Stag vs. Cuckold ?

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searched the topics and could not find a discussion about this so, sorry if it’s been covered before ......

For starters, I have to confess that one of my deepest rooted sexual ...... interests, ..... fetishes, ..... obsessions? ..... has been girlfriend/wife sharing. (I only reference this from a hetero. perspective as that is my primary orientation although I have read here on LPSG about open Gay relationships and/or ”cuckolding”). Anyway, I find the notion (and mental images!) of a wife, girlfriend or significant other, straying outside the boundaries of the relationship to give in to and pursue their sexual desires to be a huge turn on.

For me, I know exactly when and how this all began for me; it was a story in a Hustler magazine my older neighbor couple gave to me when I was living with my girlfriend in college. The article was entitled “The Big Suck” and told the story of a typical housewife who encounters the neighbor in the washroom of their apartment complex and, well, you know how these stories go ..... of course he was hung like a bull, had huge balls and she sucked him off, then and there (something she would never dream of doing ..... but, Oh, the excitement & lust!)

Well, ..... it had never occurred to me that women in committed relationships ..... marriage ...... could even consider such behavior, much less indulge and revel in it. Naive, I know. But, if this married woman could find her devotion and fidelity to her husband crumbling at the sight, feel, smell and taste (Imay added that bit) of this stranger’s dick ..... that meant that my girlfriend might fall prey to such carnal desires! Oh, snap! Instant hard-on and filthy, nasty jack-off sessions which continue to this day! (LOL!)

But all these years I have felt as if I didn’t completely understand or relate to what I came to realize was a very real and prevalent thing and that there was a name for it: Cuckold. A man who WANTS his girlfriend/wife/significant other to have outside sexual partners. (What on Earth?!?!) There were even variations on the theme; dating, chastity, humiliation, interracial domination, even impregnation! Whoa! I just like the idea of my gal sucking that big cock in the laundromat!'!

It was not until just recently that I “discovered” this distinction between Cuckolding and a Stag/Vixen lifestyle. When I read about those differences and that a “Stag” is motivated by her pleasure (and his) and not at all interested in humiliation or denial I realized! ........ “That’s It!”

I have seen (and enjoyed) many posts & images in these forums that lead me to believe there is a fair amount of common, “shared” interest in this Stag-Vixen, Hotwife topic and I would love to hear from others who share this interest or better yet have experience; either as the Stag, Vixen or Bull in these scenarios.

In my current relationship, we occasionally add some role-playing, “what if” scenarios and my gf has, over the past couple of years, become increasingly engaged with the conversation; “How/where would we find someone?”, “What would he do to me?”, Would it be a stranger, or someone we know?”, “Would you watch or join in?” ..... and it always hightens the sexual energy and passion, for both of us.

I suspect if/when weever do make the leap & test the waters it would be in during an erotic vacation situation where we both agree it could happen, if we feel the moment. But first I think a conversation needs to take place when we’re not having sex ..... of course, it will definitely lead to sex.

Thoughts? Ideas? Experiences?
 

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marriedasian

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if you've never experienced it then all i can say is "be careful what you wish for". remember that in fantasy land, everything goes your way. in the real world, not so much.

i've seen couples fall apart in real time at swingers parties for both the male and female counterparts. it's not something that normal people can handle and there's no turning back once it happens.


In my current relationship, we occasionally add some role-playing

the key word here is "role-playing" and not reality. she may be playing along because it may be her fantasy as well and therefore it's good for you both overall but when it's time to enter reality, who knows how she will be.

talk about it away from sex time and see how receptive she is. discuss all the scenarios that could happen and how it will make both of you feel. take it slow and don't hesitate to end this at a moments notice if either of you gets uncomfortable. this can make or break your relationship. the risk is yours to take either way it goes. good luck.
 

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searched the topics and could not find a discussion about this so, sorry if it’s been covered before ......

For starters, I have to confess that one of my deepest rooted sexual ...... interests, ..... fetishes, ..... obsessions? ..... has been girlfriend/wife sharing. (I only reference this from a hetero. perspective as that is my primary orientation although I have read here on LPSG about open Gay relationships and/or ”cuckolding”). Anyway, I find the notion (and mental images!) of a wife, girlfriend or significant other, straying outside the boundaries of the relationship to give in to and pursue their sexual desires to be a huge turn on.

For me, I know exactly when and how this all began for me; it was a story in a Hustler magazine my older neighbor couple gave to me when I was living with my girlfriend in college. The article was entitled “The Big Suck” and told the story of a typical housewife who encounters the neighbor in the washroom of their apartment complex and, well, you know how these stories go ..... of course he was hung like a bull, had huge balls and she sucked him off, then and there (something she would never dream of doing ..... but, Oh, the excitement & lust!)

Well, ..... it had never occurred to me that women in committed relationships ..... marriage ...... could even consider such behavior, much less indulge and revel in it. Naive, I know. But, if this married woman could find her devotion and fidelity to her husband crumbling at the sight, feel, smell and taste (Imay added that bit) of this stranger’s dick ..... that meant that my girlfriend might fall prey to such carnal desires! Oh, snap! Instant hard-on and filthy, nasty jack-off sessions which continue to this day! (LOL!)

But all these years I have felt as if I didn’t completely understand or relate to what I came to realize was a very real and prevalent thing and that there was a name for it: Cuckold. A man who WANTS his girlfriend/wife/significant other to have outside sexual partners. (What on Earth?!?!) There were even variations on the theme; dating, chastity, humiliation, interracial domination, even impregnation! Whoa! I just like the idea of my gal sucking that big cock in the laundromat!'!

It was not until just recently that I “discovered” this distinction between Cuckolding and a Stag/Vixen lifestyle. When I read about those differences and that a “Stag” is motivated by her pleasure (and his) and not at all interested in humiliation or denial I realized! ........ “That’s It!”

I have seen (and enjoyed) many posts & images in these forums that lead me to believe there is a fair amount of common, “shared” interest in this Stag-Vixen, Hotwife topic and I would love to hear from others who share this interest or better yet have experience; either as the Stag, Vixen or Bull in these scenarios.

In my current relationship, we occasionally add some role-playing, “what if” scenarios and my gf has, over the past couple of years, become increasingly engaged with the conversation; “How/where would we find someone?”, “What would he do to me?”, Would it be a stranger, or someone we know?”, “Would you watch or join in?” ..... and it always hightens the sexual energy and passion, for both of us.

I suspect if/when weever do make the leap & test the waters it would be in during an erotic vacation situation where we both agree it could happen, if we feel the moment. But first I think a conversation needs to take place when we’re not having sex ..... of course, it will definitely lead to sex.

Thoughts? Ideas? Experiences?
Good luck on your quest of finding someone that can bring your fantasy come alive. I have the same fantasy, but I am sure my wife will not go for it.

Several years ago, she became very close to her male co-worker. I read some of their text messages and it opened doors for many many JO sessions and even to this day. Twice during that time she lied to me and went to go see him at his other job where they hung out till late night. I remember her coming home and us having incredible sex. Then she would fall asleep and I would read her text messages which would get me going again.

I have considered taking her to a swing club where we are not forced to participate with anyone but we can mess around while others passing by can watch. Have you considered something this option?
 

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I think a lot of cuckolds had intentions of being a stag, then quickly found out they had to adapt or get written out of the picture altogether.
The tiptoe tone of OP implies to me this decision is already made for him, and he just hasn't figured it out yet.
Admittedly this is from the outside looking in, I would never tolerate any other male parties in an open relationship setting, but it seems like you'd have to be one of the rare bull type guys common to cuckold situations for one to be a sustainable stag.
 
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The first couple i ever played with was a stag/hotwife couple. He just loved seeing her with a bigger, younger guy, and they both had a great time.

Since I've been with cuck couples, totally different dynamic, and it's definitely a spectrum.

But there are plenty of women who enjoy the vixen lifestyle - not even to find, but they exist.
 

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I have a friend, for over 20 years. We have done some swapping at the local nudist resorts. We both have separate lives. There is way to much drama with other couples. I'm large, but I know she appreciates huge! Men are much easier to deal with than couples. We have evolved into stag/ vixen. I find the studs. They fit our crteria, if they want to meet. Everybody has a great afternoon! works great! I think I'm very lucky to know her...
 

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I think there are many subtle differences under the ‘cuckold’ umbrella.

The hottest experiences I’ve had came when an online pal decided to seduce my partner (male in my case) via WhatsApp. He shared the messages and photos with me in real time and I could hear my partner masturbating and cumming with him in the next room.
Id love to have taken it to the next level and watched the seduction in RL but was unsure how to organise that.

The cheating element was certainly a turn on and although I’d love to watch it happen I don’t think that I have any desire to be locked in chastity or tied up and forced to watch.

I think that it’s the bitter sting of jealousy that is the adrenaline rush …maybe this feeling can be replicated in a different way ?

Having an open relationship and bringing others back to bed is probably the adult way to achieve it but I’m fairly sure my partner would think that wasnt acceptable.
 

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I think there are many subtle differences under the ‘cuckold’ umbrella.

The hottest experiences I’ve had came when an online pal decided to seduce my partner (male in my case) via WhatsApp. He shared the messages and photos with me in real time and I could hear my partner masturbating and cumming with him in the next room.
Id love to have taken it to the next level and watched the seduction in RL but was unsure how to organise that.

The cheating element was certainly a turn on and although I’d love to watch it happen I don’t think that I have any desire to be locked in chastity or tied up and forced to watch.

I think that it’s the bitter sting of jealousy that is the adrenaline rush …maybe this feeling can be replicated in a different way ?

Having an open relationship and bringing others back to bed is probably the adult way to achieve it but I’m fairly sure my partner would think that wasnt acceptable.
I would love to hear more about this!
 

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some great advice being given here.
Let me reinforce the be careful what you wish for.

There are a few variables to this lifestyle that can be unexpected for many.
For one, there is the thrill of sleeping with another individual that is not in a relationship with you.
It all sounds fun, but if you are a guy and another guy comes along and he strips down and you and your girl and him are all naked, things change. It becomes real. Is the guy younger and more hung? Is he older and more hung? Less hung? Age and genital size become factors, in addition to fitness.
Suddenly you see this dude with a bigger dick fucking your girl, and no matter how "sensitive" or 'respectfiul" he is, he is there to outfuck you basically. And your girl will for sure play into it.

I have been in these situations and it always ends up with me cucking the other guy and him being sidelined. Even the guys that want that end up getting upset or hurt or pissy. I was with a couple where i quickly replaced the bf to become the dominant sexual partner, pounding away on her while he couldnt get it up. At first i was ok with being this dominant and even with sidelining him, but soon she wanted me to fully cuck him by me impregnating her, which devastated him, and i was like adios!

I find the better times ive had have been where the men have similar physical attributes, particularly in the penis and testicle department. My wife and i swap with another couple also in their 30's and his penis and mine are similar, his being a tad longer, while my balls larger. Its less threatening for all involved and therefore much more fun (and still healthy competitive!).
 

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I lost my gf from this fantasy. That may have been a blessing in disguise but at the time I didn't want to lose her and I did.

More info would be nice.

Did she resent the suggestion and walk out on you immediately? Did she give it a whirl and dumped you after hooking up with someone that pushed all her buttons? Did she give it a whirl and then *you* couldn't live with it afterwards?
 

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I think that anyone who explores the cuckold, cheating fantasy in real life is well aware of the risks.
The adrenaline rush of jealousy is a very addictive drug and maybe worth the gamble.
 

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More info would be nice.

Did she resent the suggestion and walk out on you immediately? Did she give it a whirl and dumped you after hooking up with someone that pushed all her buttons? Did she give it a whirl and then *you* couldn't live with it afterwards?
She was my best friend and we were in love. We were in a long distance relationship and while apart I shared with her my cuckold fantasy. She started to like it too. We acted upon it and she met some men and then told me about it. It was going fairly well until places shut down and I couldn't visit her for a year. During that time she met a narcissist and basically he poisoned her mind. When I was finally able to meet her again it was a mess. She tried to leave the guy but he threatened us and was crazy. However, in the end she had a choice, him or me and she choose him. Two weeks later she was asking for me back but she was too different.

Side note about narcissists. They will love bomb a girl, manipulate, promise and fake so many things and some girls fall for it. Once they are hooked with the narcissist then the verbal and sometimes physical abuse starts. By that point, it is apparently very hard for the girl to leave him. This part I still don't understand but learning more about it, it seems to be true. The guy can abuse the girl, fight all the time, but they have ways of manipulating the girl to stay. They will also isolate her from her friends and anyone who cares about her and tries to help.

So if you want to act out this fantasy, be sure to look out for signs the bull might be a narcissist in need of a new supply.
 
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I think that anyone who explores the cuckold, cheating fantasy in real life is well aware of the risks.
The adrenaline rush of jealousy is a very addictive drug and maybe worth the gamble.
It is addicting and like any addiction you need constant self awareness and need to reflect from time to time. If it gets too carried away it's time to step back and let it build up again so lower levels are exciting again.

I went into it thinking that if a guy could steal her away through this fantasy then she wasn't the one for me. I believed a bond would be so tight and strong that this wouldn't be a risk. I don't know how I feel about this now. It might still be true but I know if I would have done a few things differently, I would probably still be with her. Would I have been happy ending up with her in marriage? I'm not sure about that so I don't know. Maybe this fantasy saved me from choosing the wrong girl. A lot of things about her were revealed through this.
 

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She was my best friend and we were in love. We were in a long distance relationship and while apart I shared with her my cuckold fantasy. She started to like it too. We acted upon it and she met some men and then told me about it. It was going fairly well until places shut down and I couldn't visit her for a year. During that time she met a narcissist and basically he poisoned her mind. When I was finally able to meet her again it was a mess. She tried to leave the guy but he threatened us and was crazy. However, in the end she had a choice, him or me and she choose him. Two weeks later she was asking for me back but she was too different.

Side note about narcissists. They will love bomb a girl, manipulate, promise and fake so many things and some girls fall for it. Once they are hooked with the narcissist then the verbal and sometimes physical abuse starts. By that point, it is apparently very hard for the girl to leave him. This part I still don't understand but learning more about it, it seems to be true. The guy can abuse the girl, fight all the time, but they have ways of manipulating the girl to stay. They will also isolate her from her friends and anyone who cares about her and tries to help.

So if you want to act out this fantasy, be sure to look out for signs the bull might be a narcissist in need of a new supply.

I know this is not going to be a popular opinion, but I honestly don't believe that, in most cases anyway, "long distance" relationships qualify as real relationships. They have a high tendency to fail for any number of reasons; whether or not you talk your girl into trying out a bit of cuckold play.
 
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ant34

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I know this is not going to be a popular opinion, but I honestly don't believe that, in most cases anyway, "long distance" relationships qualify as real relationships. They have a high tendency to fail for any number of reasons; whether or not you talk your girl into trying out a bit of cuckold play.
Yeah, I would honestly say distance was a factor and I usually refuse to be in them because they aren't good but we had a plan for her to come to my country and be together. We just got delayed because of the pandemic. This other man turned out to be physically and verbally abusive to her, yet she decided to stay with him. Not sure a girl will choose an abusive guy because he lives closer but maybe. Two weeks after we broke up she asked for me back but I said no.

When we did see each other we would every single day together for months and travelled together. We were quite close.
 
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