Um, how do you know this? I know that most gay men discuss this either prior to a date or somehow during the date. There are ways to talk about the issue without blatantly asking the question.
The key words there are
gay men.
I had a really nice date (dinner and then coffee) with a hot man where we talked about all kinds of things that let us know if we would even have a chance at compatibility. By the end of the date, I knew he was versatile but preferred to bottom and he knew I was versatile with preferences depending upon the chemistry. We also knew that we both preferred monogamous relationships (A whole other dimension). And, no, we did not have sex at the end of the date (to those who are wondering).
For the most part that does not happen during straight dates. Even if a guy is attracted to a woman he will most likely
not say "do you like guys to go down on you?" or "what posititions do you like?". It would be totally inappropriate in most circumstances. She's likely to slap him, throw a drink in his face, or walk out. And then she'll most likely tell all her friends he's a pervert.
You can be sexually compatible with someone and not compatible in regards to the rules of the relationship. Some want to be totally open and sleep with whomever, some want to be open only if both partners are there, others was strict monogamy.
Right.
The bottom line is that--it really isn't that gay relationships are somehow more difficult to pull off than straight ones--this is not true. What is true is that some gay men tend to be more open at first about what they probably want to do rather than feeling the need to hide their urges
Exactly. Which seems odd because relationships are so much more than just sex, and may explain why gay relationships have a high failure rate. When you start out all about sex, there's no where to go, nothing to build up to. And that can happen to straights too, but when women hold the strings, it's unpredictable when you're getting any. :biggrin1:
(I am thinking about the straight guy who does not want a woman to know he is into swinging or wants to see his woman with another woman at first).
She either says yes or no, and if he insists, he may get dumped.
I'm not sure, Italian. My straight friends tell me that their sexual appetites change alot during their relationships and as they mature. Anal sex, for one...oral... it's all up for grabs.
Of course things change, but most men and women are going to have vaginal, that's a given. Where it goes from there is going to be up to the woman. She's not going to do anything she doesn't want to, or she'll do it to make him happy......sometimes.
And I'd never try to make him a reluctant bottom...respect him too much and it would make for a rotten fuck-fest. Not into rape, folks.
And he might whip your ass, hellboy!
There are other things that top/top and bottom/bottom couples can do which are very satisfying. It's not all about fucking.
I would love to be versatile and am trying to learn how to do so. It's not easy as my barriers are entirely psychological. Right now I will only do it for guys I trust completely and they I can count on one hand.
That's right. What I was getting at was how different it is for straights who don't have to even have to think about tops or bottoms, and maybe there are gays who could care about anal either, as you say. And it is psychological with straights too. Many men and women will not do certain acts unless they are in a deeply committed, loving, and trusting relationship because the intimacy is overwhelming.