Roll with the punches or end things right there and then?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    Nearly 90% of men on dating sites list themselves as long / thick / very thick... etc... when they aren't. So lets say you decide to take a gamble and meet him in person. And lets say there is obvious sexual chemistry between the two of you ... and you decide to go back to either place... and find that his male endowment is not what he stated on his profile to be....(and more likely he lied BIG time) DO you still have sex with him with while hoping that he can compensate for his size in other way or end things right there? What would you do?

    I had a recent date with this gentleman. He flat out stated on his profile that he was very long and very thick. There were no photos of his unit on his profile. We decided at the spur of the moment to meet for coffee and see if things went well. Things went well, and we decided to head back to my place and just as I started to feel him up, I could tell he was not what he stated on his profile. I thought maybe he's a grower and will become bigger. Wrong...he was SMALL (at least 4 - 4.5 long) When my put my hand around it, there was nothing protruding above my hands and my thumb could go on top of my middle finger. Right there and then I knew the sex would be awful and wanted to end the "date" right there and then. Can I do that or is it wrong?

    By the way, the sex was awful. He did nothing to compensate for his size. I had tried to make the sex good but he was more obvious interested in getting his own rocks off. I was upset that he had lied about his size and the following morning, I told him that he had lied about his size and that he was no where near very long / very thick... (And he was pissed alright, but he knew I was right)...

    So what would you do? Roll with the punches or end things right there and then?
     
  2. tiggerpoo

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    Dear Girl on Fire

    He earned the contempt you have for him. What a fake he is. After his lie how could you believe anything he said.

    I'm small and never ever say anything else. In fact I come straight out and say to potential partners that if they're a size queen then I'm not the guy for them. I've had many great girlfriends and a lot of great sex. But it's my loving, my personality, my fingers and my tongue that give orgasms not my dick. Not all girls are size queens, but I respect those who have a fetish for a big dick. I'm not for them.

    Kind regards

    Tiggerpoo.
     
  3. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    Tiggerpoo - so should I be upfront in my profile or when emailing men that I am a size queen (as much as I hate that term)??

    Should I let him know upfront that if he really is not what he says he is in his profile that we should not waste each other time?
     
  4. Attila the Hung

    Attila the Hung Active Member

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    If I were you I would do both of those things, that way you are more likely to avoid a repeat of what happened to you.
     
  5. tiggerpoo

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    Dear Girl on Fire

    I would prefer you to be up front about your preferences so that we don't waste each others time. Imagine you dating me - that would be pointless, unless we agreed that there would be no sex but merely for the company. I have preferences too - I like small petite women. I prefer small boobs. I'm quite up front about those. As I am about my size.
     
  6. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    It just seems so rude to bring about the topic. But since I am quite a blunt person, it would only be logical for me to say "So I see that your profile stated that you are very long and very thick. I really hope you are what you say because I am a size queen and love that long deep stretched out feeling and if you aren't, then sex isn't going to be good?"

    Or should I be extremely blunt and break out a ruler / tape measure and say if you're not that long and that thick, forget it? LOL.

    Sorry for asking so many questions.
     
  7. Patchos

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    1. Ask to see it on cam, or ask him to take a photo requesting a particular angle so you know it is really him.

    2. On your profile, state your minimum and that you will be asking them to verify.

    Being upfront is about the only thing you can do to prevent it from happening again.
     
  8. boobsguy21

    boobsguy21 New Member

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    depends....

    If he said it was "thick/long" but didnt say how thick or long then it might just be what he has been told. For example Girls i have been with have said im the biggest guy they have fucked,....true? idk but if i base of that i would say im bigish.

    But it really comes down to this....If a girl said she had DD, a good job, and was 21, and i found out she was rly a B, unemployed, and 30 with a kid. I would be out of there.

    Not because ther is anything wrong with her, but because she lied to me...starting off with lies like that shit can only get worse.
     
  9. whatireallywant

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    I haven't had quite the extreme experience you had with this but I have answered ads for guys who stated "Long/Very Thick" on their profiles, and while they actually were big, they weren't my fantasy level. But that's ok, so I roll with the punches in that case.

    I look online for big guys because I think it's about the only tactful way you can really do that. And I'm upfront about my being, er, not skinny, but with a skinny woman's boobs. (The skinny woman's boobs are just wondering what they're doing on that chubby body! :eek:) - I do say that my body type is "Average" though, because I really do wear the statistical average dress size. And judging from what I see around me, I think I am about average. And I don't mention my employment (or lack thereof) because it has changed a lot - I work a lot of temp jobs.

    Now if the guy said he was big but he was really small, I don't really know what I'd do. I think I'd not want to be with him because of the dishonesty. Granted, I'm mainly looking for a big guy there, and I sometimes feel like I don't have much to offer in return (see chubby body and skinny woman's boobs above...) but sometimes they are fine with what I have. Actually, I run into more rejection not because of my weight or bra size, but because of my age. (I'm 46 and the guys I want all seem to want women in their twenties - I wish I'd known about all this stuff when I WAS in my twenties! But then, I didn't have a computer back then, either!)
     
  10. D_Maurice Mountlilly

    D_Maurice Mountlilly Account Disabled

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    if that's what you were looking for(huge,long,thick, ect.)it shouldn't come off as rude.
    it sucks you got the short end of the stick.

    but for me the size thing is a catch 22. i'm cocky or some type of braggart if i tell a partner about how huge i am. or i'm inconsiderate if i don't say anything and warn the woman i'm with before we have sex.
     
  11. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    yep, what she said!
     
  12. ManlyBanisters

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    That would entirely depend - IF I was just in it for a quick hook up and IF the expectation was a large cock then I'd probably confront him about it there and then, IF, that is, I had been explicit and blunt about a big one.

    However - I've never done sex that way, so I'm really just postulating - I've always judged the overall package (no pun intended, I mean the person as a whole, attractiveness of body and personality combined) so in my case discovering an average or small cock wouldn't be an issue. I wouldn't even be bothered about the lie - men are insecure about their penises. A man is just as likely to say he has a 7" cock when it is 5" as a woman who wears a 14 is likely to say 12 or even 10. If you're that keen on a big one and are upfront about that then some verification before meeting is a perfectly reasonable hook up request.

    Of course you can!! Just because you have said you want to fuck it doesn't mean you have entered into a binding contract. You can back out of sex at any moment. Hell, if a guy is already inside and you want to stop you are completely within your rights to stop. It is frustrating for the man but his needs are not more important than yours. If you don't want to have sex don't. Simple as. It's your body.

    I'm glad you told him - I'm sorry you had bad sex.

    An aside: I have a slight issue with the phrase 'compensate for his size'. I know in agirlonfire's case she wanted a big cock and good sex may well have to involve a big cock for her. That's her perogative. The problem I have is often that it put across as the consensus female point of view, that a man needs to compensate for not having a big cock. That notion is one of the things that perpetuates the male insecurity about cock size. Most women I have interacted with, here and elsewhere, like a big cock but do not see it as a requirement for good sex. And it isn't a case of 'not minding' or the man 'compensating' - it is a case of a nice, average or small cock doing the job it was made for. Some women prefer it.

    agirlonfire is not wrong to want what she wants and it makes far more sense for her to be upfront about it*, but she's not typical either.

    * we wouldn't expect a man who professes to like only size 8 women to go out and shag a fuller figured woman. The only difference is that the body type of a person is obvious when you actually meet. If a guy shows up to a date with a woman who said she was a size 8 and she's sitting there as a perfectly attractive and curvy 12 he's going to notice and can choose there and then how to act.

    NB-I'm talking US dress sizes here because the majority of readers are either American or will be able to relate to American dress sizes.

    Jaysus, though, I should shut up now!! :rolleyes:
     
  13. Viking_UK

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    I think you should have declined politely and shown him the door. Let's face it, he got what he wanted and left you disappointed. At least if you'd kicked him out, you'd both have been let down. To be honest, I'd probably show him the door for lying to me anyway.

    That's not to say that another guy his size wouldn't be a great lover. Some smaller guys are a hell of a lot better in bed than guys who have big dicks and think that's all it takes. I've had incredible sex with smaller guys and incredibly boring sex with guys who were hung like donkeys. The trouble is you never know which you've got until you get down to it.
     
  14. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    Haha ! I appreciate everything you said Manly. :)

    I've been thinking about what you said about "compensation for size"... you are right. It does lead to implications, whether it's negative or not. Though I have been told by several partners or friends that they knew they were not endowed and they would do everything in their power to make a woman cum. I played with a different fella about 2 months ago, and he was at most 5-6 inches, and he went full out on oral, fingering, and toying that I didn't care about that he wasn't as big / thick as I wanted. Otherwise, I'd have been here complaining about that fella too. :p

    I guess I just have to change my approach, to ensure I get what I want. I just worry that before sex has happened that when I find out he's not what I want, that it might make a man angry and he might hurt me or force himself on me.
     
  15. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    I think some men lie about their size and hope that in the heat of the moment a woman will give in...and that is what happened to me.

    I do agree with you that men that are small / average can be better lover than those with big dongs. And this man I was with, clearly was not skilled in other aspect or more like not interested in pleasing me.
     
  16. ManlyBanisters

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    But just because a guy is big it doesn't mean he doesn't need to do all the other stuff. My man is above average and he still goes 'full out' on all the other aspects of sex, mental and physical. I like being banged by a big cock, but I like all the other stuff too.

    Just because I have a tight, springy and succulent cunt it doesn't mean I should not give my man as many brain-flipping blowjobs as he can handle, does it? :smile:

    So, for want of better words, you give it rather than risk having it taken from you. Some might say the result is the same in the end. I know you keep control and I understand that - it is important to keep control. It is also important to be true to yourself. If you are meeting a man and you aren't sure if he's going to be the strangle-you-and-fuck-the-corpse-if-you-say-no type then I would seriously reconsider meeting with him.

    That said, hook-ups carry an element of risk and I understand that might be part of the excitment. All-in-all I reckon being upfront about size mattering and pre-hookup unit verification on webcam is the way to go. That and a can of mace in your purse :wink:
     
  17. BanShen

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    I agree with this post (except for the part about some smaller guys being better in bed- I wouldn't know).

    I just think that if he lied to you, especially in such a drastic way, that you should disappoint him somewhat in the way he disappointed you. There's just something wrong about if it's part of the sell. I am assuming, of course, that the date went ok but not so great that you're just amazingly excited to see him again.

    Of course, don't get too anal about things and start kicking out guys because he's really 7.75" instead of 8". Now you're getting fussy!
     
  18. molotovmuffin

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  19. NotSoDumb_Blonde

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    I guess I just have to change my approach, to ensure I get what I want. I just worry that before sex has happened that when I find out he's not what I want, that it might make a man angry and he might hurt me or force himself on me.[/QUOTE]


    Now this, "that it might make a man angry and he might hurt me..." is scary! I think it would be great if men came with the same package we have, big boobs are hard to hide, so are small, but a penis? That's a tough one. But never get yourself into a situation that you feel like you can't trust your partner! Scary! Why not just say, listen, I want to have sex with a guy that's at least (whatever you want in size) if you aren't, please don't waste my time. Is that too rough? Bold? I hear guys like bold...maybe try that before you meet for coffee/tea/sex. :biggrin1: That way, it's a hook up, he knows it, you know it, and if he isn't what you want, then screw it, walk, but don't screw him!
     
  20. rob_just_rob

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    Ugh. I used to use nonmainstream dating sites and ran across far too many lying women... I can only imagine how many more male liars there are on those sites. Mainstream dating sites like Lavalife and eHarmony, despite their other flaws, seem to have fewer outright fakers on them.

    As others have noted - be upfront, and stick to what you've expressed your requirements to be. Don't encourage lying by fucking people you have no interest in fucking.

    I got to the point where I would sit down, talk with a woman for 5 minutes and then come right out and tell her that she had misrepresented herself and that I was leaving. After a while you get sick of wasting time.
     
    #20 rob_just_rob, Nov 24, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2009
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