Racism

[Catharsis]

Do you think that it's racist of a person not to be interested in (or even of a person to seek out) someone of a particular race or skin color?

I have seen one member on here being criticized for being racist when they mentioned that they aren't interested in black people. But I don't think that was racism or any other type of discrimination - I just think that we all have our own preferences, and this may or may not include skin color.

But, maybe you've been on the receiving end and felt discriminated against because someone rejected you for being of a certain race. Would you view this rejection as racism?

 

[D_22]

It's a... weird situation. I can see why people would see it as racist but at the same time one can't control what turns them on. I always find it awkward when I hear people say, "I can never date this race." To me, if someone is good looking and cool, race shouldn't matter.

Overall, I'm not too sure what my opinion is on this.

 

[B_jdunhill]

Last time I checked it was the human race. What we are talking about is skin pigmentation, or nationality.
Just a pet peeve of mine. I hate the term interracial, even forms asking 'race'. I think attraction is very personal and very concise. I know mine is. I think there are traits people don't find attractive...but there are also stereotypes possibly attributing to such screening. I think location and demographics have a lot to do with it too. I am a Canadian, so as a true melting pot I see things through my lenses. Never really been exposed to 'racism' other than American news. That was not a dig...just an observation.

It is an interesting and absolutely individual set of parameters based on both history, education and personal interaction. Just my $0.02

 

[Remington]

If it's just a preference, then I can't call it racism. We like what we like.

If someone is bigoted toward a certain color of skin or nationality, then I would call them a racist/bigot.

 

[Mercurygirl]

It's not racist at all it's just ultra liberals getting on their knees to suck off a special interest group because they believe it makes themselves look progressive and martyrs in the eyes of aforementioned special interest group. It reeks of self-loathing. Instead they are the ones who are narrow minded and bigoted to actually believe that everyone should think a certain way even when it comes to who another person finds attractive. That if that person doesn't find someone attractive based on racial features and preferences they must be in fact a racist. Thick skull logic at it's best.

One night me and some friends were watching Chris Rock on TV go on for 5 minutes about why Black men are attracted to White women and how Black women hate that because not only do they lose out on Black men and the possible relationships with them to White women but they also lose out because they aren't attracted in the same way to White men. The audience, mostly Black cheered and laughed, Black women were seen nodding their heads, "yes, that's true."

A White male in the room remarked well that's not the entire picture as it's a two way street and that White men aren't, for the most part, attracted to Black women. That when they are it's usually because they have White feature like, Halle Berrie (who BTW has a White mother). That statement brought a rise of ire from a Black couple in the room and they said his statement was racist. It got so heated that it almost erupted into a fistfight with the Black male seemingly defending his girlfriend's honor because he believed the White guy called her and Black women ugly. Meanwhile we had just listened to Chris Rock rip White men and everyone thought that was hysterical including the Black couple.

Did you get that?

I didn't say a word, mainly because the Black girl, who was a rather big girl, was extremely angry (an understatement), on her feet screaming at the White guy, and I felt she would have beat my diminutive little White ass into the carpet. But what I was thinking was, the Black couple are hypocrites and live in a fantasy world of double standards and absolution.

 

[Drifterwood]

An irrational preference is a prejudice. I say irrational because most times, I don't suppose people have experienced what they say they don't like, and some people need to develop their own comfort levels more than others. It is IMO more difficult to connect culturally than sexually.

 

[693987]

Everyone has physical traits they find attractive (or unattractive). I often don't find people of -insert ethnic heritage here- to be as appealing to me as others. However, I'm not the sort of person to say I will never date -insert ethnic heritage here- either.

I don't think it's racist to say, for example "I don't generally find black (African American. Whatever. Depends on how PC ya wanna be) people attractive.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I think people who develop a fetish for a particular ethnicity to be irritating. Particularly when I'm on the receiving end as an Asian. Equally horrible are the people who have told me to only date/fuck within the same ethnic group that I'm a member of. Touchy subject though.

Oh, and cultural differences, holy crap. That's a big one too. I've dated folks who were Black, Hispanic, and East Indian and the culture shock threw me for a real loop. The culture I identify with most is middle-America/middle class/white bread, since I was adopted from S. Korea as a baby and then raised by white folks.

 

[dolfette]

is it sexist to be straight?

 

[blackbottom2]

would you go around saying that to random people you met in the street --- you dont find them sexually attractive because they are black or asian or latino or white skinned or redhaired, so what makes it ok online???

to do so online in a public forum where that tyoe of person may come across your profile is demeaning for that reason it is racist as your sexual preference should be to adertise what you enjoy rather than to using online forums to justify racist behaivour

People change as they go through life what you found attractive when you were 15/16 years old may not be what you find attractive at 40 or 60

if you have a preference then its is that should be expressed rather than the dislike for the particular colour of skin or race its just down to respect for another persons identity i guess and online people seem to find it ok to disprespect

 

[693987]

would you go around saying that to random people you met in the street --- you dont find them sexually attractive because they are black or asian or latino or white skinned or redhaired, so what makes it ok online???

to do so online in a public forum where that tyoe of person may come across your profile is demeaning for that reason it is racist as your sexual preference should be to adertise what you enjoy rather than to using online forums to justify racist behaivour

People change as they go through life what you found attractive when you were 15/16 years old may not be what you find attractive at 40 or 60

if you have a preference then its is that should be expressed rather than the dislike for the particular colour of skin or race its just down to respect for another persons identity i guess and online people seem to find it ok to disprespect

I find it FUCKING HILARIOUS that the person who says it's racist to have a preference in this context.. has a username featuring their race.

Anyway, yes, if someone asked me what my preferences were on the street I would feel perfectly fine answering them. Just because I TEND to have a preference doesn't mean it is the be all, end all for me.

I like lean/lanky men who have a few tattoos, piercings, and are a bit punk or goth. Do I only date/fuck men who look like that? Hell no. Out of the numerous partners I've had, ONE fit that category. I like my women very femme, very boyish, or androgynous. do I only date/fuck women who look like that? Hmmmmmm, nope.

I've dealt with racism. I've had people yelling slurs at me as I walked down the street. I've had people throw trash at me. I've had people spit in my face. Expressing a personal preference that tends to lean more towards one ethnicity isn't racist.

The only part of your post I agree with, is that people's tastes tend to change. I certainly know mine has. Just because I tend to find people of a particular ethnic background more appealing, has nothing at all to do with the amount of respect I have for others.

 

[D_Bubba_Butter]

I've never dated or had the urge to date a blonde. Perhaps it's just coincidence that I haven't met anyone that I particularly clicked with who's blonde. But perhaps I'm a brown-hair supremacist.

 

[D_Jacqueline_Boozann]

I am a black female, and I have had about two (2) -- not many -- white men reject me because I am black: no, it is not racism; it is a matter of preference, period.

Too many blacks scream racism when they do not understand the meaning of racism and preferences. If they were born during the Civil Right's Struggle; then, they would know what racism is, circa, 1960s and 1950s.

Anyway, my preference is white men, and I have to shut my phone off and of/reject the offers I receive....so, I am not hurting for my preferences.

So, Catharsis, I hope my explanation helps you in your post.

 

[dolfette]

racist: no thanks, i don't date blacks

not racist: no thanks, you're not my type

 

[693987]

I've never dated or had the urge to date a blonde. Perhaps it's just coincidence that I haven't met anyone that I particularly clicked with who's blonde. But perhaps I'm a brown-hair supremacist.

You rat bastard brown-hair supremacist, you make me sick! :tongue:

 

[108653]

Me being latin could be a victim of racism. However, I do not mind if someone saw me and said they were not interested. If someone told he they were only interested in black or caucasian, then I wouldn't mind either. It its a sexual preference.

If they told me if they wouldn't sleep with me because a latin guy was pushy I would be really offended. Judging a race for their colour or culture upsets me.

Anyway, there is always someone for you who respects you for who you are inside. So I don't really care of other peoples opinion of me. I have someone who can take my whole cock in her mouth and pussy

 

[SprinkleMe69]

I have my preferences and that's not going to change.

 

[Mr_Ri0t]

I have seen people be turned off by other races. Some are racist, others seem to have more...associative attitudes, like races are just "supposed" to stay amongst themselves.

I love colors. I recently discovered the sex appeal of chiseled, hung black men. Mweh heh heh!! ...but man, the culture sure can drive me nuts. :S That's the thing I would be inclined to reject a black, gray, purple, or green man or woman...if they drive me nuts. That's the thing about most humans...the makes, models, and colors are beautiful, but the things they say and do are repulsive.

 

[jujube]

I think there is a very fine line between a lack of sexual interest in an individual of a particular ethnic background's being a matter of mere preference and its being a matter of racism. Basically, I would summarize the matter as follows:

1. If you look at and consider any person (of any ethnic background) and decide that you do not want to pursue a relationship with him/her because he/she has some particular characteristic(s) that you find unattractive (e.g. pasty white skin) or because he/she lacks some particular characteristic(s) that you consider to be important and attractive (e.g. a six-figure salary), then you are not racist. [EDIT: As Dolfette put it in her previous post, "not racist: no thanks, you're not my type"]

2. If you are initially curious about a person, but suddenly lose interest and stop pursuing a relationship after you have learned the person's ethnic background (e.g. you have been chatting with someone online, and you become disinterested immediately after hearing that the person with whom you have been chatting is African American, without even bothering to meet him/her in person), then you are quite likely racist (even if subconsciously so). [EDIT: As Dolfette put it in her previous post, "racist: no thanks, i don't date blacks"]

I would say that probably the majority of people are racist (i.e. their pattern of behavior would most closely accord to #2 above), though most of them would probably deny it if asked directly. The underlying prejudices may even be somewhat subconscious for some individuals. As an American living in Japan, I cannot count the number of times that I have been having a lively chat with someone online and then, when I have revealed my background, been told suddenly, "I'm sorry, some business has come up, and I have to go now." I think a lot of it has to do with prejudices that the person has formed in his/her mind based on second- or third-hand information of questionable provenance.

 

[buffaloboy]

'No one likes to be called a racist. Particularly racists.'

THE QUEER CASE OF RACISM IN THE GAY COMMUNITY. - TERRY LEVINE | NOGGIN | COPYWRITER | DIGITAL | DIRECT | SOCIAL | TORONTO | CANADA

 

[willow78]

It's not what you say but how you say it.

Having a preference in itself is not racist, but I think how it's expressed can be racist. 'Grindr' can be notorious for this (as referenced in the article buffaloboy linked). So much so that there is a website dedicated to it ( Douchebags of Grindr ) where the 'racist or just preference?' topic is frequently discussed in the comments.

I tend to be very self-conscious about expressing my preferences - I am a white male only attracted to men of colour. Not particularly racist, but I'm sure it can come across as very patronising to a lot of people.