As a submissive and a guy with a smaller penis I sometimes overcompensate with disrespect. Do any of you guys require respect from your subs? If they don't respect you what do you do about it? Do you somehow punish them if they don't show respect?
Respect
- Thread starter Landon1996
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malakos
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marriedasian
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i'm not in a dom/sub relationship but i do know a couple that is. he's the dom and she's the sub. she shows full respect and any kind of disrespect is met with punishment. one time i witnessed her pointing at him when that was a clear sign of disrespect. he made her stick our her hand and he slapped her hand hard.. hard as in i could hear it across the room... there was obvious pain but some pure pleasure in her face.
i could be a dom but no way ever a sub, however i could never be a true dom, just a role-play dom as that type of relationship doesn't click with me at all.
i could be a dom but no way ever a sub, however i could never be a true dom, just a role-play dom as that type of relationship doesn't click with me at all.
malakos
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I know many who are very serious about their D/s would disagree with me, but in my opinion it's all ultimately role play. The mainstream of practitioners (I'd guess 99+%) are sane enough to understand that they don't have the right to truly own another person.
As a sub, I admit, most of it is role play. But the need to please is certainly real. I’m sure for a few it can be real, but not sure how healthy a relationship that would be. You really do need to have to ability to “turn it off” and just be normal. Too much of anything gets old fast. But being able to flip into the sub headspace is very enjoyable for me.
malakos
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I actually don't think a desire to please is what qualifies submissiveness, though. It's pretty common among subs, but not universal to that class nor exclusive to it. One can enjoy being in charge and also seeking to please those one has charge over. Or, enjoying pleasing among those who have no strong inclinations towards power dynamics is quite common too.
I'd say submissiveness has more to do with a desire for another to be in charge / in control. With regard to one person being in control of another, the extent to which it (the dynamic) can be real and genuine (as opposed to loosely resembling) in a human rights, post-slavery ideological context is pretty limited.
OTOH, I still haven't a clue what OP was on about.
Looking at it that way, I think you are right. It’s the loss of control that is exciting for me.
halcyondays
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No. But I respect that a sub might disrespect me--taunt me--into dominating him more powerfully with trash talk, dirty talk or just physical dominance all the way up to and including rape role play. The more he taunts me the more domination he wants. My level of physicality plateaus when he stops taunting.
Always, always, always a safe word is established in advance.
Always, always, always a safe word is established in advance.
