I've been trying to reinvent myself into a class A Gentleman in every way possible in my life. From what I wear, to what I say, from head to toe, inside and out.
You guys can help me with that? What are the rules and guidelines?
Wow, kudos to you,
bthegreat. Self-improvement just doesn't get enough airtime... we're too busy keeping up with the Kardashians or worrying about whether Snooki can get any more sun-damaged than she already is.
I don't think there are any rules about what it means to be a gentleman except for those found in etiquette: how to say thank you, when to show up for a party, and which fork gets used first at a multi-course dinner. Peter Post, grandson of the famous Emily Post, came out with a book a few years ago that might be useful on those topics.
nudeyorker's suggestion for reading is a great place to start because a gentleman
always knows what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and when to zip it. Communication skills and presence are the traditional stuff of business self-help books, but they are also key weapons in a gentleman's arsenal.
Apart from good manners, I wouldn't focus too much on 'style' (although Esquire magazine is a pretty good source for fashion advice and no matter what anybody else says, you should figure out what works for
you). Instead of style, I'd focus on the basics*:
- A gentleman knows how to be responsible for his actions and accountable for the consequences.
- A gentleman knows how to make a Manhattan and should be well-versed in a how a Cosmo is put together, too. Further, he knows when to suggest coffee instead of 'another'.
- A gentleman knows how to tie a tie, how to pull off a tux, and when tennis shoes or 'scruff' are inappropriate.
- A gentleman knows that the correct proportion of listening to speaking is generally 2:1.
- A gentleman treats others as though it matters (because it does).
- And finally, a gentleman understands that what he knows is always surpassed by what he doesn't.
* These are admittedly, my own list of 'the basics', but I've found them to be pretty useful. Even at the ripe old age of 50, I'm still trying to perfect my 'inner gentleman'.
Good luck!