Son's Curiousity

[Sean O.]

Thanks all for your comments. I've always been very close with my son which is why his silence on this topic has me baffled. I've had all the discussions with him - the sex talk, the body changing/puberty talk, the locker room etiquette talk. The one thing I've never shared with him are my actual measurements. Someone mentioned that as possible information to share, but I've always tried to downplay size as "not a big deal", so I wouldn't want to run counter to that by saying "this is how big dad is".

Since I've figured out that I'm the focus of his attention, I suppose it shouldn't bother me much, but it does make me uncomfortable. I know I can deal with it though, and there's no harm in him looking. And while I was considering no longer showering together, I think it does make sense that I don't do anything that drastic. I don't want to make a big deal out of it.

I think my best approach at this point is to give him time until he's comfortable asking what he wants to ask, and let him know that he can ask me anything. And I'll have to learn patience, which is never my strong suit! Thanks again for all your comments, a lot of wisdom in this community.

 

[KinkGuy]

Sean,
I applaud your concern and caring. The world needs more fathers like you! Luckily, I had one. He was open, honest, direct and always concerned and sincere. I had seen my dad nude from an early age. He wasn't a pervert, but we had showered together and I used to visit with him mornings while he showered and shaved. It was kinda' our "guy time" and he never attempted to hide his nudity and encouraged mine in the proper circumstances, nor did he avoid any questions I posed.

I do remember, at about your sons age actually feeling infatuated with my father and older males in general. I think it is a curiosity as boys begin to feel the hormonal and physical changes that begin about this age.

Please continue to be open, honest and comfortable with your son. Him staring or "examining" his nude father is normal and not something to be concerned about. It's a normal, natural part of his development...and all part of his becoming a member of the fraternity of men...which in generations past, was marked by ceremony, celebration or initiation. Love him.

 

[kurios]

Maybe size is the issue and if it is I dont think there is any contradiction in your approach to downplaying size and discussing size.
In fact I think it would be good to talk specifics and averages and leave it at that.
If he follows you size wise he will know what to expect and wont be so vulnerable to any adolescent locker room teasing and if he doesnt he will understand as you say that it is no big deal.
Cudos for wanting to sort things out. There would be a lot less hang ups if issues/perceptions were handled before they get all out of perspective.

 

[B_caneadea]

Hey, Sean O,

Don't forget to check back and give us an update on the situation.

 

[Alley Blue]

I disagree, this is too confrontational and may make the kid clam up even more.

Handling the situation with tact, regardless if it be in the moment or after the moment, has more of a bearing on it being confrontational.

 

[Alley Blue]

Maybe you are the first adult that he has seen nude and feels comfortable looking at instead of just glancing. Maybe he wonders if he will look like you especially if you are hung.

Yeah, perhaps it really is just that simple. When someone isn’t expressing what there feeling, its dangerously easy to "assume" what there probably feeling. If you get carried away with assumptions, this can lead you to conclude the wrong things. I would hold back from becoming alarm until I find out that his motivations for staring are unhealthy.

 

[well_endowed]

Haven't seen this come up on the boards, but wondering if anyone has had a similar problem, and how you may have dealt with it.

My son is 13, turning 14 in a few weeks. We shower together after swimming at the gym, and on weekends when we go out on my father-in-law's sailboat (the bathroom at the marina has a small group shower). Over the last few months, I've caught my son staring at my equipment in the shower. After the first couple of times, I explained to him that it's not polite, and asked him if he had questions or wanted to talk about anything, but he clammed up. It stopped for a couple of weeks, but then started up again. I haven't noticed this behavior with any other adults in the shower, so I'm thinking it may be because of my size.

At this point I'm thinking I will stop showering with him, but I will still have a couple of concerns - first, that is only addressing the short-term issue and doesn't get him to open up about why he's staring; and second, I'm hesitant to send him in the showers at the marina alone, because you never know who may be lurking. I might be paranoid about the second concern, but I know that won't leave my mind.

Has anyone else encountered a similar situation? Is there a better way for me to approach this, other than how I've tried? Thanks.

Hit him around the head and tell the little perv to stop looking at cock unless he wants to grow up to be a gay

 

[EFH33]

Sean O.-

First of all, MOST guys look at other guys in the locker rooms. I know a lot of guys won't admit it, but I don't think it's wrong to check out the competition. As you said, looking doesn't hurt, unless you stare and the guy catches you...

At 14 years old it's even MORE normal to look, because his body is changing and he's becoming a man. You being his father is the closest thing he has to really wonder about himself, and since you're larger than the average man down there he probably is wondering if he'll be the same. I am sure he notices other men too, and you're probably bigger than them, so that in itself is going to make him wonder why you're more endowed than all the other guys are.

I think you're doing the right thing, but I'd continue to encourage him to ask you questions about sexuality and development. I wish my dad was more open with me, but he wasn't so I figured a lot out on my own. I am sure if you approach it in a comfortable manner that eventually he'll open up to you.

 

[prepstudinsc]

Hit him around the head and tell the little perv to stop looking at cock unless he wants to grow up to be a gay

Really good advice there, dude. Best I've read yet. Yeah, I think that will really help someone looking for some answers. I think someone needs to hit you on the head.

 

[well_endowed]

Really good advice there, dude. Best I've read yet. Yeah, I think that will really help someone looking for some answers. I think someone needs to hit you on the head.

OMGLOL LYKE GUD ONEEE!!!!!!111

Jesus you're a cretin. 36 and still making crass comments like that. I pity you

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

His reply doesn't make your post any more productive, sensible, nicely timed, or appropriate. So, instead of calling him a cretin, why don't you take some accountability for being a retard?

 

[titan1968]

OMGLOL LYKE GUD ONEEE!!!!!!111

Jesus you're a cretin. 36 and still making crass comments like that. I pity you

I don't see how hitting people over their heads accomplishes anything. This has nothing to do with self-defence: it has to do with a father looking for answers for his son.

Everyone has the right to ask questions (and to an opinion). You can agree or disagree with someone, but that doesn't give you the right to insult him. If you can't say anything pleasant, don't say anything at all.

Always remember that questions are never stupid, but answers can be.

 

[Alley Blue]

Something that Well_Hung posted in the "11 at 9yr" thread:

Not only am I hung like a blessed horse, I can back it up with quotes from my girlfriend, once I sign onto "her" account

Rather telling.......

 

[DC_DEEP]

I'm starting to wonder if "well_endowed" is the reincarnation of our old buddy, "jace."

 

[Freddie53]

Haven't seen this come up on the boards, but wondering if anyone has had a similar problem, and how you may have dealt with it.

My son is 13, turning 14 in a few weeks. We shower together after swimming at the gym, and on weekends when we go out on my father-in-law's sailboat (the bathroom at the marina has a small group shower). Over the last few months, I've caught my son staring at my equipment in the shower. After the first couple of times, I explained to him that it's not polite, and asked him if he had questions or wanted to talk about anything, but he clammed up. It stopped for a couple of weeks, but then started up again. I haven't noticed this behavior with any other adults in the shower, so I'm thinking it may be because of my size.

At this point I'm thinking I will stop showering with him, but I will still have a couple of concerns - first, that is only addressing the short-term issue and doesn't get him to open up about why he's staring; and second, I'm hesitant to send him in the showers at the marina alone, because you never know who may be lurking. I might be paranoid about the second concern, but I know that won't leave my mind.

Has anyone else encountered a similar situation? Is there a better way for me to approach this, other than how I've tried? Thanks.

What a wonderful relationship you have with your son. Don't blow it. I suggest that you do the opposite. Next time it is just the two of you, jjust delieberately take your time and let him stare until he has seen all he wants to see. If you are partialy hiding yourself. he is still trying to see your package to see what he will look like. So let him look until his curiosity is satisfied.

Ignore the stares completely, it will go away in time. The more you push it the worse it will be. Leave it alone.

It wouldn't be inappropraite if you had a boner and he saw it as long as it was just incidental. If his staring causing that to happen. just ignore it.

And yes talk about how to behave around strangers in the showers. He will need to know this.

Also talk about all isuses, penis size at different ages, average penis size. If he isn't endowed like you are, he will need nots of confidence buidling from you. But as some one else suggested a long car drive is a wondreful time to do that. No distractions and plenty of time and no exit stregy for him either of you once the conversations begin.


You are a blessed dad and don't realize it. Most dads would give their eye teeth to be showering with a son at 13 and doing all the stuff you two do together. Most dads have alreay blown that closeness by the time their sons are 13. Some dads never have much of a relationship of all after age 11 or so if they have one then.

My sons are grown. I became too modest too soon. How I would gladly go back in time and do all those things you two do together and taking showers with them and them staring would be a small price for me to pay. And I wouldn't care how many guys came in just to have the oppuortuniity to have that closeness with my sons. Pennies on the dollar for the dividends in what a wonderful relationship you can have with your son now and as long as you both live.

 

[nineboxer]

Dad - dont mess it up. be upfront and honest. Show him what he needs to see. Tell him what he needs to hear. LISTEN. My dad was very open with me and my 2 brothers. We all appreciate it. It inclused a lot of looking and some showing.

 

[prepstudinsc]

Something that Well_Hung posted in the "11 at 9yr" thread:



Rather telling.......

Alley, you're getting Well_Hung and Well Endowed confused

 

[EFH33]

Alley, you're getting Well_Hung and Well Endowed confused

Don't they mean the same thing??

 

[B_caneadea]

Hit him around the head and tell the little perv to stop looking at cock unless he wants to grow up to be a gay

Oh, My, God.
You ignorant boob.
If looking at cock made you gay, every man who ever took a shower would be gay.
I can only hope your flip remark was a feeble attempt at humor.

 

[Matthew]

Oh, My, God.
You ignorant boob.
If looking at cock made you gay, every man who ever took a shower would be gay.
I can only hope your flip remark was a feeble attempt at humor.

caneadea, it's a troll. It's writing that stuff just to yank our chains. If you ignore it, it will eventually just go away.