Going to end it but having trouble doing so...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Ramsey, Sep 14, 2011.

  1. Ramsey

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    Ok, so I'm sure some of you have read my posts and know that I'm not happy with my current girlfriend. I love and adore her, but we just don't click and have real chemistry. She seems dead set on staying together. She's not super clingy or obsessive, but I can tell that she is a little desperate. Not in a turn off way but I just don't feel that click now.

    But every time I'm going to tell her, I freeze up. I see her face and I just get weak. I can't seem to do it to her face, who am I to crush this poor girls heart? She is sweet and like I said I really love and care about her but I don't see things lasting in the long run.

    So, if I were to tell her on the phone does that make me a wuss-puss? I know it's not the best way to do it, but this is the biggest area in my life that I have problems doing-breaking up with someone.
     
  2. silvertriumph2

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    Well first of all...I know it can be difficult to do, but gather up the courage, bite the bullet, and tell her face to face. That is the least you can do. Tell her like you have told it here.

    Since you believe the relationship will not last and will eventually end, it is better to break it off now and will save you both the time and energy of trying to keep a pointless affair going. The
    longer you wait, the worse it will be. You owe it to her to let her know...in person...how you feel.

    A letter or phone call is the wuss-puss way out...:biggrin:

    Good Luck....
     
    #2 silvertriumph2, Sep 14, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2011
  3. jacko_9

    jacko_9 New Member

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    you will crush her little heart more doing it by phone than face2face, she deserves an honest conversation. it's not easy but if everything was easy life would be very boring!
     
  4. monstro

    monstro New Member

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    If you really want to break up with her then show her and yourself some respect: man up and tell her face to face. If you can't, maybe you don't really want to.
     
  5. hockeysweat

    hockeysweat New Member

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    Don't do it over your phone. There's no easy way to break someone's heart. You'll feel like shit during and after, but if it must be done, then you've gotta be a stone-cold bastard. You just have to harden your heart.
     
  6. Countryguy63

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    Sorry Bud,,,over the phone = wuss-puss :thumbsdown:
     
  7. Ramsey

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    Hey at least I never even considered text message like some people have!
     
  8. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Do NOT do it by phone!!! She will NEVER forgive you for it!

    You just need to get some courage together and talk to her. Face to face. And if you intend to go with the 'It's not you, it's me' line, make sure you are able to verbalise it in a lot more detail than that. When I broke up with the ex I talked about in the other thread I used those words. I was being entirely truthful. Like your girlfriend, he was wonderful, just not right for me. But he thought I was just using a line on him. Be ready to give her more info than that if that's what she asks for.

    And again, good luck!
     
  9. helgaleena

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    Nobody actually enjoys breaking up with someone unless they are a sadistic creep, which obviously does not describe you. And nobody breaks up long-distance except cowards. It's fine to look sorry when you break up, but it's the kindest way to do it, face to face.

    Consider that she perhaps does not realize that there is better to be had than what she has experienced with you. It might be hard for her to imagine. But you know things could be a lot better than this. Help her to believe things can only be better for you both if you move on! I know you can.
     
  10. dolfette

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    hand written letter with you in the next room.
    if you can't do it face to face.
     
  11. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I think this is a pretty good suggestion.
     
  12. dolfette

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    i would actually prefer that if i was getting the shove.
    face to face is harder in some ways.
     
  13. Ramsey

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    Well if I did face to face, then a public place or a private place?
     
  14. dolfette

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    are you fucking mental???

    you think that maybe, in the event of her bursting into tears, it would be best to ensure an audience??
     
    #14 dolfette, Sep 16, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2011
  15. dolfette

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    her place, you bloody muppet. her place so that, if she's really upset, she can either be alone or phone a buddy. her place so that she is not faced with a journey home looking and feeling like utter shit.

    sheesh!
     
  16. nicenycdick

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    Don't even try to find a way to avoid her reaction. It is part of having relationships with people. But be firm. Do not let her grief soften you. Stick to your decision to break it up. It will be better for both of you in the long run. Just tell her clearly that you have decided to go it alone for now. It will not be fun, but she will appreciate that you treated her with the respect she deserves.
     
  17. Viper73

    Viper73 Active Member

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    What ever you do, DONT do it over the phone!
    My ex just did that to me and it made it a thousand times worse. It'll just make it look totally heartless.
     
  18. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I wouldn't have put it QUITE this way, but . . . well . . . dolf did kinda say it perfectly.

    Please do it in private.

    Please do it at her place rather than yours, and leave when she asks you to.

    Please do it face to face. The letter option is also okay if you plan to hand it to her and hang around while she reads it, although unlike dolf, I wouldn't prefer it to a verbal discussion.
     
  19. Ramsey

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    Yes
     
  20. dolfette

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    oh, ok...

    don't be a douche though.
    do unto others, doll.
     
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