I have a PROBLEM

[D_JustinBatebieb]

Ok some background about myself. I am 25 and lost my virginity around 16 and have been with my fair share of girls. My problem is I have NEVER that's right NEVER had an orgasm while having sex. I can rub one out after, so I would usually remove the condom and ejaculate on there back, stomach, etc. I can stay erect for as long as I want which is great, so I never really worried about not getting off, I'm happy as long as the girl gets her's.

I find my penis is just not that sensitive which isn't a big deal for me because I know what I need to do to get myself off and can get it done quickly. So when I pull out it only takes a few seconds to cum and the girls never notice.

So that's the main problem, the next problem is what really prompted me to stop in here and see what others think. The girl I'm currently dating, who is everything I'm looking for, wont do/allow me to do certain things ex. take the condom off and ejaculate on her. So what I have been doing the past month or so that we have been physical is just straight up fake orgasms. Yea I know it's crazy I put on an act, noises, body movements etc. Then quickly dispose of the condom before she can notice its empty.

I'm really started to get frustrated. I have tried all different positions, no masturbating for two weeks(we had sex several times during those two weeks).

I feel like I have let this charade go on to long and I can't tell her about it now. I'm thinking my only option is to break up with her and find a girl willing to be a little less proper in the bedroom. I really like this girl and would hate to have it end like this but it has come to the point where I have know idea what else to do.

Would love to her some opinons from guys who may have this problem and girls how I should approach this situation of possible talking to my girl about it.

 

[UKPianoBoy]

My last girlfriend was a porn star. Tantalising as she was, I could not ejaculate right away with her.

 

[D_wvhgstgw]

just be honest with her. you know sit down tell her the truth.. i know it sounds cliche but its worth a shot. bring honest helps lay all the cards on the table. if she really likes you she'll understand and you guys can make it work... nice photos by the way

 

[erratic]

I feel like I have let this charade go on to long and I can't tell her about it now. I'm thinking my only option is to break up with her and find a girl willing to be a little less proper in the bedroom. I really like this girl and would hate to have it end like this but it has come to the point where I have know idea what else to do.

Dude, it's clear that you know what you have to do, but you don't want to do it.

You have to tell her. You owe it to her.

Tell her she's beautiful, tell her she turns you on, tell her it's not just with her that you've had this issue, acknowledge that you should have brought this up right a long time ago, but tell her the truth. If she budges, then fantastic. You'll have both learned something. If she refuses to budge you can let her know that if she won't compromise you need to find someone who will...apologize again for not mentioning the issue as soon as it came up, and give her some time. Either she'll realize that she has to compromise in the bedroom, or she won't...until a few more guys threaten to dump her for the same reason.

Either way, you may not feel like Superman for telling her the truth, but you owe it to her. This is one of those times when being a gentleman means risking some tears.

As for your orgasm problem...are you getting enough foreplay? There are lots of men who can't cum without being teased along. Do you masturbate with an iron grip? You may need to loosed up on that - permanently - if you want your penis to get used to coming inside a mouth/vagina/butt. Thing is, if you can masturbate to orgasm someone else should be able to masturbate you to orgasm...unless you've gotten used to the particular and/or jackhammer-like way that you do it (most likely), unless through some kind of accident or surgical error you've lost a pile of sensation in your dick (less likely), or unless every single person you've been with is just terrible at sex (least likely).

Anyway, good luck dude.

 

[open501s]

I use to have this problem. I also had to fake orgasms.

I would tell my partners that I'm "cum shy".

You could try to save your load up for a few days before you and her play together.

 

[parchissi]

From a similar thread with this issue - it seems that guys who jerk off regularly seem to have an issue with being able to cum during sex. For what its worth.......

 

[RalDudeHangin]

I've experienced this before. What I found to work was experimenting with different positions. But not just the positions, try different angles in the same position. For example, when we do it missionary, I position myself so that I'm "riding high" so I can feel her pubic bone on the top part of my shaft. i.e., rather tahn being face to face, I'm almost looking over the top of her head to really put pressure on my shaft. That extra sensation does it for me. If I don't "ride high" I have a tuff time cumming.

ALso, if you're a hard and fast thruster, try theexact opposite. Try slow and easy motions. Try slowly pulling out and concentrate on the sensation of the head just going in. Push all the way in and hold for a second. Slowly pull out and repeat.

 

[blondboyscoutTX]

Does a vagina feel better than your hand? Real question....

 

[D_ghjih]

Maybe using condoms is only making things worse? They do desensitize you even more when you are wearing them. It always took me forever to cum when I was using a condom. Maybe try another contraceptive method with her and see what happens?

 

[Chaotica]

Do you masturbate while sitting down? Lying down on your back? Lying facedown?

 

[Frodo46888]

I don't pretend to know much about women, but if a guy told me he could cum great by himself but that I couldn't excite him enough to cum, I sure wouldn't feel good about that. I wonder if the issue is the condom. As mentioned above, they can interfere with sensitivity. Maybe other guys here can recommend a brand or type that can stimulate you more.

 

[Rikter8]

Try a thinner condom with more sensitivity - or masturbate with the condom on.
If not, like the other said...

Be honest and upfront. If she's not willing to get you off as you are her, then it isn't workin.

 

[D_Sam Rockswell]

I've had this problem off and on before. Do you exercise regularly? Sometimes its a matter of blood flow coupled with your own sexual preferences. Is there enough fresh air flowing in the room/where ever your doing it? I've sometimes had trouble because of humidity. It could even be from dehydration. Do ya drink enough water and get a good amount of vitamins from your food?

 

[xxuxu]

Will her hand or mouth do the trick?

 

[UKPianoBoy]

Does a vagina feel better than your hand? Real question....

The better question is does either feel better after you sucked yourself off down to your balls. Any thoughts?

 

[UKPianoBoy]

Maybe using condoms is only making things worse? They do desensitize you even more when you are wearing them. It always took me forever to cum when I was using a condom. Maybe try another contraceptive method with her and see what happens?

Brilliant plan. Hopefully, she follows the system well or he will end up marrying the lousy lay once she is pregnant.

 

[D_wvhgstgw]

The better question is does either feel better after you sucked yourself off down to your balls. Any thoughts?

do you realky play the piano? if si how long?

 

[oralslut464]

I have a <Masters Degree in Piano Performance and teach music. Performed at Carnagie Hall in NYC in 1984. Gershwins "Rhapsody in Blue" with the Concert Band from my college -= Swinney Conservatory of Music - Central Methodist College.

 

[TGhotinABQ]

I do not no the name of the product, but just find your local adult book store and ask, they'll know right away -- anyhow its a gel that you can rub on the head of your cock and as it gets warmer "while in your condom" the sensitive heightens and you'll blow faster than you thought possible... Check and lets us know...

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

One other thing. I know LPSG is a good sounding board for what you're going through, but you almost might want to talk to a professional in your area. Assuming that you are healthy enough for sex and have had no health complications worth noting, you do have about nine good years piled up with sexual frustration. Pent-up jizz plus having to figure out what's going on with you plus exploring why plus having to fake orgasms plus how to talk about your problem with a partner equals an incredible amount of tension that you deserve beatification for dealing with thus far on your own.

Maybe just having another voice in the room and ear to listen to you will help explore an underlying issue, if there is one. If you don't feel comfortable seeking out a counselor to help, why not your family doctor? If cost is an issue, try a sliding-scale fee or low-income community mental health center that will charge only premised upon your ability to pay. Either way, it's just one more place to turn to.

Good luck.