Older Men.
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Enid
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- Enid,
I don't have anything meaningful to add because I've never been involved with someone significantly older (most was 4 years older when I was 18), tend to date younger, but if Calboner so much as winked at me I'd swoon and devolve into a puddly giggly girly mess. And I don't often do that, I am Miss Stoic.
I think some women like older guys because they don't play games like some who are younger do, they're more confident (self-possessed), also steadfast and secure. Just my speculations.
I think some women like older guys because they don't play games like some who are younger do, they're more confident (self-possessed), also steadfast and secure. Just my speculations.
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nicenycdick
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I am at a loss, really. I have had more women flirt with me in my fifties than in my 20's, 30's or 40's...combined! I think it must be the confidence, that feeling that we've been around long enough to know what's going on. I know that I have skills now that I didn't have when I was younger. Whatever it is, I ain't knockin' it!
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I think you will find that most of us guys feel the opposite; I'd probably never date someone my age or older. Perhaps it goes back to our primal encoding... trying to preserve the gene pool and all that.
The next time you see a handsome "mature" guy, say something (you don't even have to compliment us... just let us know we made your "doable" list), you never know where that might lead.
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My parents are 13 years apart. Weird to think that when my mom started kindergarden that my dad was graduating highschool. They've been married for 32 years now. Very happy, they don't seem that far apart in age. Mom was 24 and dad was 37 when they got married.
Ditto on the usually stoic part. Usually. I have to really battle my bumbling idiot urges and wandering eyes in front of one guy :frown1: and it's not a battle I seem to be winning.
D_Sparroe Spongecaques
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hud01
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Actually if you have only been with a guy 4 years older you really don't have much data. Most people find that the games stop as men get older, so I am taking a wild guess that the older men you are talking about aren't really that old.
When I was 30 I was dating a 21 year old. She said I was the only guy to wear her out. We went over three years without missing a day, well at least for me. My last gf was 20 years younger and would complain that I broke her so she couldn't walk on certain days.
hud01
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I think he was in his early 70's when he said it. When he was in mid 40's to late 50's he was living with Sondra Locke and was she hot.
THEDUDEofDestiny
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What's this about older guys not playing games? In my experience games are something women play. If a guy is sending you mixed signals he is just keeping his options open and if you are really interested you are going to read more into it. Maybe women expect less games from older men and then just read them like they could guys their own age if they gave it a shot.
B_Hickboy
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Not necessarily true - I have met older guys who have incredible sex drives and are incredibly hot.
Well, yes, true to an extent - older guys have a little something called R-E-S-P-E-C-T which means that you will need to be the one who is the most forward and aggressive in order to get the party started, which can be an uncomfortable feeling.
nicenycdick
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mako shark
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For those that are older and stay in shape it is no problem keeping up with a younger or older woman. Besides the financial security we also tend to care more about our lovers. I make sure that my gf has came many times before I even consider finishing the act.
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My parents are 13 years apart. I always had an older dad when i was growing up compared to my peers. I've never dated anyone more than a couple of years older than me. I do find some older men attractive but i find more younger guys attractive upon first sight.
I think it has more to do with your personality and how the guys around your age are in their values, morals, personality, etc. If they, on the whole, aren't appealing to you...you will naturally gravitate toward a group that is older or younger to relate to.
I think it has more to do with your personality and how the guys around your age are in their values, morals, personality, etc. If they, on the whole, aren't appealing to you...you will naturally gravitate toward a group that is older or younger to relate to.
When I was 21 I was very attracted to men around the age of 30, so I dated a lot of them. I dated a few men who were older than that, too. I had a lot of problems dating older men.
Maybe this is because I'm Asian and a lot of those men seemed to think I would be naturally submissive and that's the reason why I've been treated the way I have been, like they were seeking someone younger who would be "easy to control," but a lot of the older men I've dated seemed to think that they were in charge of the relationship, almost in a daddy-like way. They had assumed that they would be making all the decisions and that I would just go along with it. I don't like being treated like that. I also hate it when a man I'm dating talks to me in a condescending way, but some of the older men I've dated seem to think that's acceptable. That doesn't feel respectful to me. I want to be in a relationship with someone who treats me like an equal and a lot of the older men didn't treat me like I was one.
Having said that, I did have a few relationships with older men that went well for a short time, the ones who didn't seem to think my age made me less intelligent, my opinions less valid, or less in control of the relationship. One of them I dated for a few years. With both those men the relationship problems had nothing to do with our age difference. I dated another one for 6 weeks when I was 21, but he was moving much faster than I was and even though we were having a great time dating, I knew that he wasn't the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and it seemed like he was close to asking me to marry him, so I broke up with him.
This has been my experience. I haven't noticed that older guys play more or less games. I've also noticed that maturity seems to be a matter of personality and not age.
I quickly learned when I was 21 and I started dating older men that some of them behaved a lot less maturely than my peers at college. I dated a 19 year old when I was 21 who had more emotional maturity than a lot of the older men I went out on dates with only once or twice. It was a crash course in destroying my expectation that an older man would actually behave more maturely just because he was older. It turns out that those are things you have to figure out. You can't just assume it based on someone's age. I'm glad I learned that lesson so young.
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You should learn a few things as you grow older. Things like machismo is only a sign of insecurity; forgiveness does not equal weakness; mistakes are part of the human condition; kindness is free; life is too short; ultimately we will be judged by how we treat others. Takes a while to learn things so simple. G.B. Shaw said it best 'Youth is wasted on the young'. But I'm not sure I'd like to start over.
I have always loved older men. They attract me and I attract them like crazy. And of the many, many, many men I have dated, only 3 were younger- that's less than 3%- and the range has been anywhere from 6 to 25 years older than me. The security mentioned above, the confidence, the respect and appreciation they show... and they have all been great lovers. I have not had a problem with any of them keeping up with me and I have a rather large capacity for sex. Conversely, the last younger man I was with was absolutely the worst lay of my life. He had energy but that was all he had.
Honestly, at 40 I feel like guys my age are finally getting to be worthy of my attention, like it's finally catching up.
Honestly, at 40 I feel like guys my age are finally getting to be worthy of my attention, like it's finally catching up.
OK, I see your point. But I think a 30yo woman dating a 50yo man is going to have more success than a 21yo woman dating a 30yo man or anywhere in that neighborhood, simply due to increased life experience on her part. And a 40yo woman with a 60yo man, even better.
