Gentlemen

[bthegreat]

I've been trying to reinvent myself into a class A Gentleman in every way possible in my life. From what I wear, to what I say, from head to toe, inside and out.

You guys can help me with that? What are the rules and guidelines?

 

[nudeyorker]

I read your post and thought to myself. That would be the perfect book for me to write. Looks like someone beat me to it... Book Review: How to Be a Gentleman | Overnight Sensation - Public Speaking, Communication and Personal Development
Just from what little I've read in the review this might be a good place to start. Manners are the foundation to this, style and grace are the icing on the cake.

 

[ColoradoGuy]

I've been trying to reinvent myself into a class A Gentleman in every way possible in my life. From what I wear, to what I say, from head to toe, inside and out.

You guys can help me with that? What are the rules and guidelines?

Wow, kudos to you, bthegreat. Self-improvement just doesn't get enough airtime... we're too busy keeping up with the Kardashians or worrying about whether Snooki can get any more sun-damaged than she already is.

I don't think there are any rules about what it means to be a gentleman except for those found in etiquette: how to say thank you, when to show up for a party, and which fork gets used first at a multi-course dinner. Peter Post, grandson of the famous Emily Post, came out with a book a few years ago that might be useful on those topics. nudeyorker's suggestion for reading is a great place to start because a gentleman always knows what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and when to zip it. Communication skills and presence are the traditional stuff of business self-help books, but they are also key weapons in a gentleman's arsenal.

Apart from good manners, I wouldn't focus too much on 'style' (although Esquire magazine is a pretty good source for fashion advice and no matter what anybody else says, you should figure out what works for you). Instead of style, I'd focus on the basics*:

1. A gentleman knows how to be responsible for his actions and accountable for the consequences.
2. A gentleman knows how to make a Manhattan and should be well-versed in a how a Cosmo is put together, too. Further, he knows when to suggest coffee instead of 'another'.
3. A gentleman knows how to tie a tie, how to pull off a tux, and when tennis shoes or 'scruff' are inappropriate.
4. A gentleman knows that the correct proportion of listening to speaking is generally 2:1.
5. A gentleman treats others as though it matters (because it does).
6. And finally, a gentleman understands that what he knows is always surpassed by what he doesn't.

* These are admittedly, my own list of 'the basics', but I've found them to be pretty useful. Even at the ripe old age of 50, I'm still trying to perfect my 'inner gentleman'.

Good luck!

 

[erratic]

There are lots of rules, but the best central tenet I've ever heard is that a gentleman always strives to make those around him as comfortable as possible. Ie. A gentleman always thinks about others first.

 

[grandunification]

I've been trying to reinvent myself into a class A Gentleman in every way possible in my life. From what I wear, to what I say, from head to toe, inside and out.

You guys can help me with that? What are the rules and guidelines?

Don't do it! Haven't you read my thread, "The Tom Leykis Thread"? Gentlemen finish last man. She'll use you and cheat behind your back if you're good to her. She'll think of you as a friend if you open doors for her and pull her chair out, and return her calls, and buy her flowers, and all that other nice crap.

 

[willow78]

I'd love to help you Mr bthegreat, but I'm too much of a filthy-minded pervert to be a gentleman. :biggrin1: I am extremely polite, but that's where it ends.

 

[Cyrilsven1]

I've been trying to reinvent myself into a class A Gentleman in every way possible in my life. From what I wear, to what I say, from head to toe, inside and out.

You guys can help me with that? What are the rules and guidelines?

Rule number one would be to stay away from LPSG. At LPSG we don´t behave like gentlemens. In here, we let our basic needs and instincts spring to life!

 

[Patchos]

Only watch classy porn

 

[Pierced1953]

It's all about having class, being respectful.... how you would like to be treated?.....

 

[erratic]

Don't do it! Haven't you read my thread, "The Tom Leykis Thread"? Gentlemen finish last man. She'll use you and cheat behind your back if you're good to her. She'll think of you as a friend if you open doors for her and pull her chair out, and return her calls, and buy her flowers, and all that other nice crap.

Wow. That is incredibly misogynistic. Thankfully, I checked out the thread in question and just about every response condemned this Tom Leykis guy.

As one poster very rightly pointed out, there's a difference between being a good man and being a doormat. Doormats ask to be stepped on, whether they deserve it or not. The solution is not, however, to turn yourself in to an asshole and walk all over female doormats.

Thankfully the OP wants to go the high road and attract a higher caliber of women.

 

[bthegreat]

Rule number one would be to stay away from LPSG. At LPSG we don´t behave like gentlemens. In here, we let our basic needs and instincts spring to life!

Consider this my last week on here then.

 

[554279]

It's all about having class, being respectful.... how you would like to be treated?.....

Well said. the only thing I would add is doing the right thing, even when no one is looking.

 

[EllieP]

Congratulations on striving to be better, B! The world needs more gentlemen... and ladies. There are a number of gentlemen on LPSG who do not ask me to "take a look and tell me what you think."

Admittedly, these gentlemen are in the minority, but there are enough here that keep me coming back.

What makes a gentleman? Someone who can snatch a kite from a tree to make a 5-year-old happy and can also schmooze a maitre'd for the best table to make me happy. Suggest a wine, don't order my drink for me. Of course, hold the door. Don't forget your please and thank yous. Treat the wait staff nice, but be stern if the meal isn't prepared to your liking.

Succeed in your position with ethics intact. Blonde jokes are OK, I guess if you have to, but racist fare will drop you back to zero.

And finally in bed, strive for the silver medal. A true gentleman comes in second.

 

[mattsrod7]

sounds like a good idea

 

[houtx48]

Wash your ass before going out drinking with the boys. Stinky holes are so uncouth.

 

[willow78]

Women love a man who is good to his mother, but be careful how you explain it. Saying, "For Mother's Day, I bought her jewelry", sounds a lot better than "For Mother's Day, I gave her a pearl necklace".....:biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

 

[AlteredEgo]

Don't do it! Haven't you read my thread, "The Tom Leykis Thread"? Gentlemen finish last man. She'll use you and cheat behind your back if you're good to her. She'll think of you as a friend if you open doors for her and pull her chair out, and return her calls, and buy her flowers, and all that other nice crap.

This guy, and his wife-beating idol are clueless. I have always, ALWAYS, always dated gentlemen. I've also only had casual sex with gentlemen. With the exception of opening the car door for me, my husband strictly adheres to a code of chivalry and honor. I would never have married him otherwise. There are still men and women being groomed to this kind of living. Good manners and fashionable dress will carry a person far in any social situation, so just ignore the ignorant, and their terrible advice.

True story: I was raised to stand by a door when in the company of males, and wait for them to open it for me. This includes car doors (which my husband will not open). When we were still dating, a male relative offered to drive me some place so we could be alone and talk. When we got to his car, he caught me reaching for my door handle. He gently brushed my hand aside, opened the door for me, and asked in a stern tone, "Who is this jerk you're dating who has gotten you into the habit of opening your own doors?" Because the majority of men in my family always open doors, pull out chairs for women, always carry groceries for elderly neighbors, generally strive to be exceedingly polite, helpful, and charitable within their communities, and I grew up watching them as examples of manhood, I have come to expect certain behaviors from men who want my time, and they can expect certain behaviors in response to, and in encouragement of those behaviors. Women who cannot appreciate a gentleman can't keep one, and guys who can't behave as one can't keep women like me.

 

[bthegreat]

I got some books on the matter, I'll report back on what it says, but I'm sure it'll tell me that porn sites like this is not cool, so my days on here are numbered.

 

[willow78]

LPSG isn't a porn site (despite all my best efforts! :tongue - please stay!

 

[bthegreat]

LPSG isn't a porn site (despite all my best efforts! :tongue - please stay!

if it says stay away, I have too.