#me Too?

[AtYourCervix10]

Do you think/feel #Metoo has affected your dating/work life?

also, do you think it's affected porn?

 

[bigbill810]

I think it's had the wrong effect. I think all reports of rape/sexual abuse should be investigated. However, it's very much like the feminism movement. It's become a way to torture men, and not being used for it's purpose.

You simply can't just believe everyone at their word; since there are more who will lie to get ahead, than there are people who value honesty.

It's a shame really. These movements were designed with good intentions in mind, but ruined by greed.

That being said, I don't think it will affect porn as pretty much everything is recorded. As for work, it hasn't affected me personally...but I can see where it can definitely be used for bad intentions.

 

[Hatt_101]

No it hasn't affected my dating or school life at all. I work on campus and that has not been affected at all either.

Has it affected porn? Probably but it's a benefit because there definitely things that happen on some sets that some people think they have to put up with to get work with everyone knowing they can speak up now it makes for a better environment for the performers that may be affected.

 

[1079855]

Someone like me who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, meeting women, dating, and getting sex was already hard enough. #MeToo has made it even harder for me.
What's funny though is that # is known as the pound sign. So shouldn't it called PoundMeToo?

 

[batnballs67]

Someone like me who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, meeting women, dating, and getting sex was already hard enough. #MeToo has made it even harder for me.
What's funny though is that # is known as the pound sign. So shouldn't it called PoundMeToo?

That is ironic and unintentional!

 

[deleted897665]

I think it's had the wrong effect. I think all reports of rape/sexual abuse should be investigated. However, it's very much like the feminism movement. It's become a way to torture men, and not being used for it's purpose.

You simply can't just believe everyone at their word; since there are more who will lie to get ahead, than there are people who value honesty.

. . . and used for political posturing, as we have seen. We men are the devil these days.

I told a female co-worker I liked her perfume, and could she tell me the name so I could purchase for my wife. She told me, no problem. Another woman overheard, and told me I shouldn’t ask since that could be mis-interpreted. The world is f-ed up biggie today.

 

[AtYourCervix10]

I couldn't agree more. I'm relieved I'm not the only one who feels this way. So thank you for your shares. And further, If you as a male, even say it's F-d up nowadays -- people call you a chauvinist, bigot and a misogynist.

Similarly, I have a friend in a writing class who overheard a millennial saying how sexist and offensive "Anchorman: Ron Burgundy" was. He was serious. No sense of irony or sarcasm. This is where we are... and this is how we're evolving.

I just wonder though, with every significant social movement there is a counter movement. I wonder what the counterpoint will be to this. I would love to get a social and behavioral scientists take on this.

It will be something. I dont know yet what it is... but it will be significant.

PS. Your perfume line? if i said that at my office, I could get fired for that. No joke.

. . . and used for political posturing, as we have seen. We men are the devil these days.

I told a female co-worker I liked her perfume, and could she tell me the name so I could purchase for my wife. She told me, no problem. Another woman overheard, and told me I shouldn’t ask since that could be mis-interpreted. The world is f-ed up biggie today.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Here's the thing.. Im a dude that is societally prone to false rape/harassment accusations moreso than other populations of men, but I see #metoo as more of a reactionary symptom of men's problematic tendencies than some sort of witch hunt..its not that I don't feel for the more Aspergery or socially uncalibrated amongst us, but I feel they represent a stark minority to the legions of men whom have historically used such excuses and strawmen to explain away their bad decision making. Yes I do believe there are too many women out there, taking advantage of such a social upheaval to stake their own power claims but I believe 75-90% of all claims could've been avoided had a dude just kept his hands to himself, shut the fuck up about offering unsolicited comments/complements, or simply treated all of the women around them as they would demand a guy treat their mother, sister, or daughter...
The more we as men do this as the default the easier it becomes to identify and oust the opportunistic parties of #metoo.

 

[deleted897665]

^ Dude, you’re talking about logic, manners, everyday commons sense. The accusations should be the anomalies, yet #metoo, in its attempts to gain momentum, makes it sound like the norm, and everyday occurrence. Men. Bad. Evil.

I’m glad I’m married. I pity my sons. Truly, the world is f-ed up.

 

[Sagittarius84]

The accusations should be the anomalies, yet #metoo, in its attempts to gain momentum, makes it sound like the norm, and everyday occurrence.

But that's my point...part of my long standing frustrations with women and girls stem from the fact that I have observed sketchy behavior from men and boys that would drum up valid #metoo complaints that go overlooked, if not sometimes encouraged by the women most in danger of enduring them.I doubt you'll agree but in my experience and observation rapey and/or predatory behavior is the established norm by wide swaths of men, whether they are aware of it or not, and fear of getting caught up in metoo is more indicative of a fear of normalized past actions' reconciliation than the straw woman of an especially dedicated and vengeful chick out to bring a man down.

 

[AtYourCervix10]

well, based on the incidences you're raising, i hope if a woman experiences this kind of behavior, she now knows to go to the police. To me, this would be an obvious and logical reaction. However for whatever reason, women have not felt comfortable going to the police. For me? If I am accosted and threatened, I go to the police and report it. I don't wait ten years and report an incident ten years AFTER it happened -- Because it now seems fashionable.

Now even liberals seem to regret their rush to judgment as they preyed upon their own.

Al Franken's sexual assault is what #MeToo was created to address and now liberals feel victimized by it

At least he can now portray himself as a victim. I'm curious who is the victim here? Franken or the women who claim he assaulted them? I wish the media would make up their minds. I love when liberals are hoisted on their own petard.

I am curious why there has been no #MeToo fallout in the porn community -- where it would most obviously seem to exist, right? I guess that only proves my unwelcome theory that women in porn are NOT actually victims, like the media would like you to believe. That they actually WANT work to get paid to have sex. And further, women in porn get paid 3 times more than men -- to do the same job. Talk about gender pay inequality...

Can you imagine some tatted porn dude in a trucker hat and a tank top picketing and showing up on CNN because he wants equal pay as women in the porn biz? ha!

But that's my point...part of my long standing frustrations with women and girls stem from the fact that I have observed sketchy behavior from men and boys that would drum up valid #metoo complaints that go overlooked, if not sometimes encouraged by the women most in danger of enduring them.I doubt you'll agree but in my experience and observation rapey and/or predatory behavior is the established norm by wide swaths of men, whether they are aware of it or not, and fear of getting caught up in metoo is more indicative of a fear of normalized past actions' reconciliation than the straw woman of an especially dedicated and vengeful chick out to bring a man down.

 

[deleted897665]

I doubt you'll agree but in my experience and observation rapey and/or predatory behavior is the established norm by wide swaths of men, whether they are aware of it or not, and fear of getting caught up in metoo is more indicative of a fear of normalized past actions' reconciliation than the straw woman of an especially dedicated and vengeful chick out to bring a man down.

Wait! What? Dude, are you kidding me? I don’t know where you’re from, or where you grew up, or how you were raised, but that is NOT any established norm where I came from, and it’s irresponsible comments like that that contribute to the beliefs that men support this behavior. I, for one, do NOT, and find this post rediculous and offensive. I never treated a woman in any appropriate behavior, because I was raised to respect women. Again, don’t know what environment you came from, but your observations were certainly not my experience.

As you disclaim, you speak for yourself here. No man supports that behavior.

 

[bigbill810]

Wait! What? Dude, are you kidding me? I don’t know where you’re from, or where you grew up, or how you were raised, but that is NOT any established norm where I came from, and it’s irresponsible comments like that that contribute to the beliefs that men support this behavior. I, for one, do NOT, and find this post rediculous and offensive. I never treated a woman in any appropriate behavior, because I was raised to respect women. Again, don’t know what environment you came from, but your observations were certainly not my experience.

As you disclaim, you speak for yourself here. No man supports that behavior.

Definitely agree here. "Rapey and predatory" behavior is not the norm for myself or most any man I know. Sounds like a narrative pushed by a certain political faction...

 

[deleted897665]

Definitely agree here. "Rapey and predatory" behavior is not the norm for myself or most any man I know. Sounds like a narrative pushed by a certain political faction...

Absolutely. Welcome to 2019.

 

[Sagittarius84]

However for whatever reason, women have not felt comfortable going to the police. For me? If I am accosted and threatened, I go to the police and report it.

I can see why not understanding what happens differently with women in such a situation could produce your doubt.

At least he can now portray himself as a victim. I'm curious who is the victim here? Franken or the women who claim he assaulted them?

Shitty hill to die upon..Franken is no marauding monster, but it doesn't take a genuis or a monk to see the possible problematic nature of fake grabbing at a woman's breasts you are not intimate with.

I am curious why there has been no #MeToo fallout in the porn community -- where it would most obviously seem to exist, right?

There has(See James Deen), and lots of stars are speaking out about conditions and expectations on set that put them at a disadvantaged position...especially when everybody thinks the pay is so lucrative they should just shut up and take it.

Sounds like you have a gripe with specific equal pay, that you're soothing with apathy towards a supposed beneficiary.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Wait! What? Dude, are you kidding me? I don’t know where you’re from, or where you grew up, or how you were raised, but that is NOT any established norm where I came from, and it’s irresponsible comments like that that contribute to the beliefs that men support this behavior. I, for one, do NOT, and find this post rediculous and offensive. I never treated a woman in any appropriate behavior, because I was raised to respect women. Again, don’t know what environment you came from, but your observations were certainly not my experience.

As you disclaim, you speak for yourself here. No man supports that behavior.

im not judging intention, Im speaking to incidence, and I think you're a bit full of yourself if you dont think any action you've perpetrated in the past didn't specifically make women uncomfortable based purely upon your own intention or lack of a woman telling you so...
Im not a predator, but I can name plenty of actions of mine pre 20s post 6' tall that could've made women uncomfortable that I would consciously shy away from now.
You say "no man supports that behavior", so tell me exactly, which man dictates what behavior is predatory or not?

 

[Sagittarius84]

Sounds like a narrative pushed by a certain political faction...

Trust me, theres a lot of Dems I wouldn't mind tossing into the creepy pile..good riddance to a Franken that should've known better than to compromise his political capital with boyish stupidity, Creepy Uncle Joe needs to keep his hands to himself and not speak or refer to another woman of color until he gets right with Anita Hill...i dont care your party affiliation, GTFO if you cant or wont control yourself.

 

[bigbill810]

Trust me, theres a lot of Dems I wouldn't mind tossing into the creepy pile..good riddance to a Franken that should've known better than to compromise his political capital with boyish stupidity, Creepy Uncle Joe needs to keep his hands to himself and not speak or refer to another woman of color until he gets right with Anita Hill...i dont care your party affiliation, GTFO if you cant or wont control yourself.

You'll get no argument about that from 95%+ of men out there. Ask around, most men would be more than happy to beat the living tar out of any man who rapes a woman.

The reason I brought up the political aspect is because that political party controls the media, which controls the narrative. That narrative does more harm than good.

 

[deleted897665]

im not judging intention, Im speaking to incidence, and I think you're a bit full of yourself if you dont think any action you've perpetrated in the past didn't specifically make women uncomfortable based purely upon your own intention or lack of a woman telling you so...
Im not a predator, but I can name plenty of actions of mine pre 20s post 6' tall that could've made women uncomfortable that I would consciously shy away from now.
You say "no man supports that behavior", so tell me exactly, which man dictates what behavior is predatory or not?

Well, that’s mighty interesting.

I NEVER used my physical presence to influence or pressure a woman into anything. I have never met a woman who felt she had to give in to anything I was proposing. No means no. That said, I would say we have all, women and men alike, awakened some mornings, or even years and decades later, and thought WTF was I thinking last night? That does not give someone the right to now go back and claim they were forced into an act they wish they hadn’t.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Ask around, most men would be more than happy to beat the living tar out of any man who rapes a woman.

That's a really low bar to aspire to...im pretty sure there are legions of rapists that would beat the living tar out of any man that rapes their mother, sister, or daughter as well...Its also indicative of a restrictive, unnecessarily binary look at what #metoo is all about...by your very words, whether you intend to or not, you're making this about the hyperbolic rape of a woman situation, when #metoo is about anybody utilizing often passive aggressive or low-key methods to get sexual things out of people. You're revved up to go lynch some figurative rapist, but how do you feel about the boss that gives no positive feedback or assessments to female employees that don't dress in a way that tantalizes his eyes..the doctor that calculates attractiveness into their decision as to which surgical interns get to shadow them on educational procedures and processes..the college professor that gives extra attention or leeway to attractive students.how about the creepy grandpa or uncle that can't help to make comments about the physical appearance of teenaged female relatives under the guise of concern? Tell me you're just as ready to go out and beat all men and women that leverage their power and influence subtly against another's sexual and romantic selectivity, and I'll almost statistically guarantee you bloody knuckles and/or broken hands before you get out of your immediate family/friend circle...
And no Im not accusing them of intent to perpetrate such actions, im saying they have become so normalized that they have become whimsical memories of our past that people are reluctant to unpack or denounce after the fact. My conscience is clear as far as intent of my past actions and I have no problem accepting accountibility and seeking knowledge today for. actions i may have inadvertently perpetrated in the past...So I have no reason to dismiss or fear #metoo..