A person who I would consider "fat" is someone who has a high enough, visibly-apparent body fat % that *I* find it unattractive. This is an utterly subjective measurement, and it is not intended to indicate any of the following:
-how attractive the average person would find the individual in question
-his worth as a person
-his percetile for body fat within the general population
-any type of judgement beyond the statement of my own opinion (YOU decide on its significance)
Well aren't you the empathetic, humanifuckingtarian! I admit I have body issues, which were bought on by having unfortunately dated verbally and emotionally abusive man like you.
There is no implied emotional tag here. A person who would find this emotionally offensive is someone that is suffering from pre-existing insecurities. Guess what? I'm not going to withold my opinion just in case someone might already be insecure. Maybe you think that makes me a bad person. I don't.
FYI - I think you need to look up the word empathetic.
You're right, "sympathetic" would have been much better in that sentence. Good call. (No sarcasm.)
Back then I was 5'8" and 132 pounds and my asshole boyfriend (who must be related to hkwes) told me I was, "a damn good lay for a chubby chick."
If you are 5'8" and 132#, you have not achieved the maximal healthy body fat % for a person your size. If you don't care about that, and you don't care about my opinion of your attractiveness, then there is absolutely nothing to talk about on this point. Just to be clear, I would never say to a girlfriend that she is a "damn good lay for a chubby chick." I think that is a really sexist and demeaning thing to say to someone to you care about. If you really belive that his statement to you is comparable to me telling a stranger that I really do think she is fat while admitting that it is not her fault, well... I probably can't change your mind about that. I don't think they are comparable.
I have never left a negative comment on a cock pic, because I know how devastating it would be to 99.5% of men. It's a pity men cannot show the same compassion and understanding towards us.
I think that is commendable. It, indeed, would be a low blow. Let me just make an observation here, though. If a guy said to a girl, "here, look at this picture of my penis erect next to a ruler. You can see that it is exactly 4 inches in length fully erect. I've heard that most studies indicate that this is shorter than the population median. Would you agree?" And the girl responded, "yes, the studies that I've seen concur with that." Has she committed a foul? Honestly, I don't think the girl making that statement to the guy, or me telling the topic author are relating something the person anything they don't already know.
Empathy doesn't assign labels.
I wouldn't say this is unequivocally true, but there is certainly a kernel of truth here that I agree with.
Having some fat doesn't mean a person is fat, anymore than you're having an asshole means that you are one.
I have no idea how you could really define someone to be "fat" by some universal standard. When I said, "I think you are fat," this was a shorthand version of, "according to my standards and perspective on body image, you are more overweight than the body type I would find attractive." The latter just seemed too verbose at the time.
you've seemed quite intelligent but the way this post was phrased damages your track record.
Sorry, I'm not going to be bullied by people calling me unintelligent or ignorant for stating my opinion in what I consider to be an extremely even-handed way. I did not make the statement with the intention of being offensive, and anyone who thought otherwise missed the point. In case you are now wonder, "what WAS your point?" it to provide my initial reaction to the topic and to provide a small voice of dissent to a series of fairly bland and obvious expressions of reproach against trolls who shape their posts with the intent of hurting feelings.
I think a better argument would be that this is a support group, and that I might have violated some community standards by expressing my honest opinion. Still, I think there are ways to support people that do not rely on constant consolation.