Rimming? No Thanks.

[Bull9in]

So...I'm an exclusive top. Always have been, always will be. Only lately, the bottoms I've been with seem to expect me to rim them. And I've noticed that on these forums, it seems expected that this is something that a top will routinely do for a bottom as part of foreplay, and that you're not doing it right if not. I'm not comfortable with that. I certainly do my part to relax/stimulate them, from massages to long fingering sessions, if necessary. But I don't want to stick my tongue in someone...certainly not someone I just met.

Do I like to get rimmed? It's OK, I guess. I've been with guys that really go for it - the first time was a complete surprise, I'll tell ya. But it's certainly nothing I would expect a guy to do...I'll just let him enjoy if he indicates he wants to. Does that make me a hypocrite?

I'm very up front about my expectations when I agree to go home with a guy, and no harm no foul if we don't click. But, is it really something wrong with me that I don't want to rim guys?

I wonder if this has anything to do with the increasingly extreme acts shown in porn? I get the idea that some of the younger guys, especially, seem to think that real-life sex should be like the porn they watch. Ass-to-mouth? Um, no.

But seriously, what's up with this?

 

[ohiorod]

Everyone has their preferences & exclusions; if you are upfront about that, then no harm, no foul. You may eliminate some potential partners, but that sounds like it would be okay to you. State your preferences and exclusions without judgment and you will be fine.

 

[Brodie888]

I'd like dinner and a movie too but that doesn't always happen either... lol

 

[Brodie888]

As a bottom, I would have to say that if I had the choice between getting blown or getting rimmed, I'd choose rimming every time.

I wouldn't expect to be rimmed on a random hookup but I'd have to think twice about being in a relationship with someone opposed to it.

 

[henry777]

Rimming is hot but it's not for everyone. I enjoy getting rimmed but don't rim unless I know the guy is totally clean down there.

 

[1344891]

Btm here & I don’t expect the top to rim me unless it is something that they want to do. It shouldn’t be assumed you are going to eat my asshole just because you are going to fuck it.

Even though I’m btm I personally love to eat n lick asshole! Hairy & sweaty is a plus. But that’s just my preference.

 

[Andrue]

I'm a bottom (95% or better) and I am decidedly all for rimming. If the playmate is into it, that's awesome!. If not, that's fine too because there are still lots of other things to do. If I can rim the playmate, I most definitely will. Not necessarily every single time but I'd be good to know either one of us might do so at some point.

If he doesn't rim me but I can rim him, then I'm happy as a clam. If he doesn't like it done AND he doesn't like to do it, it's a slight downgrade but not a session ending event. The only point at which I'd call it a bust is if he's one of those "I'm a top so I don't actually have to do anything" and basically just lays there like a dead fish, waiting to be serviced. That's a non-repeatable session.

So if you aren't into rimming, then don't do it. Just put your energy into doing other things that will make the experience memorable or at least equally pleasurable for both parties. You're not contractually obligated to do any specific sexual acts (unless you pre-negotiated these) so just be sure the dude is aware that this is pretty much not gonna happen BUT that you have a list of other really fun stuff you are willing and very eager to do to, on and with him. You should be fine then. If that's a deal breaker for him, then so be it. You can just chalk it up to a certain amount of incompatibility and can still part on friendly terms.

In other words, as long as the guy isn't mistakenly led to believe he's gonna be rimmed, you should still be good to go.

 

[muskokan]

I'm a bottom (95% or better) and I am decidedly all for rimming. If the playmate is into it, that's awesome!. If not, that's fine too because there are still lots of other things to do. If I can rim the playmate, I most definitely will. Not necessarily every single time but I'd be good to know either one of us might do so at some point.

If he doesn't rim me but I can rim him, then I'm happy as a clam. If he doesn't like it done AND he doesn't like to do it, it's a slight downgrade but not a session ending event. The only point at which I'd call it a bust is if he's one of those "I'm a top so I don't actually have to do anything" and basically just lays there like a dead fish, waiting to be serviced. That's a non-repeatable session.

So if you aren't into rimming, then don't do it. Just put your energy into doing other things that will make the experience memorable or at least equally pleasurable for both parties. You're not contractually obligated to do any specific sexual acts (unless you pre-negotiated these) so just be sure the dude is aware that this is pretty much not gonna happen BUT that you have a list of other really fun stuff you are willing and very eager to do to, on and with him. You should be fine then. If that's a deal breaker for him, then so be it. You can just chalk it up to a certain amount of incompatibility and can still part on friendly terms.

In other words, as long as the guy isn't mistakenly led to believe he's gonna be rimmed, you should still be good to go.

you always give good advice! i love eating an nice, clean butthole and go crazy when someone does the same to me. I do not expect anything from a top other than his cock sending me to heaven. if he is going to rim me that is pure extra heaven.

 

[emmyfan]

I would have an issue if I looooove to do anything and the other person does not like to reciprocate

 

[Bull9in]

I would have an issue if I looooove to do anything and the other person does not like to reciprocate

That's a bit limiting, isn't it? If you "looooove" to bottom, but the guy you're with is a top, he won't reciprocate. That would be a problem? You would only be able to be with guys who do exactly what you do.

 

[emmyfan]

That's a bit limiting, isn't it? If you "looooove" to bottom, but the guy you're with is a top, he won't reciprocate. That would be a problem? You would only be able to be with guys who do exactly what you do.

I should have been more specific. I am talking in terms of exploring another guy's body with rubbing, kissing and licking and the other guy does not reciprocate.

 

[Bull9in]

I should have been more specific. I am talking in terms of exploring another guy's body with rubbing, kissing and licking and the other guy does not reciprocate.

Oh. That makes much more sense!