding. Don’t rush it.
cedarizzo
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Even your first time with a dildo will hurt. I just want them to not get scared and never follow through because it hurt a little bit the first time.
I think it depends. Like I said, my first time did not hurt. Not even a little. We warmed up and did a lot of foreplay, and once the big moment came, it slipped into me like butter. And this was not a small cock. Now, it was a different sensation, and was incredibly intense, but painful, not at all.
My experience may not be everybody's, I suppose, but I also think that with enough time and care, the pain factor can be reduced dramatically, and if like me, eliminated entirely.
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Maybe so, my first time was not painless abs I was totally turned off. It wasn't until many years later that I got into anal.
A good top will spend the extra time to make sure the bottom is opened up and ready. But I've met 10 bad tops (who don't forever that extra time) for every good top.
Even with all the foreplay and lube, there can be a little pain. That just means slow down and use more lube. The pain will subside. The pleasure will come and that is what you will remember.
My advice is to suggest to your boyfriend beforehand to spend a significant time with foreplay before he fucks you. This may include rimming, thin vibrators, dildoes or simply fingers. Definitely regular reapplications of lube throughout.
Gradual girth progression is the key.
I would not recommend he tries to fuck you until he is able to get three fingers up your ass and you are begging for more. Any pain should be no more than a deep massage. If it's more than that, then you are progressing too fast. Rather than pulling out, just hold him very still until the spasm subsides. You are best to sit on his cock as you are in control of progressing when you are ready.
To be honest, setting a date like Valentine's just adds too much pressure to be perfect.
If you put too much expectation on it, most likely you will tense up and make it harder, plus he won't stay hard because he's over thinking it as well.
Make it fun, make it relaxed, explore each other's body and if he happens to fuck you then great, if he doesn't that's fine just find some other way to get off and try again some other time.
Gradual girth progression is the key.
I would not recommend he tries to fuck you until he is able to get three fingers up your ass and you are begging for more. Any pain should be no more than a deep massage. If it's more than that, then you are progressing too fast. Rather than pulling out, just hold him very still until the spasm subsides. You are best to sit on his cock as you are in control of progressing when you are ready.
To be honest, setting a date like Valentine's just adds too much pressure to be perfect.
If you put too much expectation on it, most likely you will tense up and make it harder, plus he won't stay hard because he's over thinking it as well.
Make it fun, make it relaxed, explore each other's body and if he happens to fuck you then great, if he doesn't that's fine just find some other way to get off and try again some other time.
A lot suggest lube to numb the area, as a doctor do not do this. If you tear or cause any injury you may not feel it. Pain is there to make you stop and go slower. Lots of lube, I always give nice rim job and get my tongue inside my boyfriend and fingers. Relax and take it slow.
cedarizzo
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I agree do NOT desensitize or numb the area, you really need to feel how it is going. I am not a fan of lube, I much prefer to use saliva, but with the first time I would recommend as much lube as you can possibly use. Lube on it's own is not going to numb the area. But never use those desensitizing creams/lubes.
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My #1 piece of advice is to experiment first, ideally with a dildo or a butt plug. That way you’ll know how your body will react. Granted, it’s not nearly the same thing as taking a dick— so your first time with your boyfriend will still be special!— but you’ll hopefully keep those awkward moments to a minimum.
This thread is a great illustration of how everybody’s body is different. Maybe you’ll feel pain the first time, and maybe you won’t, but the key is knowing what to expect. (Btw, I agree with what everyone has said about how should avoid the numbing lube. The best sex comes from being able to feel all those sensations!)
My own experience is a case in point. When I’m bottoming, my ass usually cramps up for a few seconds, but then it loosens up and starts to feel really good. So I’ve learned how to handle that. Usually I just power through, ignore those few seconds of cramps, and then let the pleasure take over. Sometimes I’ll use a toy on myself beforehand, which loosens me up to the point that the cramping never happens. I can also avoid the cramps by getting a good rimjob or some other kind of foreplay.
Anyway, the point is to figure at least some of that out before the big day. And when the time cums, enjoy!!!!
This thread is a great illustration of how everybody’s body is different. Maybe you’ll feel pain the first time, and maybe you won’t, but the key is knowing what to expect. (Btw, I agree with what everyone has said about how should avoid the numbing lube. The best sex comes from being able to feel all those sensations!)
My own experience is a case in point. When I’m bottoming, my ass usually cramps up for a few seconds, but then it loosens up and starts to feel really good. So I’ve learned how to handle that. Usually I just power through, ignore those few seconds of cramps, and then let the pleasure take over. Sometimes I’ll use a toy on myself beforehand, which loosens me up to the point that the cramping never happens. I can also avoid the cramps by getting a good rimjob or some other kind of foreplay.
Anyway, the point is to figure at least some of that out before the big day. And when the time cums, enjoy!!!!
