The fear of female sexuality

[firsttimecaller]

^ anyone would think yr looking for an argument, mate

I can understand the latter 2, though I think there is some grey area in the latter of the latter.

If women are pissed that nice boobs make us go Heeeeeyyyyyyyoooooooo inside, they might want to talk to Sisyphus.

 

[DiamondJoe]

I can understand the latter 2, though I think there is some grey area in the latter of the latter.

If women are pissed that nice boobs make us go Heeeeeyyyyyyyoooooooo inside, they might want to talk to Sisyphus.

When I said, "Just because a man finds a woman attractive it doesn't give him the right to fuck her" I was making a point about the implication of statements like that.

News flash: Most women find this kind of entitled, somewhat rapey talk a definite turn off.

 

[DiamondJoe]

When I said, "Just because a man finds a woman attractive it doesn't give him the right to fuck her" I was making a point about the implication of statements like that.

News flash: Most women find this kind of entitled, somewhat rapey talk a definite turn off.

My best mate lost 2 girlfriends because he was more into their boobs than their faces.

Don't be a dick!

 

[286798]

Kind of.

Do you ever see a guy and think, "Mmmmm, I'd like to bury my face in that/those ________"



Semi-related...

My wife relayed an article to me a few years ago.

Gist was, the neurological response that a dude has to seeing appealing aspects of the female body is very similar to the response a woman has to seeing a bunch of kittens or a pretty butterfly.




Being that this is the second one of these:

Did I somehow infer that I feel this way?

It seems that men and women process things differently... hence the article your wife shared.

I think the reason you got the multiple inquiries was because women are often subject to cat calls/lewd comments and unwanted touches and men who feel entitled to sex just because they have desires... and we do not (generally) exhibit the same behavior. There is a gender disparity about this. Men are given a pass because "he has needs" and she's "a slut" and should act like a lady.

ETA: nothing directed at you personally

 

[firsttimecaller]

When I said, "Just because a man finds a woman attractive it doesn't give him the right to fuck her" I was making a point about the implication of statements like that.

News flash: Most women find this kind of entitled, somewhat rapey talk a definite turn off.

Rapey talk?

I said inside. Simply getting sprung on someone for superficial reasons is rapey now?

 

[286798]

If you say anything to yourself that being attracted to someone gives you the right to sex, it doesn't matter that you don't say it out loud... its still gross and objectifying.

Being attracted doesn't = entitlement

 

[firsttimecaller]

men who feel entitled to sex just because they have desires...

Men like that are obviously troglodytes.

Am I wrong in assuming these are minorities in the male population?

 

[firsttimecaller]

If you say anything to yourself that being attracted to someone gives you the right to sex, it doesn't matter that you don't say it out loud... its still gross and objectifying.

Being attracted doesn't = entitlement

Kinda responded to for your other reply.

There are non-insignificant number of guys who rationalize in this way?

Those are epic tits.
BecauseIf I find them so epic, I am allowed to rub them and pet them and call them George.
The owner of said tits has no authority over herself, because I am overcome with horniness.
QED

 

[286798]

Men like that are obviously troglodytes.

Am I wrong in assuming these are minorities in the male population?

I think you're right, but in circumstances where they feel anonymous (catcalls on the street, groping women who crowdsurf) or in situations where poor behavior is seen as "macho", *some* men who are usually at least moderately well behaved will act absolutely awful. Think about guys trips to Vegas or bachelor parties... that bad behavior is accepted. So I'd ask... is a guy who acts that way in vegas/bachelor party... is he really a decent guy???

 

[DiamondJoe]

Rapey talk?

I said inside. Simply getting sprung on someone for superficial reasons is rapey now?

"Inside"?

You've just told us what you really think on the public forums.

If you don't believe it, that suggests you're doing it for a rise. Not sure which is worse tbh.

 

[firsttimecaller]

"Inside"?

You've just told us what you really think on the public forums.

If you don't believe it, that suggests you're doing it for a rise. Not sure which is worse tbh.

What the hell are you talking about?

Inside, as in:

I see a woman who, for whatever reason, I think is really attractive.

I then think to myself...

Wow, she's ungodly hot, it would be cool if we could play together.

Simply doing that is rapey?

 

[DiamondJoe]

What the hell are you talking about?

Inside, as in:

I see a woman who, for whatever reason, I think is really attractive.

I then think to myself...

Wow, she's ungodly hot, it would be cool if we could play together.

Simply doing that is rapey?

Ok, let's run through a few things quickly.

1/ the language is reductive and objectifies
2/ it makes a superficial, somewhat crude judgement on a person who is reduced to, or even just part of them is reduced to something for your delectation and gratification
3/ it excuses this kind of behaviour by perpetuating the lie that this is "just how men are"

Men need to be better educated about and respectful towards women. It's not so hard. If you were the father of a daughter of dating age, you might think very differently about how men discuss women.

Just try thinking with something other than your penis and try to see the whole person.

It's more likely to end in amazing sex. I should know, I've had plenty!

 

[4388301]

Men like that are obviously troglodytes.

Am I wrong in assuming these are minorities in the male population?

Some dudes thought that because I fucked someone they know, they were entitled to get to fuck me too. I would not say is the majority of dudes that are that fucked in the head, but it is enough of 'em to be noticeable.

 

[286798]

I think you're right, but in circumstances where they feel anonymous (catcalls on the street, groping women who crowdsurf) or in situations where poor behavior is seen as "macho", *some* men who are usually at least moderately well behaved will act absolutely awful. Think about guys trips to Vegas or bachelor parties... that bad behavior is accepted. So I'd ask... is a guy who acts that way in vegas/bachelor party... is he really a decent guy???

Crickets. I hear crickets.


Because it doesn't suit the narrative. Color me shocked.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

(Assuming appearance = how they look)

Are you upset by the fact that appearance alone is enough to make a guy interested in sex-type-stuff?

Are you upset that they vocalize it?

Are you upset that it is not eloquently vocalized?

you are denser than corona lockdown bread.

I”m saying that yes, by the power of math, some woman somewhere has seen a dude and it’s had some impact on her libido.

Thing is, we take in information so quickly, that something other than looks alone has played into any equation.
(I’m assuming a living person face to face.)

 

[ajsk13]

While discussing this with a fellow poster it dawned on me that while much of the population from this site is considerably more open-minded than most, unrestrained female sexuality still seems to be viewed with much trepidation by the general public. We're encouraged to be sexual creatures but within certain boundaries set by religion, social mores and media. Historically speaking almost all restrictions on sexual behaviour were imposed on women and the supposed link between female sexuality and evil are well known. Take your pick: inquisition, Salem witch trials and the "witches' teat", fundamental Islam and Christianity...and so forth.

We are freer to communicate our sexuality now but I think we still have a long way to go. Are we still beholden to ancient taboos? Are we still not vocal enough about what we want? Are we being ignored?

I wonder how much this fear factors into the sexual habits of women and men.

Thoughts?

As a man. I feel the biggest limiting factor with women expressing them selves is men. Were a bunch of wolves if we sense or feel in any way a woman is interested we pounce. I feel this constant onslaught has caused women to keep these feelings bottled up. Constantly being on guard so to speak ..I personally know a lady that I love dearly, we speak a lot on the phone and I have noticed first hand the constant unwanted attention, even from married men..What do you think ladies. do the unwanted advances from men limit your ability to express your sexuality?

 

[firsttimecaller]

*some* men who are usually at least moderately well behaved will act absolutely awful. Think about guys trips to Vegas or bachelor parties... that bad behavior is accepted. So I'd ask... is a guy who acts that way in vegas/bachelor party... is he really a decent guy???

Ive honestly never been acquaintances with people who yell "compliments" at attractive strangers and get entitled-butthurt over the quip being denied or ignored.

The answer to that is probably subjective. The whole, how bad does something have to be to negate all the good?

 

[firsttimecaller]

Ok, let's run through a few things quickly.

1/ the language is reductive and objectifies
2/ it makes a superficial, somewhat crude judgement on a person who is reduced to, or even just part of them is reduced to something for your delectation and gratification
3/ it excuses this kind of behaviour by perpetuating the lie that this is "just how men are"

So, wanting to have sexy time with someone based solely on the way they look is bad?

Men need to be better educated about and respectful towards women.

Being sexually intrigued by someone who is unaware you have those thoughts is disrespectful?

 

[firsttimecaller]

you are denser than corona lockdown bread.

I love you too.

I was clarifying because the way you worded it could mean:

- how a guy looks

- a man now exists in this space

 

[286798]

As a man. I feel the biggest limiting factor with women expressing them selves is men. Were a bunch of wolves if we sense or feel in any way a woman is interested we pounce. I feel this constant onslaught has caused women to keep these feelings bottled up. Constantly being on guard so to speak ..I personally know a lady that I love dearly, we speak a lot on the phone and I have noticed first hand the constant unwanted attention, even from married men..What do you think ladies. do the unwanted advances from men limit your ability to express your sexuality?

YES!!! I have a very close friend who i feel constantly pushes my boundaries. If I send a funny, sexual meme related to something we've previously discussed, he responds with porn. Not porn that's related to a subject we've previously discussed... just porn... that he likes.

I often feel like if I crack the door, a lot of men try to barrel through it. If I give an inch, they take a foot. It's exhausting to feel like you constantly have to defend yourself and your boundaries. Kind of like another members recent post about her photos being shared on another website... i feel like its really crappy to have to curb a mutually pleasurable activity because one party can't act decent and respectful.... and it sure seems that dudes are more often on the cant act right side.

I love sex. I want to be able to talk about it, but im either labeled a slut because I feel like it's a vital part of a healthy relationship and happy life (im hardly that!!!) OR dudes act like they're gonna get it from me just because i am willing to talk about it. So I'm forced to choose between not talking about it or defending my boundaries. Neither is what I want to do. If more men were respectful of boundaries and accepting of sex positive women, this wouldn't be necessary.