Lust

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Drifterwood said:
:wink:

How do you feel if you feel that your partner had or has greater lust for someone else?

That their lust is of lesser importance to them in your relationship than it was with others, albeit that they value other things with you more.

I was with someone recently and it took me a while to understand that her lust was expressed passively until she was the object of my lust. I have been used for one reason and another to lust being wholly and immediately reciprocal. But then I have also enjoyed being the passive object of lust.
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Her lust was expressed passively? You mean she was merely magnetic and not radiating?? I guess everyone is different. Some may be like flowers, merely having color and scent; others may be like creatures, visiting those flowers. Or creatures meeting and struggling one against the other over whose appetite will be satisfied first.

This business of someone having more lust for another, is only one component in a situation with them. In a harem there is a chief wife. If I were chief wife I would not expect to divorce my husband simply because he had appetite for others. But if I were Only wife, I might-- especially if my husband had agreed to make me the Only and was now breaking his word. Breaking your word is always bad.
 
It depends on what you mean by 'together'. I have shared real estate with people of both sexes, including also sometimes sex, for years without trying to compare myself to other partners they may have had or might meet.

Since in your example it's you, mister drifter, and you have a girl in every port, I'd be joining a list anyway. Silly to want to be ranked better than another when I am only as I am. You either enjoy me or you don't. And if you think I waste your time and attention, kindly tell me!
 
helgaleena said:
It depends on what you mean by 'together'. I have shared real estate with people of both sexes, including also sometimes sex, for years without trying to compare myself to other partners they may have had or might meet.
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I get the impression that a lot of guys are different to this.

Not_Punny said:
Lust is definitely what I feel when I'm standing in a shoe store.
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Standing?
 
helgaleena said:
So what? I am not a guy, and in your example it's YOU, not 'a lot of guys'. What would YOU put up with?
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Is it me?

I don't know, probably not a low level of lust. I think as others have said that lust is reciprocal and grows when returned. I imagine the opposite is that it fades and that would be bad news for a relationship.

I am not generally interested in being an object that ticks other people's boxes.
 
Drifterwood said:
Is it me?
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your exact words:

Would it bother you, Helga, if we were together but you knew that I had had greater lust for previous lovers?


Drifterwood said:
I don't know, probably not a low level of lust. I think as others have said that lust is reciprocal and grows when returned. I imagine the opposite is that it fades and that would be bad news for a relationship.

I am not generally interested in being an object that ticks other people's boxes.
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http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/funny-captions-women-have-emotions.jpg

"A lot of guys" would expect it,as lampooned by the above jest.

And lust is an emotion. Emotions are transient. Sure, they'll recur, but also evolve. And they are just one aspect of the total relationship package. So YOU will not stand for less mutual lust than a certain level. Me too. The difference seems to be what that level is, and whether other lustees are allowed.
 
I am a very lusty person overall and it has gotten me into trouble. I love sensual things - smells, tastes, sights, sensations, sounds - I can be quite overcome by it all. Sex combines all those sensations and when I feel sexual lust, I have been known to make some bad choices in the past. When I'm in love - my lust for the my lover can be overwhelming. I have had to learn to self-talk, so that I don't feel too rejected if he doesn't reciprocate as much as I would like him to. But if he does....oh if he does....if he expresses a lust for me that meets my desire - it's amazing. The sex is amazing. The connection is amazing. The power is so strong that I find the lust growing even in the middle of sex. It is the most incredible feeling in the world. But if the lust from his direction lags, or worse seems directed at someone else, *poof* mine is gone. Disappears. He won't get it back.

Sometimes I wish that I was less. I think my life and relationships would be so much easier if I didn't feel this way and didn't have this desire to devour the world.
 
LaFemme said:
I am a very lusty person overall and it has gotten me into trouble. I love sensual things - smells, tastes, sights, sensations, sounds - I can be quite overcome by it all. Sex combines all those sensations and when I feel sexual lust, I have been known to make some bad choices in the past. When I'm in love - my lust for the my lover can be overwhelming. I have had to learn to self-talk, so that I don't feel too rejected if he doesn't reciprocate as much as I would like him to. But if he does....oh if he does....if he expresses a lust for me that meets my desire - it's amazing. The sex is amazing. The connection is amazing. The power is so strong that I find the lust growing even in the middle of sex. It is the most incredible feeling in the world. But if the lust from his direction lags, or worse seems directed at someone else, *poof* mine is gone. Disappears. He won't get it back.

Sometimes I wish that I was less. I think my life and relationships would be so much easier if I didn't feel this way and didn't have this desire to devour the world.
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I can totally relate to this. All of this.
 
I believe that it is in our human nature to "lust" after people or certain things. For example, even though a person is in a relationship, it is just normal to look at someone who is not your partner and think they are attractive and to have lusty thoughts about. No harm, no foul in that. And as for the certain things part... I tend to lust after purses, or Italian food.
 
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