Studs and Players

petite

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Posts
7,199
Media
2
Likes
146
Points
208
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Female
Alpha, I completely disagree with your definition and I consider it victim-blaming. I agree with NSDB. In my experience, a lot of the guys considered "players" are liars. They fake more interest than they really have. They make up stories and claim to have feelings they don't really have. And I know women who have fallen for those lies, who didn't know the reputation that those guys had, women who have gotten really hurt because they believed that something real was happening, women I would never consider "slutty" for any reason at all because they weren't promiscuous but beautiful, intelligent, genuine, sincere, but possibly naive and inexperienced. Guys like that are con artists and the fact that they would take advantage of someone else's positive outlook on the world, well that just makes those guys assholes.

I read the OP. That one woman on vacation, she cried. Obviously she believed that he was into her so he said or did things to make her believe it, which really makes him a douchebag if he wasn't actually into her, doesn't it? If I intentionally played with a young, naive, and inexperienced guy's emotions and made him believe that I loved him or was seriously romantically interested in him just to have sex with his big peen, then dumped him and broke his heart when I got tired of him, and I did that over and over again, wouldn't that make me a heartless and cruel Megabitch? It's no different when the sexes are reversed. Playing with other people's emotions is always wrong. Period. Considering that some sort of fun past-time is almost unforgivably cruel, especially when you witness the destructive power of that kind of attitude towards other people. But a guy got laid, right? So who cares about the hardened hearts and tears? She must be a slut?
 
Last edited:

B_Bjen2848

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Posts
942
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
103
Location
Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
If a woman truly care about you, then she shouldn't sleep with you until she 'has' you. That's why she needs a warning about your belief system. She'd need to increase her value in your eyes first. She'd have to play your game.

*sigh* Games make me very tired.

As to Catherine Zeta-Jones? Well, her mental illness did make the cover of People magazine so it's not a secret. Or you could Google it if you don't trust me.

I hate games as well, getting to know someone & what they're all about isn't a game...

If it's a girl who I actually care about more than sexually, I'm gonna try to get to know her

If it's a girl who is smoking hot but has no other qualities that interest me, than I'm not gonna waste my time, if she isn't down for sex than I'll keep it moving

I see nothing wrong with this "systen" (as you say) I'm sure there are guys in your life who were nothing more to you than sex, why is it mysoginistic if I have the same view for women? Yeah, I'm "using" her for sex, but is that really that bad or any different than what 100% of people do in this world? People use people for sex all the time. What about people you work with? Aren't you just using them for business? What about people who you are good friends with? Technically you're just using them for a good time. What about when you go to McDonalds? You're just using the burger flipper for your food. People use people oALL the time, the difference is when a man uses a woman for just sex that is seemed as wrong for some reason.

Personally, CZJ isn't my example of a perfect woman, I believe alpha said that lol, my example of a perfect woman is completely different (I'd never date an actress) but I was continuing off his example because CZJ wasn't the topic, she was just an example
 

B_Bjen2848

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Posts
942
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
103
Location
Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
i'm curious as to what dear, sweet, old grandma would make of the posts and attitudes in this thread.

Actually, me & my grandmother are very close & I go to her with advice all the time, she's the one who helped me shape my opinions over the years because she's open, honest & not judgemental. Yeah we disagree on things, but she had no problems with me sleeping around (idk why she would, it is my life btw lol) all she cares about is me being safe (condoms) & not to fall in love with a "player" type of women because they usually have different motives (hense why you see so many athletes with multiple baby's momma's) & when I do find the girl who I really care for & might marry that her character is of high standing
 

bobg4400

Loved Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2011
Posts
2,718
Media
1
Likes
521
Points
258
Location
UK
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
Bjen-Just stop talking.

Anyway, Imo I don't think people should lie in order to coerce someone into having sex with them, either by faking a personality of some kind or just outright lying to make them seem awesome like claiming they're an astronaut or something.

a person, of either gender, who sleeps with people they neither like nor respect is lowering their own value.

Also this. It's pretty much exactly what I was thinking while reading some of the posts. If everyone stuck to that it woould solve a lot of the problems and issues people have about sex.
 

dolfette

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,303
Media
0
Likes
108
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
Also this. It's pretty much exactly what I was thinking while reading some of the posts. If everyone stuck to that it woould solve a lot of the problems and issues people have about sex.
i'm clever & shit :smile:

when you start having to make whatever group you're defining yourself as belonging to the excepting to all those harsh, judgemental rules? chances are you're deluding yourself.
 
Last edited:

B_Bjen2848

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Posts
942
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
103
Location
Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Bjen-Just stop talking.

Anyway, Imo I don't think people should lie in order to coerce someone into having sex with them, either by faking a personality of some kind or just outright lying to make them seem awesome like claiming they're an astronaut or something.



Also this. It's pretty much exactly what I was thinking while reading some of the posts. If everyone stuck to that it woould solve a lot of the problems and issues people have about sex.

If you're gonna call me out at least have the stones to address what your problem with me is smh

Idk why you feel the need to try & belittle what I'm saying

& if you didn't want to talk to me you should have kept your mouth shut

... Idk why people feel the need to go after others :-/
 

B_penispenispenis37

Experimental Member
Joined
May 30, 2010
Posts
497
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
53
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
If you're gonna call me out at least have the stones to address what your problem with me is smh

Idk why you feel the need to try & belittle what I'm saying

& if you didn't want to talk to me you should have kept your mouth shut

... Idk why people feel the need to go after others :-/

You are a misogynistic douchebag that spouts inane bullshit that is apparently not sexist because your grandma said so

Happy now?
 

B_Bjen2848

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Posts
942
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
103
Location
Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
You are a misogynistic douchebag that spouts inane bullshit that is apparently not sexist because your grandma said so

Happy now?

To you I might be a douchebag, to others I might be a good person, nbd, opinions are like iPods, everybody has one

& I don't see how I am sexist or how what I said is bullshit

If you tell me what exactly I said that is sexist or bullshit I will apoligize for spewing it or defend my opinion accordingly (no need to try & get personal & act all hard over the internet just because you disagree with them)

If people would talk out their issues like an adult instead of coming at them sideways there would be no issues in the world, but I guess acting like an adult is too much to ask for?
 

AlphaMale

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Posts
3,055
Media
35
Likes
5,477
Points
468
Location
USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
Alpha, I completely disagree with your definition and I consider it victim-blaming. I agree with NSDB. In my experience, a lot of the guys considered "players" are liars. They fake more interest than they really have. They make up stories and claim to have feelings they don't really have. And I know women who have fallen for those lies, who didn't know the reputation that those guys had, women who have gotten really hurt because they believed that something real was happening, women I would never consider "slutty" for any reason at all because they weren't promiscuous but beautiful, intelligent, genuine, sincere, but possibly naive and inexperienced. Guys like that are con artists and the fact that they would take advantage of someone else's positive outlook on the world, well that just makes those guys assholes...

Wait, what? :confused: I still never gave any definition of what I personally think a slut is. I said how people commonly use the word and what the denotative meaning of the word is. Neither of which, is anything that I've been talking about with any of my posts on this thread. I don't even know how the whole "slut" thing got started honestly. It certainly wasn't by me and I never responded to that directly.

What I have been saying is that their is a type of airheaded person who can't see when someone is bullshitting them (and that type of person has absolutely nothing to do with anyone who is a slut). They are just naive people. I never said that an airheaded person that falls for a player is a slut. Those are two very different things. And yes, I think the blame should be more on the player than the naive person.

==

Other than that, I completely agree with everything you said.
 
Last edited:

B_penispenispenis37

Experimental Member
Joined
May 30, 2010
Posts
497
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
53
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
I certainly don't care about whether or not you apologize, it seems to be beyond you why people react the way they do to your posts. So I answered your question.


I'm doing you a favor in explaining to you why people don't like you, so you better appreciate it.

"To be a stud, it requires a decent job/high-ish social status, good looks, good social skills etc... That's why studs are considered good

To be a slut, all you need is a vagina or a mouth.. That's why they are kinda looked down on in society compared to guys,"

It's stuff like that that makes you sound like a shit-spiget. Completely arbitrary misogyny. These are your preconceived notions (thanks to your stupid grandmother), not inherent truths of society. The difference is most people (especially the ones calling you out) recognize that about the only thing that is true is the inherent equality between men and women.
 

B_Bjen2848

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Posts
942
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
103
Location
Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I certainly don't care about whether or not you apologize, it seems to be beyond you why people react the way they do to your posts. So I answered your question.


I'm doing you a favor in explaining to you why people don't like you, so you better appreciate it.

"To be a stud, it requires a decent job/high-ish social status, good looks, good social skills etc... That's why studs are considered good

To be a slut, all you need is a vagina or a mouth.. That's why they are kinda looked down on in society compared to guys,"

It's stuff like that that makes you sound like a shit-spiget. Completely arbitrary misogyny. These are your preconceived notions (thanks to your stupid grandmother), not inherent truths of society. The difference is most people (especially the ones calling you out) recognize that about the only thing that is true is the inherent equality between men and women.


If I came off as a mysoginist with that remark, I apoligize, because I'm not one.

I think I'm a bit blunt when I speak/type so let me fix what I said

Someone asked why "studs/players" who are guys are put above "studs/players" who are women

My response was to mean this...

In general, who tend to be thought of as more promiscuous, men or women? Exactly, men

Also, in general, it is men who have to court the women, we have to prove ourselves worthy for the female to let us have sex

With that being said, it is the woman who is in control with weither or not a man has sex because 9 times out of 10 all a woman has to do to "court" a man is to be hot, whereas a man has to be smart, cute, interesting, smooth etc. For a woman to be even interested, let alone have sex with her (again, generally speaking)

So, knowing that women have the control, not many guys are going to take a girl seriously/try too hard to court if she is out bangin any guy with a pulse. Their thinking will be "wait, so you got with all these guys, yet you expect me to take you out on a date, get to know you etc b/c all of a sudden now sex is this important thing when before it wasn't? NEXT" .. They won't take her serious.. This is how guys think, I'm not saying it is right, moral, better .. Its just how it is, & everyone knows this is how guys think, & to say I'm sexist for pointing this out is like me calling a financial adviser mean for saying someone is broke because they don't manage their money correctly.

On the flipside, when a guy is able to court a lot of women, he usually is doing something right in life. Women aren't attracted to losers (for the most part). Everyone knows all parts being equal, it is a lot easier for a woman to get laid by a guy than a man to get laid by a woman. This is why I said the statement you have such an issue with (even though you've yet to prove me wrong)

With all that being said, I never said I believe it is morally right or whatever, it just is what it is, & for you to call me out as if I said something mean (like calling someone a douchebag, no wait, that was you with the personal attack) just makes you look like a fool...
 

petite

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Posts
7,199
Media
2
Likes
146
Points
208
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Female
This is how guys think, I'm not saying it is right, moral, better .. Its just how it is, & everyone knows this is how guys think, & to say I'm sexist for pointing this out is like me calling a financial adviser mean for saying someone is broke because they don't manage their money correctly.

Your "reality" is not shared by all men, and it's offensive to defend your belief system by claiming that you're just being a spokesperson on the behalf of All Men Everywhere. It's also offensive to simply say that "it's the way it is, sorry if it's not fair." A person with character would not think that way. Someone else's racism would not make it acceptable for me to be racist. Someone else's misogyny does not make it acceptable for you to be a misogynist.
 
Last edited:

B_Bjen2848

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Posts
942
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
103
Location
Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Your "reality" is not shared by all men, and it's offensive to defend your belief system by claiming that you're just being a spokesperson on the behalf of All Men Everywhere. It's also offensive to simply say that "it's the way it is, sorry if it's not fair." A person with character would not think that way. Someone else's racism would not make it acceptable for me to be racist. Someone else's misogyny does not make it acceptable for you to be a misogynist.

Of course it is not shared by all men, I never said it was lol

For you to put words in my mouth is just as offensive, ma'am. When have I ever claimed I'm the spokesperson on behalf of all men everywhere? If I ever did say that, I'd like to retract those statements immediately, I don't think I could handle all that pressure haha

& what I said is not misogynist (spell check?)

Another thing..

Again, I never said this is the way it should be, someone asked why people think this way & I explained why

Would you blame a market analyst for the recession because he explained how the stock market went to shit? Would you blame the weatherman for hurricane katrina? No

So why spew false claims of sexism, if I am so wrong, why don't you stop with the childish insults & prove me wrong?

That's another thing, I have not personally attacked one person, so why do any of you feel the need to personally attack me (calling me a douchebag, sexist etc) .. Any fool can personally attack someone for their ideas, theories, etc. It just makes you look petty because you're too busy thinking of lame insults instead of actually having a discussion, it doesn't work anywhere else (imagine obama calling romney a douchebag or vise/versa, yeah it would attract more ratings, but it wouldn't mean anything & show their lack of mental capacity to actually prove them wrong)
 
Last edited:

LaFemme

Mythical Member
Staff
Moderator
Verified
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Aug 16, 2010
Posts
40,872
Media
2
Likes
38,886
Points
743
Location
Canada
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
If I came off as a mysoginist with that remark, I apoligize, because I'm not one.

Maybe not, but you don't seem to understand women very well. Women who may have periods of promiscuity in their lives may do so for various reasons: sexual empowerment, past abuse, exploration, resolving previous relationship issues, etc. It's not all just about weakness of character.

I think I'm a bit blunt when I speak/type so let me fix what I said

Someone asked why "studs/players" who are guys are put above "studs/players" who are women

My response was to mean this...

In general, who tend to be thought of as more promiscuous, men or women? Exactly, men

Also, in general, it is men who have to court the women, we have to prove ourselves worthy for the female to let us have sex

With that being said, it is the woman who is in control with weither or not a man has sex because 9 times out of 10 all a woman has to do to "court" a man is to be hot, whereas a man has to be smart, cute, interesting, smooth etc. For a woman to be even interested, let alone have sex with her (again, generally speaking)

Really? I know lots of men who aren't even that selective. And that makes those 'stud/players' better than female 'stud/players'?

So, knowing that women have the control, not many guys are going to take a girl seriously/try too hard to court if she is out bangin any guy with a pulse. Their thinking will be "wait, so you got with all these guys, yet you expect me to take you out on a date, get to know you etc b/c all of a sudden now sex is this important thing when before it wasn't? NEXT" .. They won't take her serious.. This is how guys think, I'm not saying it is right, moral, better .. Its just how it is, & everyone knows this is how guys think, & to say I'm sexist for pointing this out is like me calling a financial adviser mean for saying someone is broke because they don't manage their money correctly.

On the flipside, when a guy is able to court a lot of women, he usually is doing something right in life. Women aren't attracted to losers (for the most part). Everyone knows all parts being equal, it is a lot easier for a woman to get laid by a guy than a man to get laid by a woman. This is why I said the statement you have such an issue with (even though you've yet to prove me wrong)

With all that being said, I never said I believe it is morally right or whatever, it just is what it is, & for you to call me out as if I said something mean (like calling someone a douchebag, no wait, that was you with the personal attack) just makes you look like a fool...

Oh, Bjen. Guys getting laid all the time aren't doing a lot of 'courting'. Unless you call buying a girl a drink, courting. And women are attracted to entirely too many losers. Yes, it's easy for a woman to get laid - men just aren't that choosy when it comes to sex. So this makes men better as 'studs/players'? I find that reasoning flawed.

Men who are playing a lot of women are not doing something right in life, no more than a women who is playing a lot of men. Playing people, in my opinion, isn't a good thing. Playing is for kids, not for adults. People are not toys.

I agree with Petite. Don't say that this is how guys think. Not all guys think this way. I think that as a person matures, things become less black & white and there is room for more shades of gray. Again, everyone has a story. When I meet someone I care about, they come to me with exactly the right amount of lovers - whether it be zero or a thousand. Their story is what makes them who they are and what makes them the person I love.
 

petite

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Posts
7,199
Media
2
Likes
146
Points
208
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Female
Of course it is not shared by all men, I never said it was lol

For you to put words in my mouth is just as offensive, ma'am. When have I ever claimed I'm the spokesperson on behalf of all men everywhere? If I ever did say that, I'd like to retract those statements immediately, I don't think I could handle all that pressure haha

You didn't say, "This is how I think" you said:

This is how guys think, I'm not saying it is right, moral, better .. Its just how it is, & everyone knows this is how guys think, & to say I'm sexist for pointing this out is like me calling a financial adviser mean for saying someone is broke because they don't manage their money correctly.

No. They don't. Some guys do and I feel sorry for them for thinking that way, but I've been deeply loved by great men, wonderful sexy intelligent men who do not think that way because that's not how they view the world and it's not how they place value on other human beings. For example, I've had 10 times the number of lovers as TheBoyfriend, my best friend and the father of my child, and he doesn't give a damn about any of that and we're happy together and madly in love with each other. You have no idea what you might be missing out on because of misplaced values that don't make a bit of difference in the long run.

I understand that you have a fear of the lowest common denominator and being taken advantage of and you're looking for a simplistic system of dividing the world into the worthy and the unworthy, but it's not that simple and by viewing the world that way, you turn yourself into the lowest common denominator and you make yourself shallower than I think you want to be. Buried in what you write is a clear desire to be seen as someone respected and to be a person of character, but your method and the opinions you've expressed are actually ones that make people look down on you for their misogyny, which is a bit ironic.
 
Last edited: