Is this wrong?

[DaddiesBoy]

I am 18. The youngest guy I have every done anything with was 36. The first person I lost my virginity to was 45 years old. I'm not sure if my first guy forced me to start liking older guys or if my liking of older guys forced me to find the 45 year. Nonetheless, I like older guys. Naturally, I have never had a boyfriend: 1. because I have come out recently and 2. because it's hard to find one these days that would go for me. Like I said earlier, I'm into older guys. Do you think it's wrong to be thinking about them? Is it wrong to want a boyfriend that is 30 years older than me? I know it would be socially unacceptable in the "straight world" but would I get funny looks? What's your advice?

 

[rtg]

I think do whatever makes you happy If this is what you like..then go for older men, who cares what other people think! I've personally never liked older men and have always gone for men who are around the same age, but mostly younger. Each to their own really I think.

 

[D_Ray_Jing_Hardon]

There is nothing 'wrong' but it will depend on what you want out of the relationship because you going to have very little in common. I suspect that where there is a big age difference then a degree of codependency is playing it's part - but then that is just my opinion :smile:

 

[DaddiesBoy]

meaning what?

 

[D_Jacqueline_Boozann]

Nope, if you and your significant other are enjoying your relationship, it isn't wrong. to hell with what others think: family, community, friends, extended family, and the community. You must be happy, not them.

 

[DaddiesBoy]

Such confusion!

 

[ben3t3y]

Of course it's not wrong. It's happened since the world began: a young man learning from the experience of the older man, who, in his turn, keeps his mind alive to the developing world and the changing attitudes of the next generation. In a lasting relationship there is sadness to come of course, when the older partner dies. What then for the younger ? Probably a period of promiscuity followed by a new partnership or a desire to remain with the memories of the old. But you shouldn't plan that far ahead; just stop worrying and follow your heart. I'm 84. Been there, Done that ! What am I saying - I'm still doing !

 

[Stephenmass]

a 30 year age difference in the beginning I think is fine, nothing wrong. If you are seeking a long term, that 30 year age difference will sneak in. When he is 65, you will only be 35 and both of you will have different sex drives, different financial needs, and different directions in life. He will begin or will definitely show his age, you at 35 say will be probably still really good looking. It has its challenges for sure. I don't think there is anything wrong at all with liking an older man whatsoever or loving for that matter; but a huge age gap as you describe if it lasts, will have it's challenges as he ages into old and you are still very young.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

I am 18. The youngest guy I have every done anything with was 36. The first person I lost my virginity to was 45 years old. I'm not sure if my first guy forced me to start liking older guys or if my liking of older guys forced me to find the 45 year. Nonetheless, I like older guys. Naturally, I have never had a boyfriend: 1. because I have come out recently and 2. because it's hard to find one these days that would go for me. Like I said earlier, I'm into older guys. Do you think it's wrong to be thinking about them? Is it wrong to want a boyfriend that is 30 years older than me? I know it would be socially unacceptable in the "straight world" but would I get funny looks? What's your advice?

i find your repeated use of the word "forced" a bit odd and concerning. and yes i think a 30 year age difference a bit odd, but to each his own. you might want to seek professional help with those two issues.

 

[nailbender]

I'm 54 yrs old and I'm attracted to younger men (20 -40) and I have no problem finding young men that are into older guys. Most of the younger guys I've been with say they prefer a more mature man over guys their own age.
Don't worry what others might think just do what makes you happy.

 

[B_debonair87]

No, not really

I'm not into dudes but I find older men more attractive than guys my age. I'm talking distinguished and fit middle aged men. I think its because that's what I aspire to be like when I'm no longer this young and sexy jock.

 

[D_Judith K Rantz]

i find your repeated use of the word "forced" a bit odd and concerning. and yes i think a 30 year age difference a bit odd, but to each his own. you might want to seek professional help with those two issues.

I agree.

Also, are you sure you actually like older guys or are you just now conditioned to like them because you gave your virginity to a man much older than you?

How is your relationship with your father? A 10-year age difference is one thing, but 25+ years is another one completely (especially at 18). These men could be your father and I find that worrying.

Be attracted to the MAN not just an age. With that being said, this "older man" attraction could very well just be a phase of sorts. Your likes and dislikes are bound to change, as well as you as a person. There is so much that happens in the years between 18 and 25, so I'm sure it's astounding what happens between the ages of 25 and 45.

 

[AlphaMale]

To the OP: No there is nothing wrong with being into older guys (people). Plenty of older people like younger people. Plenty of younger people like older people.

It's the same for "straight" guys too and the whole cougar thing.

Funny anecdotal video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VYG57yFSIk

...I find older men more attractive than guys my age. I'm talking distinguished and fit middle aged men. I think its because that's what I aspire to be like when I'm no longer this young and sexy jock.

I'm bi, and ironically that's exactly what I like older guys and find them more attractive than younger guys or guys my own age. :tongue:

 

[luvmycock]

Like others have said before me, with you being 18 and a guy being 36+ there is little that you would have in common. So I don't see anything long term happening.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

smells like daddy issues

and to answer your question, no, its not wrong as long as everyone is of age and nobody is forcing anything on anyone

 

[southeastone]

Are you (op) not the guy in another thread talking about your hang up on a married guy?? I think the advise on getting some help is bang on fella, you have some issues you need to talk about properly not on an open forum imo

 

[B_debonair87]

This kid totally has daddy issues. I just realized he was the one who made a thread about falling in love with his mentor.

You need to see shrink dude. Falling in love with your mentor or any other older man will not cure your daddy issues.

"I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher, teacher
Anything you had in mind"

 

[Otep]

I've always had a thing for older guys (typically those in their 40s) but it isn't exclusive. There are plenty of younger guys I like as well but it's difficult to find younger guys who share my mindset as far as life goals are concerned and establishing myself permanently (things like buying a home). I find that I tend to have relationship goals that are more easily found in older men than men my own age.

With that said, the age difference is worrying. At this point, being 25, someone in their 40s isn't a huge deal. If they're 40 then the age difference is only 15 years. I can say that it would have been a different story when I was 18 and I imagine that many guys in their 40s may have been attracted to me but would have found very little common ground with me.

 

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

To the OP: No there is nothing wrong with being into older guys (people). Plenty of older people like younger people. Plenty of younger people like older people.

I agree with Alpha, I mean, if you like older guys, then that's what you like. There's nothing wrong with liking something/someone/a type. But, the only thing that resonated with me was your comment about how you lost your virginity. Maybe I simply read the post wrong/ or with my own inflections, but if you feel your drawn to older guys because of something else moving your towards that attraction -- abuse, so on -- then maybe you should look deeper into your attractions.

Most of all, only you can say if something 'isn't right' with what your attracted to...Follow your heart!

 

[DavidDevear]

I am now that guy 25 years on. Open your eyes its a phase not a lasting relationship. When I was 18 to 23ish I used to fancy guys in their 40s (age I am now. Guys just like me confident, sure of who they are, sucessfull and who look after themselves. What's not to be attracted to!) but do I now fancy 65 or 70 year olds not a chance. Why its a phase you envy them as a young man. Do I envy 65 year olds in short - NO!

Not wrong or bad but see it for what it is, coz he may not!

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