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Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by Rikter8, Dec 31, 2011.
How would you take that comment if you were getting ready to be intimate with someone?
"There's the door" or "Byeeee"
[Depending on whose place you're at]
If you're about to have sex (for the first time with a new partner), I find the exciting thing is finding out what they look like under those clothes - no matter what they reveal. I love those things that make the person real: a scar, some birthmark, whatever.
That comment was just plain rude and unneccessary. Whether someone conforms to someone's preferred body type or not - you could still have a good time together.
Those with open minds always have great sex; those with closed minds are still looking for "that exciting someone". I've never had bad sex :smile:
"ah you say the most romantic things"........asshole
if i were the fat person, i think i would graciously accept he was being nice..
(obviously squeeze his balls and tell him to fuck off, if i detected cynicism)
if i were the other, well i imagine i would be 'into' larger persons, so i would be sincere about it....make sense?
mm trying to grasp it myself..oh well WTF, got this NEW year to think about it.
It's called "tact." That's why I always say "I like beefy guys" instead of saying fat. It sounds much nicer.
It depends on the context. If the person just announces a guy is fat for no reason, it's probably pretty rude. If the guy gets naked and is self-conscious about his weight, it can be a compassionate reassurance.
And everyone knows "beefy" and stuff like that is a euphemism for "fat," so if you're going to say anything you might as well not insult the person with the assumption that they won't detect you putting a polite spin on it.
I hosted in my home.
First time with this guy.
I was the "fat" one
I didn't take it as derogatory but it still hurt, and I think he just didn't think before he said it...
But...then again...I dunno, that's why im asking.
Oh I agree. I always make a point to highlight the features that make the person unique and encorporate it into my routine.
This one had some body issues which he claimed to be self conscious about, and I simply said, its cool and I dont mind. I worked it and lowered the stress and frustration around it. I did offer a suggestion on how to cure it in a very friendly polite and helpful way - but it didn't kill the evening. I worked that shit!
Yeah, I'd prefer to be called "cuddly"... Fat just isn't a nice word.
I would take it as great encouragement, because I *AM* fat :biggrin1:
well if you're fat, you're fat. why be ashamed of it? if you don't plan to lose the weight then you might as well embrace who you are.
my weight has gone up and down my entire life. when i was a kid and people called me fat it used to bother me. as i got older not so much. last time i put on weight and people called me fat i embraced it. plus I have self-depreciating humor. I'd make fun of my own weight. ontop of that i was still a very confident dude.
hell my own mother would call me a big bitch, lard ass, fat cow, fat fuck etc... I've heard em all. after while words just don't break you.
In the African-American community, some, if not most of our black males and females, are called thick -- not fat....or, the words, "he or she is big boned!" It's always been acceptable, e.g., Monique, Queen LaTeefah (spelling?), and many others.
It boils down to preferences, but no one should insult someone's weight or height: it is, what it is. If you don't like it -- move on.
My mother and her friends used to echo these sentiments: "Denise, there's something out here for everyone." Momma didn't lie.
black people do not consider monique and queen latifa "thick" or big boned. them heifers are called fat.
and 'big boned' or 'healthy' would be a stocky or pudgy person.
One of my buds is always called "husky" or "beefy"... he hates that cuz he knows he is fat.. in the locker room he would have a bigger looking flaccid if he lost that huge fat pad around it...
"Me too", or words to that effect.
Or, "Cool. I like guys with glass eyes." Sumpin like that.
Randy Newman - Short People - YouTube
Randy Newman Short people
This may cheer y'all up NY day, then again dont go hatin on me short people, i am also
Using the word 'fat' to describe someone is not a compliment in anyway.
There are plenty of other "lighter" words and/or phrases that could be used instead and are less derogatory imo.
It sounds like to me he was responding to a comment you made or maybe you were being self conscious and he sensed it. If the word hurt you it means you are uncomfortable with you. He apparently wasn't. Get yourself to a place where you aren't.
Sounds a bit freudish dunit
Yes he could have been more tactful. Hope ya's had fun anyway.
That could be true also.
As someone who has been on both sides of the coin (I've recently lost 100+ lbs), when someone would call me fat or allude to my weight I didn't take it personally. I was fat, it was a characteristic that defined me at the time. The word fat does tend to draw up negative connotations but it all boils down to the context of how the word was used. It sounds like, in the OP's situation, that it wasn't said to be hurtful or critical.
I think if any "big-boned", "fat", "thick" whatever you wanna call it person is insulted by any of those phrases, they really have issues with their weight and appearance and should take steps to remedy...unless ofc they are of the RARE type that are like that because of a physical disorder. In that case, they need to grow a thicker skin when it comes to such terms and learn to deal with their physical condition just like any other person has to deal with a physical ailment/disease/stigma.
As a wake-up call.