Interracial??

[Mysterygirl]

So I have never dated a guy or been intimate with a guy that is the same race as me. I married a Hispanic guy and though that went sour I am still drawn to the magnetism of being with someone of a different race.
How do other people feel about interracial relationships?
Have you ever been involved in a interracial relationship?
How did the experience compare to a relationship with someone of the same race?
What were some problems you encountered?
If you haven't been in an interracial relationship would you consider it?
Do you feel that interracial relationships carry a taboo in today's society?

 

[mexdude]

As odd at it would seem, i dont seem to be found very attractive by women "of my own race" (meaning the average mexican women), but i do seem to get more luck with girls with asian features, girls with white skin, and blondes, why?, i dnt know, i guess thats my luck

 

[flame boy]

Being in an interracial relationship is no different to being in any other kind of relationship. The skin colour of the people involved should not be a factor for any issues or drama and if there are people who take exception with it they should really haul their asses in to the 21st century.

 

[Drifterwood]

I have found race to be far less important than cultural and social backgrounds.

I'll explain that further if you want me to.

 

[Mysterygirl]

I would love to hear more on what you have to say. I probably didn't word my intro as eloquently as I could have but I would like to know how people feel about the topic.

 

[haulthat]

Should, will, and have are three entirely different beast. Should race mater, no. Does race matter as much as it did 100 years ago, absolutely not. Does it still matter to a lot of people, hell yes. Ignoring that fact is optimistic at best. One of my friends said he will never date another black girl, not because he isn't into them, but because relationships are too much trouble on their own and family drama is too much to add. Do I think that is pathetic, yes. Do I have to live with the kinda family shit that he deals with, no. It is a personal decision but I feel you should do what you want with who you love. Any sacrifices that may be needed are worth it if you actually love that person.

Being in an interracial relationship is no different to being in any other kind of relationship. The skin colour of the people involved should not be a factor for any issues or drama and if there are people who take exception with it they should really haul their asses in to the 21st century.

 

[Drifterwood]

On one level, you can just look at this website. Race, colour, creed, sex, orientation they don't have to play any part in whether you get on with someone.

But liking someone isn't necessarily the same as finding someone sexually attractive, and finding someone sexually attractive doesn't mean that you will have a great relationship.

So, if we are talking serious relationships, then I would say that being happy with someone on a day to day basis is the most important thing. I have found that race is not something that drives wedges between people. Attitudes to life, sex, money, family, children, politics; these are the things that push people apart. Your social and cultural background affect your views on these things far more than your colour or race. That is my experience.

 

[cece]

I have found race to be far less important than cultural and social backgrounds.

I absolutely agree. At the end of the day, it's whether the couple and their families are able to embrace the cultural, social and even religious differences of your partner because they impact such a big part of your lives.

I think people who are looking for life long partners are essentially looking for someone they can really connect with on all levels. The bigger the differences, the more work the relationship requires. I've been in an interracial relationship with a man who was a different race, different culture, different social background, different nationality, and it took a lot of effort. Love sometimes just isn't enough. You need strength and resolve too.

Often in a relationship, you're not dealing with just your partner alone, but with all the values and expectations that are are heaped on by your family and society as well. We'd like to think that society has evolved into one that is tolerant and accepting of all race, color or creed. But that is not always the case, especially in situations where the relationship starts to get personal. Ideally, we want and need the support of our family and friends, but they may not always give it to you. That's where you really need to be strong. All relationships bring their own set of challenges, and interracial relationships just make it more complex. I am not against it, because these relationships can be be an eye-opener and deeply rewarding, but I think you really need to go into it with a certain level of maturity, understanding and strength to be able to make it work.

 

[sodominsane]

I would love to hear more on what you have to say. I probably didn't word my intro as eloquently as I could have but I would like to know how people feel about the topic.

i am a white male, russain decent, about 90 percent of the women i have been with are black girls. yeah yeah.....i know it shouldnt matter but to me it does.....when i walk into a room i check out all the black chicks....if i dont find any atractive only then do i start scanning for white chicks......being in a relationship...well people are people...you get differnt types in all cultures......

however i just love the way black girls look.....especally if they have natuaral hair, afro, dreads twisties....love putting my hand in it and the smooth brown skin under my hands.....soft lips...

and ah the booty so wonderful i think it should have its oun thread.

 

[wallyj84]

I don't trust interracial relationships. I think that the majority of them are done for the wrong reasons.

Which is a funny opinion for me to have considering that all of my relationships have been interracial.

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

ive had several interracial relationships, I'm attracted to all women who are beautifull so race isn't really an issue but it does play a role.

I am disgusted though by couples who are together because of prejudices.

 

[kit_kat]

I prefer white guys because they tend to have more angular facial features, I also like guys of other races who have the same kind of bone structure, it's all about looks for me. I find sharp, angular features more "masculine" and that turns me on. Obviously not all white guys have those features, but basically I find it a turn-off if a guy has a "soft" face, I am also attracted to very butch women. There was a guy I knew who I thought was perfect except I thought he "looked like me" and I just couldn't get it up. I guess I want my opposite in terms of looks. I do want similar philosophies and outlook on life though. My interracial relationships have not been any different from the same race ones. I guess I just want a hot manly man with a big dick, who is nice and also smart.

 

[Drifterwood]

I don't trust interracial relationships. I think that the majority of them are done for the wrong reasons.

I've seen you say this before Wally, can you explain again?

I went to a very international School and University. Having lots of different ethnicities was completely normal for me and though whities like me were the majority, it was more about peer groups than races.

Plenty of so called multi cultural communities have never really made it to being peer groups etc, so I can understand there being issues where communities are divided. But this was never my personal experience and it continues not to be in my working life. I am far more in my comfort zone with an intelligent African business woman in China, than a single white mum in public housing in Wales.

 

[D_Edwin Eatser]

Had a black mistress for a couple of years in my last marriage, wasn't just sex and we loved each other although for various reasons neither of us wanted to leave our partners. I found the fact she was a different colour, from a different social and cultural background and much younger very exciting, as well as her sheer uninhibited sexuality. It was a very happy period of my life, and I learnt something from our relationship - being with her showed me some of the prejudice that still exists towards non-white people. Although we're no longer lovers we keep in touch and she's met my new wife, and they got on fine.

 

[aajjxx]

I'm in an interracial relationship. Does this make me a bad person? Shallow? Materialistic? Should I stick with my own kind? My own kind not only racially, but the same body type as me? As a man am I allowed to have a preference? We need Chantilly to weigh in here...and tell us whom we should be attracted to and whom we shouldn't.

 

[ConstantComment]

I am black and am dating a white guy. Me ex husband is white. All my longterm relationships were with white men with the exception of one. I grew up in the white suburbs; went to white schools with the excpetion of undergrad (my parents were hoping that I would find a black husband there).

Among other blacks, I have always been accused of acting like a white girl; talking like one and engaging in social acitivities that white girls do. There comes a point when you just say fuck it to all of it.

Here in Europe the only people who know that I am black are most of the other Americans; but the guy I'm dating now is American and said he had no idea. He did ask after a few dates.

For me, it is more of a problem that I date black men. For one, I feel as if I attract a certain type. The poor boy who makes good professionally; has somehow come to terms with the fact that he will never be able to date a white woman (so a fair skinned black woman is second best) and I find that my family gets more involved that I would like; and somehow these guys like having that direct and special relationship with my family, to the point where I experience competitive loyalties.

As they say, you don't have to eat the whole pot of soup to know that it's salty. My family refuses to change their ways, citing their right to be friends with whomever they choose, so I just can't be bothered chacing those kinds of situations again. As they say life's too short......

 

[wallyj84]

I've seen you say this before Wally, can you explain again?

I went to a very international School and University. Having lots of different ethnicities was completely normal for me and though whities like me were the majority, it was more about peer groups than races.

Plenty of so called multi cultural communities have never really made it to being peer groups etc, so I can understand there being issues where communities are divided. But this was never my personal experience and it continues not to be in my working life. I am far more in my comfort zone with an intelligent African business woman in China, than a single white mum in public housing in Wales.

I've just encountered too many people who are dating interracially because they want to "date up", have self hatred issues with their own race, want to date a stereotype, etc. I just have a negative opinion of it.

I think really my issue is less with people who date interracially than it is with those who exclusively date one race, specifically a race that is not their own. Only dating people within your own race makes a certain amount of sense to me and I'm okay with it, but I've never run into someone who refused to date people of their own race, who I would argue was doing it for a good reason

In the end, it's none of my business who anyone dates. So date whomever you want.

 

[cmk71]

Have very limited experience with interracial dating, not that I am opposed, it's that guys of other other races don't approach me much. But I see nothing wrong with it.

 

[Mysterygirl]

I wasn't meaning to say that I am an exclusive interracial dater or that i have self hate that won't allow me to date black men. The black men in my life, I hold in high regard because they have characteristics that transcend any color line.I was raised with the mindset that I can fall in love or be in a relationship with anyone and my family judges the people I am with based on merit not looks.

 

[Bbucko]

I am far more in my comfort zone with an intelligent African business woman in China, than a single white mum in public housing in Wales.

I find this completely understandable and easily relate it to my own experiences and expectations. It also explains why any hypothetical meet-N-greet of my exes eek would look like a UN meeting but would end up sounding like a really clever book critic's convention.

Of course, there can sometimes be a world of difference between people "in my comfort zone" and those whom I end up fucking: I live for a good challenge sometimes.