Jack This Thread

[Matthew]

There are very severe rules for posting on this thread.

1) You may not deviate from THE TOPIC.

2) Your spelling, grammar and personal hygiene must be *FLAWLESS*.

3) You must have a penis no less than 13.5" long or have a troll account featuring such a person. Or think you know someone who does.

4) If Large Penises are raised, you must support them.

Extra points will be awarded for:

a) Each obsessive response. Remember, the competition is STIFF

b) Successfully selling your product without being detected.

c) True stories of webstalking semi-celebrities.

d) Other things.

Note: Each post on this thread will shift your sexual orientation +1% gay.

 

[GoneA]

so how about those Yankees. didn't Yankee Doodle go to town riding on a pony. i've always wanted a pony; but, i'll settle for a horse. horses smell horrible, though. though rhymes with Dough.

 

[Pecker]

When it was finally removed and examined, Ted Bundy's brain looked like anyone else's.

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

Include two more rules and you'll lots of activity:

(5) You must fabricate a whole new persona when the ones you've used for years get exposed for being frauds.

(6) Post 1000s of messages here and be as cynical and snarky to new posters as possible.

 

[B_HappyHammer1977]

...but with each stroke, it just kept getting harder and harder. The more I tried, the deeper I was in. Before I knew it, I had a ball lodged in and there was nothing I could do about it. In the end I just had to accept a drop ball. Damn those bunkers!

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

I just had pumpkin and chocolate chip pancakes that looked like spiderwebs. They were pretty cute.

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

Hammer, you're wacked, man. I'm gonna use that again.

 

[Matthew]

And, by the way, that's "Jack" as in "Hijack" or "Carjack".

However, a little manual stimulation is always warmly welcomed.

 

[GoneA]

I have a young woman held hostage in my basement. Pick a number between 1 and 5; pick the right number and she'll live, the wrong number and she'll die.

 

[Matthew]

Originally posted by TexAssgirl@Oct 14 2005, 08:38 AM
I just had pumpkin and chocolate chip pancakes that looked like spiderwebs. They were pretty cute.

[post=351693]Quoted post[/post]​

mmmmm ... pancakes.

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by GoneA@Oct 14 2005, 06:23 PM
I have a young woman held hostage in my basement. Pick a number between 1 and 5; pick the right number and she'll live, the wrong number and she'll die.

[post=351750]Quoted post[/post]​

Four!

 

[Lex]

Here's somethin playaz gona find, not at all funny
We takin all ya bitches,
Takin all ya money!!

Jay-Z rated A.G. baby
that's All Good
I'll sink this ball in your hole,
I'm Tiger Woods!!

If the money was the grass
And your ass was tee
When I hit it with this club love
You comin with me!!

Grip you right up under your ass,
Put your back on the wall
Kinda tipsy,
seein' triple,
so I'm fuckin ya ALL!!!

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by madame_zora+Oct 14 2005, 06:37 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(madame_zora &#064; Oct 14 2005, 06:37 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-GoneA@Oct 14 2005, 06:23 PM
I have a young woman held hostage in my basement. Pick a number between 1 and 5; pick the right number and she&#39;ll live, the wrong number and she&#39;ll die.

[post=351750]Quoted post[/post]​

Four&#33;

[post=351756]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

She was a wonderful women.....to bad she&#39;s dead now.....thanks M_Z.......

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

Sounds like Silence of the Lambs - are you gonna make a suit from her skin now?

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by TexAssgirl@Oct 14 2005, 07:26 PM
Sounds like Silence of the Lambs - are you gonna make a suit from her skin now?

[post=351771]Quoted post[/post]​

And eat her liver with Fava beans.....

 

[Matthew]

Originally posted by Alley Blue@Oct 14 2005, 12:31 PM
And eat her liver with Fava beans.....

[post=351776]Quoted post[/post]​

mmmmm ... fava beans

 

[GoneA]

MMMUUUHAHAHAHA.....THE CORRECT NUMBER WAS 3.999998

Now she must DIE&#33;&#33;&#33;

And yes, I will eat her liver with fava beans. and a diet coke.

Too bad Clarice Starling isn&#39;t here....mmmuuuhahaha

 

[GoneA]

Originally posted by TexAssgirl@Oct 14 2005, 07:26 PM
Sounds like Silence of the Lambs - are you gonna make a suit from her skin now?

[post=351771]Quoted post[/post]​

No, b/c I&#39;m sure PETA will complain about that too.

**shakes head and sucks teeth in disgust**

 

[dlcs]

Originally posted by GoneA@Oct 15 2005, 12:12 AM

And yes, I will eat her liver with fava beans. and a diet coke.

[post=351908]Quoted post[/post]​

I always thought it was supposed to be sugar-free lemonade with human liver and fava beans. Did someone screw with my recipe book?

Oh. I have "Atkins For Cannibals." My bad.

 

[Matthew]

Originally posted by GoneA+Oct 14 2005, 11:12 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(GoneA &#064; Oct 14 2005, 11:12 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'>Too bad Clarice Starling isn&#39;t here....mmmuuuhahaha

[post=351908]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b]

Don&#39;t be so sure ... I heard she has a Large Penis

Mmmuuuhahaha&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

Originally posted by GoneA@Oct 14 2005, 11:13 PM
<!--QuoteBegin-TexAssgirl

@Oct 14 2005, 07:26 PM
Sounds like Silence of the Lambs - are you gonna make a suit from her skin now?

[post=351771]Quoted post[/post]​

No, b/c I&#39;m sure PETA will complain about that too.

[post=351909]Quoted post[/post]​

[/quote]
PetA ... your cousin?