Humiliation in Swinging Scenes

[D_Themistacles Wombbroom]

After the first time my wife and I had a 3s ome, we talked a lot about it. She said that when he took off his pants, she knew fucking him was going to be very different. Of course I probed. She said that when he was soft he was longer and much fatter than I was when I was hard.

She also said that during the whole time he was like a rock - much harder than me.

As he was leaving he shook my hand but he had this smirk on his face. I knew he was thinking that he had rocked her world !

 

[D_Caesar Titts]

I would have though this is something you would have to get used in the 'scene'.

There will always be bigger and better.

 

[GeorgeTSLC]

The obligatory query:
So how did the two of you feel about that?

 

[HazelGod]

Jesus, this is getting so tired...

 

[B_bi_mmf]

Some guys with big cocks are smug. Don't let this guy make you feel bad. If you and your wife are into other men fucking her, then look for guys who are not egomaniacs but who are respectful of all involved. Such guys are really out there.

Regardless, what a guy with a cock much bigger than yours can do for your wife is humiliation only if you want it to be or if you yourself choose to view it that way. For me it is a turn-on to see my wife enjoying getting fucked by other men and to witness their intense desire for her. Her having sex with other guys, big or otherwise, does not detract from the sex that she and I have and does not make me feel inadequate or too small to get the job done. In fact, it intensifies our sex.

After the first time my wife and I had a 3s ome, we talked a lot about it. She said that when he took off his pants, she knew fucking him was going to be very different. Of course I probed. She said that when he was soft he was longer and much fatter than I was when I was hard.

She also said that during the whole time he was like a rock - much harder than me.

As he was leaving he shook my hand but he had this smirk on his face. I knew he was thinking that he had rocked her world !

 

[D_Themistacles Wombbroom]

Like I have said, I felt very inadequate - yet because of my sexual interests - I was turned on too. In fact, when I later jerked off replaying the scene, I was so excited i came instantly.

My wife seemed to think nothing of it. She would just go back to fucking just me. Until the second time, which I have described here before. Then the shit hit the fan.

 

[D_Themistacles Wombbroom]

Bimmf,

You are absolutely right.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

If you can't stand the fact that there is a guy that is bigger then you and that that guy will give your wive a whole new sensation what she will love, don't start swinging. Just ridiculous to complain about it now, because you and your wive made the decision to do it that way, so don't blame the guy or so. It was yours decision. The guy didn't lost anything, he had a fuck.
If you just can't stand it, don't start with it.

 

[B_bi_mmf]

If you can't stand the fact that there is a guy that is bigger then you and that that guy will give your wive a whole new sensation what she will love, don't start swinging. Just ridiculous to complain about it now, because you and your wive made the decision to do it that way, so don't blame the guy or so. It was yours decision. The guy didn't lost anything, he had a fuck.
If you just can't stand it, don't start with it.

I think that this is an oversimplication and a bit unsympathetic. These feelings are complex and cannot necessarily be anticipated.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

I think that this is an oversimplication and a bit unsympathetic. These feelings are complex and cannot necessarily be anticipated.

No it isn't. Look, if you are married, you have to think about such things. It isn't a small thing to decide to share a bed with another. You take a lot of risks here.
If you ask a bigger guy to fuck your wive, well don't complain after it. That is just ridiculous. You made a decision or you agreed with it.
You had the experience, it didn't went like you wanted it to happen, well learn to live with that fact. Pitty enough. This isn't about being unsympathetic, just saying how it is.

 

[MisterMark]

No it isn't. Look, if you are married, you have to think about such things. It isn't a small thing to decide to share a bed with another. You take a lot of risks here.
If you ask a bigger guy to fuck your wive, well don't complain after it. That is just ridiculous. You made a decision or you agreed with it.
You had the experience, it didn't went like you wanted it to happen, well learn to live with that fact. Pitty enough. This isn't about being unsympathetic, just saying how it is.

Maybe he didn't realize how he was going to feel. Is that so impossible to understand?

If someone is hurt in a relationship, would you say, "Too bad! You shouldn't have gotten into a relationship if you didn't want to get hurt!"

I hope you're not planning to become a counselor or psychotherapist, Pieter.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

Maybe he didn't realize how he was going to feel. Is that so impossible to understand?

If someone is hurt in a relationship, would you say, "Too bad! You shouldn't have gotten into a relationship if you didn't want to get hurt!"

I hope you're not planning to become a counselor or psychotherapist, Pieter.

Oh but I am, and I'm good with it.
This is just how I see it. I can understand why you would try new things out, think it's cool. But if you KNOW that there is gonna be a bigger guy and that you wive would love it, don't do it if you aren't comfterable with that fact. In a relationship you also have a thing to say, and he had to be honest with his wive that he didn't liked that.

 

[Hockeytiger]

I guess I have to agree with Pieter here. If the thought of one's partner enjoying sex with another person (or even enjoying it a little more than with you) is bothersome, than swinging is simply not for you and never was.

How could one not forsee that as a possible consquence of swinging? Some things are better left as fantasies.

 

[B_bi_mmf]

I guess I have to agree with Pieter here. If the thought of one's partner enjoying sex with another person (or even enjoying it a little more than with you) is bothersome, than swinging is simply not for you and never was.

How could one not forsee that as a possible consquence of swinging? Some things are better left as fantasies.

Again, I find Pieter's judgment, and now yours, a bit harsh. Human sexuality is complex and our desires are sometimes at odds with one another.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

Again, I find Pieter's judgment, and now yours, a bit harsh. Human sexuality is complex and our desires are sometimes at odds with one another.

This isn't a harsh judgement. This is our opinion. I know you like the swinging part a lot and you also do it. And I'm okay with that, why not, it sounds cool to try out. But for me it seems that you can handle with it better then the OP. That is it. This isn't a harsh opinion. Just how I see it it: the truth in my opinion.

 

[MisterMark]

Good Lord. People do things and then sometimes have regrets or mixed feelings about their choices. It's part of being human - at least for most people.

I've never understood the attitude of "you should have known better", especially in a first-time experience like that. I guess it must be nice to never make mistakes and to be able to see the world in such black and white terms, but not everyone makes the right choices the first time around (or even the second time around).

 

[B_bi_mmf]

This isn't a harsh judgement. This is our opinion. I know you like the swinging part a lot and you also do it. And I'm okay with that, why not, it sounds cool to try out. But for me it seems that you can handle with it better then the OP. That is it. This isn't a harsh opinion. Just how I see it it: the truth in my opinion.

Precisely because the OP is in fact having difficulties handling the situation, I feel that we owe him understanding rather than telling him that he should have been able to anticipate all of his reactions and, in essence, is simply getting what he bargained for. Lack of insight into oneself is a pretty common feature of the human condition, as is difficulty in foreseeing all of the emotional ramifications of the decisions we make.

I would just like to see more evidence of empathy from you two (Hockeytiger and Pieter). Pain is real, even if an observer believes it was of one's own making and could/should have been anticipated.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

Now you guys are saying that I don't have feelings and don't mind how they feel and that I see things black and white. Well that is wrong, because now you guys also see it as a black and white thing.
If you do swinging, make sure you relationship can have that kind of stuff going on.
But it is rather stupid to make a few threads about the same, and then I think it's stupid to complain about. I know he talked with his wive, but it seems to me he didn't talked well enough with her.
He has to fight for his opinion on the decision they BOTH made.
You can't have pitty all the time because they made mistakes. Sometimes it is just better to be a bit rude, so that they will see what the mistake is. The op just have to see that this was aslo his fault.

 

[MisterMark]

Sometimes it is just better to be a bit rude, so that they will see what the mistake is.

Sounds very German to me. :wink:

Germany: The birthplace of schadenfreude.

:tongue22:

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

Sounds very German to me. :wink:

Germany: The birthplace of schadenfreude.

:tongue22:

That is a rude thing to say! The past of germany has nothing to do with this and especially not with the people who are living there now.

And btw, check your geography, Belgium isn't Germany. In Belgium we also speak Dutch as native language, not German.