Hometown Sucks

[ATallkingsafeD]

Q: Do you think it’s harder to truly be yourself when you’re living in your hometown, especially when you have close family around? Is that why people say moving away from home can help you become more of your own person?

Hello Everyone,

Queer male from the hood- 20s masc/trade - A tall king safe D, here. I notice as I age and learn my self more, living in my hometown is more and more depressing. Dating here is limited, not sure if it’s because this is Los Angeles, i’m black, or maybe I don’t know if I want to date a girl or a guy.

Any advice? Please be nice - Thanks

 

[pike00]

LA? Were you born on there?Aren't big cities supposed to be lgbt friendly with a larce dating pool? Could you specify how/why is it hard for you in there? Also, I'm not american so if my questions sound stupid that's probably why.

When I opened this post I imagined it to be another "I hate my small town but can't leave" post.

 

[halcyondays]

Sounds like the hood and family in the hood are what's limiting. If the expectation of your location is overly hetero, get out.

My advice to the young is get your own place. One of the reasons I left home besides school was so I could have a dating/sex life in my own digs away from the fam. No roomies either if possible.

 

[ATallkingsafeD]

LA? Were you born on there?Aren't big cities supposed to be lgbt friendly with a larce dating pool? Could you specify how/why is it hard for you in there? Also, I'm not american so if my questions sound stupid that's probably why.

When I opened this post I imagined it to be another "I hate my small town but can't leave" post.

Pleasure to meet you,

Yes LA,CA is very diverse for lgbt(q). I know for sure dating is difficult because of the culture. People want quick and easy, social media has also ruined the romance of dating. Not to mention it’s very expensive due to the economy but my question is more about living in your hometown.

“Q: Do you think it’s harder to truly be yourself when you’re living in your hometown, especially when you have close family around?”

You think dating would be more easier outside of your hometown or maybe it’s difficult because I don’t know what I want. How’s dating for you ? Are you in your hometown.

 

[ATallkingsafeD]

Sounds like the hood and family in the hood are what's limiting. If the expectation of your location is overly hetero, get out.

My advice to the young is get your own place. One of the reasons I left home besides school was so I could have a dating/sex life in my own digs away from the fam. No roomies either if possible.

I agree that the Hood is a big portion of dating stress, homophobia, but more so it’s the lack of access to heated dating options. Feels like romance is dead with same sex attraction more just bottom are hungry a new top and monogamy doesn’t exist in the gay community. Then on the flip, in heterosexual relationships the girls are exciting me since I don’t see their ambition. A pretty face is cool but in LA it’s more ingenious, you have to be something your not. Very judgmental environment.

When you left your hometown and you started dating did the freedom help or is the folks in the area a factor too ?

 

[halcyondays]

I agree that the Hood is a big portion of dating stress, homophobia, but more so it’s the lack of access to heated dating options. Feels like romance is dead with same sex attraction more just bottom are hungry a new top and monogamy doesn’t exist in the gay community. Then on the flip, in heterosexual relationships the girls are exciting me since I don’t see their ambition. A pretty face is cool but in LA it’s more ingenious, you have to be something your not. Very judgmental environment.

When you left your hometown and you started dating did the freedom help or is the folks in the area a factor too ?

Freedom definitely helped. I was at a uni in a big city and it became a fuckfest.