Nice guys

[Gisella]

Well..I like nice guys and enjoy nice guys but they have some other personality traits that are attractive as matching my own traits...nice is one of many traits he has.

I do think we have to be objective and grab the snake by the head and get to know ourselves, our strenght and work to improve our short falls...but we have to get real as facing issues..because does not make sense many males complaining about this "women dont like nice guys thing"...

 

[DarkPhantom]

Well..I like nice guys and enjoy nice guys but they have some other personality traits that are attractive as matching my own traits...nice is one of many traits he has.

I do think we have to be objective and grab the snake by the head and get to know ourselves, our strenght and work to improve our short falls...but we have to get real as facing issues..because does not make sense many males complaining about this "women dont like nice guys thing"...

Yepp, think there is more to it then just beeing nice, but of course some do feel attracted to the "mysterious & dangerous" people. But I think it's far from beeing everyone :wink: :smile:.

Let's get mysterious :tongue:

 

[shannon87]

its always best to be the nice guy without a doubt. though i gotta say i've had my fair share of the bad guys and even if it seems like they get more guys don't ever try and act like one. just be yourself and you'll find the right one. you'd swear i was doctor phil or something sounding like that lol

 

[nugebow1]

All I can say is get used to it. I would like to meet the guy who said "nice guys finish last" and first shake his hand, then punch him in the nose. Cause he is exactly right.
I am 41 years old and was brought up and raised to believe 3 things...
1. If you are nice to people, they will be nice to you.
2. Even if people are mean to you, be nice to them and it will pay dividends in the end.
3. It's better to turn the other cheek.
All this has gotten me is a lifetime of getting my feelings hurt, and my heart broken repeatedly. It happens every day in one way, shape or form.
My advice to you is this...Look out for yourself, becuase nobody else will. And trust nobody. EVER.
This goes for just about everything. Dating, friends, work, ect....

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

Girls like bad boys, women like nice men, I think this is in part because girls confuse cockiness and arrogance with confidence. Stay a nice guy, in the end you'll find someone who'll appreciate you for who you are, the kind of woman who'd be attracted to a bad guy is often one who has her own set of issues therefore isn't that much fun to be with - lack of self esteem, need to be punished, she might deny this but really why would any woman pick an arsehole if she didn't have these issues?

 

[Knockernail]

I´m not a nice guy and i´m alone. :biggrin1:

One day i´ll find someone, or not; i think it doesn´t depend on how i am but on what that one is looking for.

:smile:

 

[Pommie]

There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. We all like people to be confident and yes, arrogance does seem to work as well. However, I don't believe that arrogance is going to win over confidence and humility when looking for the right relationship. But then again I don't believe that one can go looking for the perfect relationship. Just be happy with who you are and if that means that you're nice and not particularly proactive with regards to the ladies then fine. But if you want to do something about it (which you appear to want to) then really look at yourself and ask what you have to offer other people. Then see your situation not of one in which you have to go and find the girl but one in which the girls are fools for not wanting to be with you. With that shift in self-perception a change happens because no longer are you the "nice guy who never gets lucky" but the "great catch that the girls are missing out on being with".

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

You be an asshole and you will end up with a bitch of a woman. She many appear nice to begin with but she wont put up with shit for to long before she has had enough and leaves.

You be a nice guy and it may (or may not) take a little longer but when you do find a woman she will appreciate you for bing a gentleman and a nice guy and she will treat you accordingly

 

[Principessa]

There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. True But if you want to do something about it (which you appear to want to) then really look at yourself and ask what you have to offer other people. Then see your situation not of one in which you have to go and find the girl but one in which the girls are fools for not wanting to be with you. Yadda, yadda, yadda that and 50 cents won't get him a cup of coffee. With that shift in self-perception a change happens because no longer are you the "nice guy who never gets lucky" but the "great catch that the girls are missing out on being with". Hmm, okay maybe I missed something, but that still leaves him alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can empathize totally with the OP. I am almost 41; and I've been dating since I was 19; and you know what . . . I still want the fairy tale!

I don't just want, I deserve a man who is kind, decent, honest, intelligent, funny, respectful of me and my needs, single, and of course, straight. I am begining to think that the last of this model died around the same time soda stopped being sold in 64 ounce glass bottles. Oh, being well hung is merely gravy, thats why it's not on my list of must haves.

He doesn't have to sprinkle rose petals from the front door to the bedroom. Truth be told if I ever did date a man that romantic I would probably pass out from the shock of it. Much like Carrie Bradshaw on Sex in the City when she was dating the character played by Mikhail Barishnikov.

FYI - That nonsense about it happens when you aren't looking is just that...nonsense. I don't know anybody male or female that has found love, lust, or even infatuation when they weren't looking. It's probably an urban myth, like crocodiles in the sewers of NYC. Nobody gets anything in this world without working for it.

That's my post Valentine's Day rant

njqt466

 

[naughty]

There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. True But if you want to do something about it (which you appear to want to) then really look at yourself and ask what you have to offer other people. Then see your situation not of one in which you have to go and find the girl but one in which the girls are fools for not wanting to be with you. Yadda, yadda, yadda that and 50 cents won't get him a cup of coffee. With that shift in self-perception a change happens because no longer are you the "nice guy who never gets lucky" but the "great catch that the girls are missing out on being with". Hmm, okay maybe I missed something, but that still leaves him alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can empathize totally with the OP. I am almost 41; and I've been dating since I was 19; and you know what . . . I still want the fairy tale!

I don't just want, I deserve a man who is kind, decent, honest, intelligent, funny, respectful of me and my needs, single, and of course, straight. I am begining to think that the last of this model died around the same time soda stopped being sold in 64 ounce glass bottles. Oh, being well hung is merely gravy, thats why it's not on my list of must haves.

He doesn't have to sprinkle rose petals from the front door to the bedroom. Truth be told if I ever did date a man that romantic I would probably pass out from the shock of it. Much like Carrie Bradshaw on Sex in the City when she was dating the character played by Mikhail Barishnikov.

FYI - That nonsense about it happens when you aren't looking is just that...nonsense. I don't know anybody male or female that has found love, lust, or even infatuation when they weren't looking. It's probably an urban myth, like crocodiles in the sewers of NYC. Nobody gets anything in this world without working for it.

That's my post Valentine's Day rant

njqt466

LOL! NJQT none of us DESERVE anything. When we are blessed enough to find love it is a gift that we should cherish. It may be for a season it may be for a lifetime. I think one of the problems is that since we as women have now entered into the workplace and are achieving in many different areas we take that same go getter attitude into relationships .Like it or not. Momma is right. Men like to do the chosing but we do the accepting. A result of the current aggresiveness among women is that many men have been spoiled and have taken on the passive role which most of us ladies find very frustrating. I have learned though that no matter if the man is an extrovert or an introvert, they very much have their own preferences. We may not like it when the man we prefer doesnt prefer us, but that is how it is. We cant squirrel ourselves away but chasing doesnt do it either. My question is... who are the good boys going after and that may determine their results.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

Be who you are. Plain and simple. Reminds me of and old Bowie song called Who Can i be now? A song about a man who acts like everyone but who he really is just to find a woman. Finally a woman finds him and wants him and he isnt sure who he is and crys who can i be now that you found me? Your story was mine for many years. It worked out for me and it will work out for you.........:smile:

 

[Shelby]

it's a conundrum.
​

 

[Principessa]

LOL! NJQT none of us DESERVE anything. When we are blessed enough to find love it is a gift that we should cherish. It may be for a season it may be for a lifetime.My question is... who are the good boys going after and that may determine their results.

That's easy! The good boys get snatched up by the evil bitchy women. The women who break their hearts and leave them a damaged shell. Thats who the nice/good men date and marry.

The good girls like myself get trampled into the dust. Or worse...we end up with a closet full of ugly bridesmaids dresses. I have 3 myself plus 1 maid of honor gown. It's okay though, I find sleeping with one of the brides brothers on the wedding night to be excellent therapy. :biggrin1: :tongue: :biggrin1:

 

[naughty]

That's easy! The good boys get snatched up by the evil bitchy women. The women who break their hearts and leave them a damaged shell. Thats who the nice/good men date and marry.

The good girls like myself get trampled into the dust. Or worse...we end up with a closet full of ugly bridesmaids dresses. I have 3 myself plus 1 maid of honor gown. It's okay though, I find sleeping with one of the brides brothers on the wedding night to be excellent therapy. :biggrin1: :tongue: :biggrin1:

Sister girl!

EXACTLY! You need to read a book I just found. its called WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES! It cant hurt!

 

[B_hungnate]

Being nice is good and all but some guys are so nice they're pushovers and have no edge, like they always try to do what other people want because they're trying to be so nice. But you can't bend over backward for people all the time because then you don't respect yourself. I think what I'm saying is chicks want a guy who is nice and respects them and is not an asshole but is independent and has some cock 'n balls if you know what I mean. At least that's what I think.

Okay, so what's wrong with this picture:

I'm a genuine, honest and caring guy and get told that I'm "too nice" all of the time by my female friends. I've only had one serious girlfriend and not had sexual intercourse in a couple of years. I just can't seem to bring myself to act the arrogant guy that I'm not which seems to attract women.

I know there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance but I just can't seem to find it.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Well im not sure but there sure seems to be a shotage of nice guys here in Sydney.

Ive done the bad boy thing and it gets old very quiclky :smile:

 

[viking1]

That's easy! The good boys get snatched up by the evil bitchy women. The women who break their hearts and leave them a damaged shell. Thats who the nice/good men date and marry.

The good girls like myself get trampled into the dust. Or worse...we end up with a closet full of ugly bridesmaids dresses. I have 3 myself plus 1 maid of honor gown. It's okay though, I find sleeping with one of the brides brothers on the wedding night to be excellent therapy. :biggrin1: :tongue: :biggrin1:

I disagree. Not all men are that way. I'm not.

I like nice ladies myself. I don't care for the evil, bitchy ones.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

Some of these posts remind me of the movie from the 70s or 80s with Dustin Hoffman, Tootsie. We (men and women) intellectually and emotionally may want one thing, but we instinctively respond to another. Perhaps that is why we should try NOT to marry at a young age because we are more driven by hormones and instinct than we are when we are more mature.

I have been called "nice" in one way or another for most of my life. Rarely have I been called "too nice," but I started to wonder if that was the case before I finally fell in love and married. I didn't start acting like an asshole, I simply finally met woman who was in synch with my "nice."

 

[SurferGirlCA]

Hmmmm, as if guys have any better idea about what THEY want. Oh right, a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom. :tongue:

There are different definitions of "nice" and different women want different things (at different times even - sorry guys). Personally, I like a guy who treats me AND others with respect and I don't see anything wrong with that kind of nice. If nice = doormat, then, no, that's not one of my favorite qualities - in anybody, male or female.

The bottom line is to be yourself. It's a lot easier than trying to guess what someone wants you to be -and at least if you get shot down, you still have your self-respect. You just have to have faith that there is someone out there who is looking for what you have to offer. Good luck!

 

[D_Partheza Analwart]

I seriously should hook you up with some of my friends. The biggest thing with these girls is meeting 'nice guys'.

I think you may be hanging around the wrong crowds. Sometimes people view nice as boring. Now I know its stupid of me to say this, but sometimes I have a real problem with 'nice people'. If you're trying to be 'nice' and it's not really who you are then please, stop right away. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean turn into an asshole, just that a few sarcastic jokes every now and then aren't bad. Unlike me though, I'm waay to extreme on the sarcasm, so much so that people call me 'not nice'. Can't help it though. But it's getting better with age.

And whatever you do, please, don't apologize to anyone for who you are. It's a factor of upbringing, environment, etc that does that.