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deleted1846971

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Ladies, thank you.

I don’t know if I’ve ever posted in this forum, but I read it weekly. I always walk away enjoying my read. Early on I got in trouble for forgetting where I was and posting. Since then I swear I’ve tried to come up with a great question for you all, but it hasn’t hit me yet.

Honestly I just want to say thank you for keeping it fun, informative and interesting here. I know per the rules I need to ask a question so here is a quick one:

What is ONE thing you wish men understood, knew or accepted? Your answer cannot mention penis size (I know you’re heartbroken about missing out one yet another peen question ;)).

Thank you!
 
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Holly Doors

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Ladies, thank you.

I don’t know if I’ve ever posted in this forum, but I read it weekly. I always walk away enjoying my read. Early on I got in trouble for forgetting where I was and posting. Since then I swear I’ve tried to come up with a great question for you all, but it hasn’t hit me yet.

Honestly I just want to say thank you for keeping it fun, informative and interesting here. I know per the rules I need to ask a question so here is a quick one:

What is ONE thing you wish men understood, knew or accepted? Your answer cannot mention penis size (I know you’re heartbroken about missing out one yet another peen question ;)).

Thank you!

I wish men would understand that if we're going out out it can take a while for us ladies to get ready if you're a woman like myself who likes to dress up, do makeup and hair. These things take time and I'm a person who never wants to spend any more time than necessary on it. However, I like to take a relaxing bath first, pick out what I'm wearing, do my makeup and hair, change what I'm wearing Lol. It's no good starting to ask 'are you nearly ready yet' after only half an hour Lol, I mean my husband just has a shower, sorts his hair and beard in minutes and throws some clothes on and he's done. Maybe if you guys did something else for a while before you got ready we'd be ready at the same time, wishful thinking hahaha X
 
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LaFemme

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Thanks for such a kind message!

What I wish some men understood, is that women aren’t a separate species. We can be talked with, spent time with, without tricks or tips to engage us. Trying to manipulate us into sex, trying to “figure” us out is a waste of time. Just view us as mutual human beings.
 
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+1 to LaFemme. Adding that probably the most attractive thing about a man (well, person in general) is the ability to be yourself. Just BE. Let us know the real you. Don't step it up at first and expect us to be ok with "less" later. Don't cover your insecurities... we probably don't care anyway and we'll likely feel misled if you hide them. Don't judge us by what another woman did in the past. Accept us as individuals.
 
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I wish men would understand that if we're going out out it can take a while for us ladies to get ready if you're a woman like myself who likes to dress up, do makeup and hair. These things take time and I'm a person who never wants to spend any more time than necessary on it. However, I like to take a relaxing bath first, pick out what I'm wearing, do my makeup and hair, change what I'm wearing Lol. It's no good starting to ask 'are you nearly ready yet' after only half an hour Lol, I mean my husband just has a shower, sorts his hair and beard in minutes and throws some clothes on and he's done. Maybe if you guys did something else for a while before you got ready we'd be ready at the same time, wishful thinking hahaha X
Good point. I admit I have been guilty of this lol. I love the finished product, but get impatient sometimes. Point taken.
 
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+1 to LaFemme. Adding that probably the most attractive thing about a man (well, person in general) is the ability to be yourself. Just BE. Let us know the real you. Don't step it up at first and expect us to be ok with "less" later. Don't cover your insecurities... we probably don't care anyway and we'll likely feel misled if you hide them. Don't judge us by what another woman did in the past. Accept us as individuals.
Agree with this 100%!

Pet and I worked out because I was able to be myself 100% of the time and she was able to unapologetically be herself 100% of the time. Sometimes this meant showing flaws and risking the relationship ending, but that risk was worth the freedom of being true to yourself with flaws and all. It’s the only way to make a relationship work imo.
 
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Oh, and if you find one of "us" (meaning women who are willing to talk openly about sex), don't assume that it's a green light for booty. Just because we like sex means we'll have it with you.
I get that.

On a semi related note in my experience women are far more sexual than society gives them credit for being. I’ve found women largely love sex including those who don’t discuss it openly. Some people, men and women, just don’t like to discuss sex with others. Some of this is personal, but some of it is learned behavior due to societal expectations. Basically society either conditions or presents men to be hyper sexual and women asexual. In reality women and men are sexually more alike than they’re different. Of course this isn’t true for everyone, but it’s my observation.

I might come up with another thread for this. Could be an interesting conversation. Ending my random thoughts.
 
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Thanks for such a kind message!

What I wish some men understood, is that women aren’t a separate species. We can be talked with, spent time with, without tricks or tips to engage us. Trying to manipulate us into sex, trying to “figure” us out is a waste of time. Just view us as mutual human beings.
+1
I tried the manipulations when I was younger. It doesn’t work for anything that is worth having. Similar to what @lurker23 said earlier I think the confidence to be yourself is the most attractive in a relationship.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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Women have hair. Some of us keep it. And it doesn’t make us lesbian (loving other women makes a woman a lesbian), or potheads, or less than human.
It makes us real, and living our truth.

that said, it’s ok to have an opinion that doesn’t include us in your dating pool. just don’t be a dick about it.
 

ChanelleNo5

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That I don't always need you to "fix" everything. If you ask me why I'm down or whatever and I decide to open up and tell you, be supportive. Give me a hug and a forehead kiss and maybe offer to make me some wontons. I don't need you to fix whatever it is, just listen sometimes without dissecting it apart please. :)
 
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That I don't always need you to "fix" everything. If you ask me why I'm down or whatever and I decide to open up and tell you, be supportive. Give me a hug and a forehead kiss and maybe offer to make me some wontons. I don't need you to fix whatever it is, just listen sometimes without dissecting it apart please. :)
This is one of the hardest things to do. I swear. I understand what you’re saying though. It’s just as soon as a woman I care about starts explaining a problem or explaining why she is sad my mind becomes solution oriented. I want to address and fix the problem because, in my mind, this will make her happy and making her smile is one of my top jobs in a relationship.

I know this is not how most women think because I’ve heard this same advice repeatedly. It’s just hard to reword my own brain, but I’m trying. I’m still working on not trying to fix everything immediately. I’ve begun using a few simple questions after the explanation: “Is there anything I can do for you right now? Anything to make you feel better? Or do you just want to chill? I’m cool either way. We can chill together”. Then I STFU and give whatever she wants.
 
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Women have hair. Some of us keep it. And it doesn’t make us lesbian (loving other women makes a woman a lesbian), or potheads, or less than human.
It makes us real, and living our truth.

that said, it’s ok to have an opinion that doesn’t include us in your dating pool. just don’t be a dick about it.
There is some hair I don’t prefer, but I understand completely.
 

Scarletbegonia

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Realize that being on the make constantly is profoundly off-putting.

While there’s a bit of fun in being pursued, hunted is entirely different. And objectifying. And objectification is a limited fetish.

on fetishes and kinks, find a line between leading with them and waiting six months. If you are kinky, don’t fish in Lake Vanilla. Inversely, if you are vanilla, don’t fake interest in kinks with a kinky woman.
Yes there’s a grey area, for those who dabble but aren’t “dependent” on particular acts.
See also, fantasy isn’t a wish list of reality and porn isn’t real.
The above also applies to political views and faith.
 
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deleted1846971

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Realize that being on the make constantly is profoundly off-putting.

While there’s a bit of fun in being pursued, hunted is entirely different. And objectifying. And objectification is a limited fetish.

on fetishes and kinks, find a line between leading with them and waiting six months. If you are kinky, don’t fish in Lake Vanilla. Inversely, if you are vanilla, don’t fake interest in kinks with a kinky woman.
Yes there’s a grey area, for those who dabble but aren’t “dependent” on particular acts.
See also, fantasy isn’t a wish list of reality and porn isn’t real.
The above also applies to political views and faith.
There is a lot here. Thanks!

“If you are kinky, don’t fish in Lake Vanilla. Inversely, if you are vanilla, don’t fake interest in kinks with a kinky woman.” THIS! You’re setting both of us up for failure either way. Good on pointing out there is a safe spot between introducing yourself as “Hi my name is Max and I love my elbows tied back and licked” and not hinting at that little piece of information for a year. I think most people can naturally find the sweet spot if they have a connection with one another. If that connection isn’t there the sweet spot will be harder to stumble upon.

“Objectification is a limited fetish” I like this. Do you mind expounding a bit on this thought?

Thank you for your input!
 

Scarletbegonia

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There is a lot here. Thanks!

“If you are kinky, don’t fish in Lake Vanilla. Inversely, if you are vanilla, don’t fake interest in kinks with a kinky woman.” THIS! You’re setting both of us up for failure either way. Good on pointing out there is a safe spot between introducing yourself as “Hi my name is Max and I love my elbows tied back and licked” and not hinting at that little piece of information for a year. I think most people can naturally find the sweet spot if they have a connection with one another. If that connection isn’t there the sweet spot will be harder to stumble upon.

“Objectification is a limited fetish” I like this. Do you mind expounding a bit on this thought?

Thank you for your input!
Ok, Elbow Lickee Max....
(I'd say that is a within the first few weeks comment)
I am a blabberfingers extraordinaire and can expound/lip off at length.
Guys care about length, I've learned.
:)

Objectifying people is psychologically dangerous.
An entire generation of my people was destroyed because a charismatic leader made us the scapegoat of a nations problems.

It's the basis of violence, of genocide.

It's also rude on a one on one level.
This is why one should be kind to service workers, for example.
Recognize humanity.

Objectification creates an other, and we need to get beyond that limited view.

Now, in certain relationships or even one night scenarios, feeling objectified by someone you trust (I'm leaving out folx with mental issues who seek this randomly) can be incredibly arousing. Even at just one point in an evening.

Its similar to being subservient as a way to hand decision making over to someone else.

Am a babbling, or is this making sense?
 
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deleted1846971

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Ok, Elbow Lickee Max....
(I'd say that is a within the first few weeks comment)
I am a blabberfingers extraordinaire and can expound/lip off at length.
Guys care about length, I've learned.
:)

Objectifying people is psychologically dangerous.
An entire generation of my people was destroyed because a charismatic leader made us the scapegoat of a nations problems.

It's the basis of violence, of genocide.

It's also rude on a one on one level.
This is why one should be kind to service workers, for example.
Recognize humanity.

Objectification creates an other, and we need to get beyond that limited view.

Now, in certain relationships or even one night scenarios, feeling objectified by someone you trust (I'm leaving out folx with mental issues who seek this randomly) can be incredibly arousing. Even at just one point in an evening.

Its similar to being subservient as a way to hand decision making over to someone else.

Am a babbling, or is this making sense?
This is making absolute sense. Don't stop your blabberfingers now! I like where your mind is going on this. I am going to respond on some points, but I like this. I’m thoroughly enjoying listening to your thought process and the reasons for it.

I love it!
 
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Btw I won’t be able to give a properly blabberfingered response until later, but I am definitely reading this. @Scarletbegonia