Not Fearing Rejection from A Woman

[Lilyoftheghetto]

All of my life I have watched straight men fearlessly approach women in public, introduce themselves, ask for phone numbers, etc. And I have seen many of these guys just flat out rejected and sometimes humliated. What amazes me is how most of you immediately recover from the rejection and just move on to your next target. Gay men tend not to be the same. Many of us live in constant fear of being rejected by someone we approach and when it does happen many of us are very hurt and think there is something wrong with us. My question to straight men is how do you not take rejection from a woman personal? How do you get over it so quickly?

 

[cofrader]

It hurts...

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

But as tempting the dark arts where I choose to get better to communicate better.
Its the Schrödinger's cat until you ask you don't know, also is a matter of chance if on that exact moment scarlet Johanson become available i may have a chance, the window closes once she chooses and she would reject any others.
While being available she might reject by numerous reasons, she could be not ready or we could be on different pages.
I guess those that get burned and instantly are back on hitting learn something about this of or doesn't give dam about anybody.

 

[notthatguy]

Tp start with, it is a numbers game. If you don’t play you can never win.

 

[Sagittarius84]

There's a little confirmation bias and apex fallacy going on here. Stats show most straight men these days do not approach women at all, and one of the biggest complaints of straight women in the dating world is a lack of men approaching them like they did in days past.
I think the men who constantly approach are overrepresented And over-considered. I think most straight men are actually in the same, if not worse boat than gay men when it comes to the dating market in that women collectively(and vocally) pre-reject most men when given the most freedom and space to espouse their preferences, and unlike gay men, I don't think our probability of being rejected is as closely tied to how narrow our preferences may be, that I suspect is more the case amongst gay men.

 

[cofrader]

So nightclubs are the next blockbuster?
I guess if you were on a nightclub people were available for the less worse available, if people just use the app why anyone would buy overpriced booze and expensive entrance.

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

Baby don't hurt me... No more.

 

[derf3]

I endeavor always to be extra careful and considerate, before even approaching a woman. And so, for me at least: there is nothing more of a turn-off, than a lady responding negatively to that--to my trying to be civilized!

It hurts for sure.

Things of it is though: what can you even do? Be a jerk about it? Respond in kind? That is even less appealing. Frankly, I would hate myself; for turning into the caricature that, up till that point, they've only made me out to be.

In a situation like that, you just gotta get up and leave.

 

[Sagittarius84]

So nightclubs are the next blockbuster?
I guess if you were on a nightclub people were available for the less worse available, if people just use the app why anyone would buy overpriced booze and expensive entrance.

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

Baby don't hurt me... No more.

Worse actually...the picture almost perfectly encapsulates what the club has devolved to. What's worse is that because women primarily still seek outlets for consequence free debauchery, and male attention, the nightclub won't actually die...because even though the majority of men whom attend(and fund) clubs are still seeking sex and/or relationships, the vast majority of women present are not...but are willing to play the role for attention, access, and free drinks. It's borderline a slap in the face to men collectively, because women have been so vocal about how they would prefer to be unbothered in public spaces, only to be just as if not more averse to most men coming up to them in a club environment, despite the overpriced drinks and expensive entrance fees.
The nightclub, really the entirety of the nightlife scene in hetero world has become an entitlement for women to get any and all benefits that come with sexual attention, whilst simultaneously having no obligations or expectations put upon them for receiving such benefits/attention.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Tp start with, it is a numbers game. If you don’t play you can never win.

That's noble advice, definitely applicable on a wide scale in generations past....that I don't think really applies on average in modernity. I don't think the vast majority of men are looking at a "win" unless they are in the position to be the rejector, women's collective sexual selectivity isn't exactly generous towards men apt to be rejected.

 

[Sagittarius84]

My question to straight men is how do you not take rejection from a woman personal? How do you get over it so quickly?

I think this standard was established pre Internet revolution, mainly because optionality of sexual opportunity was fairly wide for the average man from post WWII to about the mid 90's. I think most sexual rejection from women back then was considered more on an individual basis, wherein today it's much more monolithic, ironically.
But as someone fortunate enough to have faced minimal rejection over the yrs, it was really easy to get over any individual rejection because there was always known interest in the back burner, partly because of demonstrably desirable traits/behaviors and partly because my sexual/romantic interest in women isn't strictly relegated those deemed my looks equivalent or higher. When you find a large swath of the female archetype attractive, the likelihood of being the potential rejector goes way up.

 

[Markyoung873]

Eye contact, smile, hello. It’s that easy. If all 3 are reciprocated you stand a chance, if not move along. No one will notice…. If you do that then 20mins later you might find that she’s staring at you looking a bit pissed off that you haven’t been back to chat her up.. let the games begin! (you definitely stand a chance then)

 

[Sagittarius84]

Eye contact, smile, hello. It’s that easy. If all 3 are reciprocated you stand a chance, if not move along. No one will notice…. If you do that then 20mins later you might find that she’s staring at you looking a bit pissed off that you haven’t been back to chat her up.. let the games begin! (you definitely stand a chance then)

As I said earlier, for older millennials and up there's still applicability in this, for younger millennials and below, the script still doesn't have a final draft, and is facing constant, paradoxical rewrites.

 

[savageblue]

All of my life I have watched straight men fearlessly approach women in public, introduce themselves, ask for phone numbers, etc. And I have seen many of these guys just flat out rejected and sometimes humliated. What amazes me is how most of you immediately recover from the rejection and just move on to your next target. Gay men tend not to be the same. Many of us live in constant fear of being rejected by someone we approach and when it does happen many of us are very hurt and think there is something wrong with us. My question to straight men is how do you not take rejection from a woman personal? How do you get over it so quickly?

First of all, it hurts.
Second, what other option do we have?
Third, it's also part of growing uo and growing as a person. If you work on yourself constantly (as I believe one should), dealing with rejection, in whichever area of your life, becomes easier. You might never become 100% imune to it, but you learn to handle it and recover from it faster.

Also, if you're hungry, you don't dwell on the person who's just refused to give you food, you move on to the next one.

 

[Naughty Teacher]

What have you lost? If you didn’t know that person before, and you don’t know them now, it’s the same.

 

[38long]

My question to straight men is how do you not take rejection from a woman personal? How do you get over it so quickly?

Hm, imagine this: before being rejected, you had 0 women. After being rejected, you still had 0 women. So, what's the difference? You just move on until your fix that 0. The faster, the better. Nobody must accept another one they don't want to. It's true for both sides, as well as the possibility of the one who rejected being the one "that has something wrong with". Speculation is useless. So, you just move on.

 

[Mike hung]

I don't really see what the issue is, admittedly I've never experienced rejection very often plus I've also always had a lot of women approach me, so it works both ways.
But on the whole if I've been rejected it's never been a problem for me, just move on, there's a world of pussy to be explored.

 

[lapdog2001]

All of my life I have watched straight men fearlessly approach women in public, introduce themselves, ask for phone numbers, etc. And I have seen many of these guys just flat out rejected and sometimes humiliated. What amazes me is how most of you immediately recover from the rejection and just move on to your next target. Gay men tend not to be the same. Many of us live in constant fear of being rejected by someone we approach and when it does happen many of us are very hurt and think there is something wrong with us. My question to straight men is how do you not take rejection from a woman personal? How do you get over it so quickly?

My take on what you said, edited to my own life experience:

All of my life I have watched men fearlessly approach women in public, introduce themselves, ask for phone numbers, etc. And I have seen many of these guys just flat out rejected and sometimes humiliated. What amazes me is how most of them immediately recover from the rejection and just move on to their next target. I tend not to be the same. I lived in constant fear of being rejected by someone I approached, and when it did happen I was very hurt and thought there is something wrong with me. My question to bold men is how do you not take rejection from a woman personal? How do you get over it so quickly?

While I haven't been in the dating pool in over 15+ years, I always lived with a fear of rejection. Unfortunately, most of the women I was interested in were already with someone, or wanted to "just be friends". Those were the toughest ones to swallow, as I had gotten to know them, at least a little bit, and it wasn't some random, momentary physical attraction thing.

As others have said, you have to have the courage to ask, then accept the response, and move on. If you are always being rejected, then maybe asking some friends to be honest with you and give you their opinions on your approach, methods, etc.

Again, as others have stated, if you don't ask, you will never have any successes!

 

[halcyondays]

My question to straight men is how do you not take rejection from a woman personal? How do you get over it so quickly?

Practice.

My mother gave me the best advice on this when I was young. I was moping around because a crush turned me down when I asked her out. Mom said two things.

One, don't just ask out the girls on whom you crush. Ask out lots of girls and don't take rejection personally. Move on to the next one you want to ask. Men ask, women say no.

Second, you'll be surprised who says yes and how much you may like them once you get to know them.

So I started asking girls, sometimes even at random. At first my success rate was abysmal but as I got more dates more girls noticed. I even got dates with some of the girls who originally rejected me.

It IS a numbers game and you'll never know if you don't ask.

 

[Evenflow618]

Use my code

 

[cofrader]

Practice.

My mother gave me the best advice on this when I was young. I was moping around because a crush turned me down when I asked her out. Mom said two things.

One, don't just ask out the girls on whom you crush. Ask out lots of girls and don't take rejection personally. Move on to the next one you want to ask. Men ask, women say no.

Second, you'll be surprised who says yes and how much you may like them once you get to know them.

So I started asking girls, sometimes even at random. At first my success rate was abysmal but as I got more dates more girls noticed. I even got dates with some of the girls who originally rejected me.

It IS a numbers game and you'll never know if you don't ask.

Wise woman
So @Lilyoftheghetto did you get the idea? have you applied any on your "world"?