How long does your guy last??

[walla99]

It's also about relaxation. If your man is focussed too intensely on the physical sensations, he'll come quicker. There's a kind of knack to letting go into the mood, relaxing into the groove(as it were), letting go so there's plenty of erection, but no tension. He could try releasing energy by focussing on his breath. If he's really feeling he wants to come, get him to think pissing instead. There's a whole load of ways to defuse the sexual pressure. It's all the tantric stuff (Well, I wrote a book about it, couldn't get it published!) and , yeah, meditation helps, doesn't really matter what kind. Just so long as it gets you used to being where you really are, rather than off in the future, or back in the past. Sex is really about being totally present. The more you're focussed on some goal ( getting yourself off, getting her off, ) the less present you are to what's actually happening
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If he really is so tense sexually, he could get into yoga and yoga breathing, both are great stress reducers.

And of course, he should spend much more time tuning into you before penetration.

Maybe some of this will help someone.

Hmmm this is really interesting...I told my guy I wanted him to grab my ass when I was on top and he told me when he grabs me like that, it makes him come sooner. Frustrating!!

Also, I do feel like I'm very present but in the few minutes before I come I'm really concentrating on a picture in my mind if you will and it's usually not involving my boyfriend. It bothers me because I want to be thinking of him at the moment. I do feel it's pretty normal, but it makes me wonder how do I change that...like I said 95% of the time, I'm totally into him, but it's that few minutes in order to orgasm where I think of something else. Then right after, I'm back to being "with" him if that makes any sense...