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help!
- Thread starter MokeMan
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- rtg,
Yeah I know what you mean. Although it's different for me and you, it's still kinda similar...during sex I get close to cumming but then I can't cos I'm thinking about it so much and I feel like there's too much pressure on me (from both myself and my bf).
I think you should just try the viagra then if you're worried she will leave. Maybe go and see a dr and ask them for any advice?
I think you should just try the viagra then if you're worried she will leave. Maybe go and see a dr and ask them for any advice?
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ive been at doctors and they told me its karma. 
because i have this duality in me. there's emotional dimension, and rational.
emotionally, i like her, i might be in love with her, i care about her and i want her to be with me forever. that is all the product of hormones and chemicals in my blood, and i consider that to be primitive urge.
rationally, i think i can have a lot better girlfriend then her. but anyway, i dont want to have girlfriend, cause there are a lot, and i mean a lot girls who are interested in me for just fucking.(i avoided them before i learn to fuck in order not to degrade they opinion of me being good fucker).
conflict of these two led me to this thinking. i will be with her and enjoy her for a month or two after we fuck for the first time, then i will leave her and start fucking all these girls around me.
implications of that is that my conscience is killing me at some moments, because I DONT LIKE TO PLAY WITH OTHER PEOPLE EMOTIONS!! but I have to do it because i cannot guarantee my penis will not shrink with some new girl. therefore i keep her close to me.
p.s. i have a tendency to over-think absolutely everything, cause i have seriously high iq, more then 99% of people. Mensa test cannot measure it... i havent mean to be cocky, i just think thats important
because i have this duality in me. there's emotional dimension, and rational. emotionally, i like her, i might be in love with her, i care about her and i want her to be with me forever. that is all the product of hormones and chemicals in my blood, and i consider that to be primitive urge.
rationally, i think i can have a lot better girlfriend then her. but anyway, i dont want to have girlfriend, cause there are a lot, and i mean a lot girls who are interested in me for just fucking.(i avoided them before i learn to fuck in order not to degrade they opinion of me being good fucker).
conflict of these two led me to this thinking. i will be with her and enjoy her for a month or two after we fuck for the first time, then i will leave her and start fucking all these girls around me.
implications of that is that my conscience is killing me at some moments, because I DONT LIKE TO PLAY WITH OTHER PEOPLE EMOTIONS!! but I have to do it because i cannot guarantee my penis will not shrink with some new girl. therefore i keep her close to me.
p.s. i have a tendency to over-think absolutely everything, cause i have seriously high iq, more then 99% of people. Mensa test cannot measure it... i havent mean to be cocky, i just think thats important
Last edited:
- D_22,
How bout blindfolding yourself? Have her perform oral on you win you're hard rock and maybe she'll handle the rest.
There can be a few factors. Stress, performance anxiety. Some times you need to be in a certain position to stay hard to allow yourself to penetrate. I've noticed for me when I had a bit of this issue a while back, I had to just lie back and let the girl climb on top in a cow girl position. After a few strokes, my erection was fully up and I lasted for a long while doing other positions, etc.
There can be a few factors. Stress, performance anxiety. Some times you need to be in a certain position to stay hard to allow yourself to penetrate. I've noticed for me when I had a bit of this issue a while back, I had to just lie back and let the girl climb on top in a cow girl position. After a few strokes, my erection was fully up and I lasted for a long while doing other positions, etc.
mwwa, I agree with the others in that it seems pretty clear you're working your anxiety up to boner-killing levels, and are hoping that a drug will cure you. Like skyray said right up at the top of the thread: It won't do what you want it to.
Trust someone who has experienced a lot of anxiety in his life: It'll kill your erection, especially when you get into a self-perpetuating cycle like it sounds that you have. You get anxious, so you lose your erection, so you fear that you'll lose your erection, which makes you anxious, so you lose your erection. Wash, rinse, repeat.
The thing is, mwwa, it sounds like your anxiety is learned, which means you can un-learn it. You do it by riding out the anxiety. Anxiety, like hunger pains, cravings, or happiness, comes in waves. It's both a mental and a physical thing, too. You get all worked up and you body gets flooded with stress hormones. So it will take some time for you to ride out the anxiety.
The best advice I have for how to do that is ignore your dick for a bit. Tell your girlfriend that you want to just focus on her until your dick comes around. Eat her out. Kiss her all over. Let her kiss you all over. Find out what makes her really, really hot. Eat her out some more. Tell her how gorgeous she is, and how hot you are for her. Tell her how great she tastes. Take some time doing this - ten minutes or more. (I doubt she'll say no to fifteen minutes of you worshipping her body.) Give some time for your brain to spool down and your body to flush those boner-killing hormones.
If you can ride the anxiety out, you'll be able to get your boner back. It might take some time, and it might take repeated tries, but it's the best advice I have for you. And after enough tries, you'll teach your body that there's nothing to be anxious about.
Trust someone who has experienced a lot of anxiety in his life: It'll kill your erection, especially when you get into a self-perpetuating cycle like it sounds that you have. You get anxious, so you lose your erection, so you fear that you'll lose your erection, which makes you anxious, so you lose your erection. Wash, rinse, repeat.
The thing is, mwwa, it sounds like your anxiety is learned, which means you can un-learn it. You do it by riding out the anxiety. Anxiety, like hunger pains, cravings, or happiness, comes in waves. It's both a mental and a physical thing, too. You get all worked up and you body gets flooded with stress hormones. So it will take some time for you to ride out the anxiety.
The best advice I have for how to do that is ignore your dick for a bit. Tell your girlfriend that you want to just focus on her until your dick comes around. Eat her out. Kiss her all over. Let her kiss you all over. Find out what makes her really, really hot. Eat her out some more. Tell her how gorgeous she is, and how hot you are for her. Tell her how great she tastes. Take some time doing this - ten minutes or more. (I doubt she'll say no to fifteen minutes of you worshipping her body.) Give some time for your brain to spool down and your body to flush those boner-killing hormones.
If you can ride the anxiety out, you'll be able to get your boner back. It might take some time, and it might take repeated tries, but it's the best advice I have for you. And after enough tries, you'll teach your body that there's nothing to be anxious about.
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So, did you take his/her advice?
And sorry, no idea whether you can mix Viagra with booze or blow, but I should forget about V and just try to get yourself and you gf in a relaxed state and just let nature take it's course.
If you have no problem getting erect then just take a little more time, play a naked game or something - how close can you both get without touching, I don't know, but something other than sex immediately.
Best of luck.
@erratic i like your answer.
"The best advice I have for how to do that is ignore your dick for a bit. Tell your girlfriend that you want to just focus on her until your dick comes around. Eat her out. Kiss her all over. Let her kiss you all over. Find out what makes her really, really hot. Eat her out some more. Tell her how gorgeous she is, and how hot you are for her. Tell her how great she tastes. Take some time doing this - ten minutes or more. (I doubt she'll say no to fifteen minutes of you worshipping her body.) Give some time for your brain to spool down and your body to flush those boner-killing hormones."
i get istant boner when im looking in her eyes. i like her a lot! but, i have this other issue. or is it hers... smell of her pussy is so gross to me, it bothers me to the extreme. theres nothing in this world i would like more then to push my head deeply in her hips, but that smell, ffs! i know she is clean and healthy, its just the way she smells. it makes me almost puke!
so, if am hard with her, before we get naked, i take viagra, that makes me even harder. that makes my hardness not easy to disappear. then i penetrate her, see that it is the most beautiful thing in the world => anxiety disappears => profit. is my thinking right??
"The best advice I have for how to do that is ignore your dick for a bit. Tell your girlfriend that you want to just focus on her until your dick comes around. Eat her out. Kiss her all over. Let her kiss you all over. Find out what makes her really, really hot. Eat her out some more. Tell her how gorgeous she is, and how hot you are for her. Tell her how great she tastes. Take some time doing this - ten minutes or more. (I doubt she'll say no to fifteen minutes of you worshipping her body.) Give some time for your brain to spool down and your body to flush those boner-killing hormones."
i get istant boner when im looking in her eyes. i like her a lot! but, i have this other issue. or is it hers... smell of her pussy is so gross to me, it bothers me to the extreme. theres nothing in this world i would like more then to push my head deeply in her hips, but that smell, ffs! i know she is clean and healthy, its just the way she smells. it makes me almost puke!
so, if am hard with her, before we get naked, i take viagra, that makes me even harder. that makes my hardness not easy to disappear. then i penetrate her, see that it is the most beautiful thing in the world => anxiety disappears => profit.
is my thinking right??
Pierced1953
Expert Member
At your age drugs is not the answer. Have you ever tried yoga, maybe erotic massages or a day of nudity together. Spend a day or weekend not getting dressed, listening to music, making a nice dinner and dining. Try not to have penetration and let her give you a nice long massage and let her take charge. If that doesn't work once you get hard put a cock ring on.
Let us know how things work out. Just have fun and good luck.
Let us know how things work out. Just have fun and good luck.
Great! Work that.
I don't know how to help you with that one. Any of the ladies or hetero guys here have advice?
You can also use your hands, use toys. Remember that women are less likely to cum from penetration than other means.
so, if am hard with her, before we get naked, i take viagra, that makes me even harder. that makes my hardness not easy to disappear. then i penetrate her, see that it is the most beautiful thing in the world => anxiety disappears => profit.
Then what happens when you try it without Viagra to help you along? It's like taking off the training wheels for the first time. You might have more skills, but you'll be anxious - and it's the anxiety that kills your boner...and then you're stuck in that feedback loop again, relying on Viagra to get you out of it. Again. Anxiety is the problem, not your erection.
I would strongly, strongly recommend that you try other means before trying Viagra, especially at your age. And before you try any prescription drug, speak to a doctor about it.
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
try Viagra... cialis will probably not help your situation, as you still need to be aroused in a traditional sense...
But many men respond to viagra with an erection that is quite persistent regardless of their thoughts.
Viagra may help you get over the hump, to allow you to actually experience what penetrative sex is like...
Thereafter, you may well find that the anticipation of that enjoyment overrides any wandering thoughts about performance.
@Phil Ayesho this thread is all about your response. i was wanting to hear that. i love u man. bye bye all. :*******
