The term "Power Bottom"

CUBE

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Does AndyA ring a bell with anybody else? These guys are identical twins, cloned from the same frot-crap website I won't bother linking.

Actually, Italian978, your assumptions about gay sex and gender stereotypes is way off base. But I generally take exception to straight men attempting to use their own heterosexual experience as a yardstick for judging the libidos and motivations of gay men.

You assume that there is something inevitably uneven in the power balance of gay sex when it's expressed through anal sex. This is simply untrue in my experience, and 30 years of having sex is a lot of experience. There is nothing inherently feminine or inferior (seperate concepts) in bottoming any more than there's anything inherently feminine or inferior about the person sucking a cock. And your equation of the feminine and the inferior are blatantly sexist.

The reason why is that any sex involving two men is masculine by default. As there is no woman present, it cannot be feminine.

There is also not the correlation you're implying between being butch and getting penetrated (or not). In real life with the real gay men I have sex with, we're not swish or fey, nor strutting around like lumberjacks. We're just two men who want to find pleasure in each other's bodies.

When pondering this reply, I was going to get into the dynamics of roleplay in a SM sub/dom scene, but why waste perfectly good A-List material on the likes of you?

What I will do is share a piece of wisdom imparted on me by an elder in the leather bar scene when I was in my early 20s:
It is the bottom, the submissive who holds all the power. He is the one who sets the limits, and he is the one who consents to the top. The top/dom only has as much authority as the bottom will give him.


You always explain things so well. Smart and handsome...the double whammy. Cheers
 

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Does AndyA ring a bell with anybody else? These guys are identical twins, cloned from the same frot-crap website I won't bother linking.

Actually, Italian978, your assumptions about gay sex and gender stereotypes is way off base. But I generally take exception to straight men attempting to use their own heterosexual experience as a yardstick for judging the libidos and motivations of gay men.

You assume that there is something inevitably uneven in the power balance of gay sex when it's expressed through anal sex. This is simply untrue in my experience, and 30 years of having sex is a lot of experience. There is nothing inherently feminine or inferior (seperate concepts) in bottoming any more than there's anything inherently feminine or inferior about the person sucking a cock. And your equation of the feminine and the inferior are blatantly sexist.

The reason why is that any sex involving two men is masculine by default. As there is no woman present, it cannot be feminine.

There is also not the correlation you're implying between being butch and getting penetrated (or not). In real life with the real gay men I have sex with, we're not swish or fey, nor strutting around like lumberjacks. We're just two men who want to find pleasure in each other's bodies.

When pondering this reply, I was going to get into the dynamics of roleplay in a SM sub/dom scene, but why waste perfectly good A-List material on the likes of you?

What I will do is share a piece of wisdom imparted on me by an elder in the leather bar scene when I was in my early 20s:
It is the bottom, the submissive who holds all the power. He is the one who sets the limits, and he is the one who consents to the top. The top/dom only has as much authority as the bottom will give him.

Bbucko, I wouldn't place too much credence on what an elder said to you in the leather bar scene over 20 years ago. Gays were so far in the closet back then and stereotyped far worse than they are today. You're a top so of course you're going to be all for bottoms.

A man I work with and his longtime partner don't do anal, and they take offense at people, gay or straight, who assume that they have roles (male/female, dominant/submissive, top/bottom, etc.) And he tells me there are plenty of other gay men out there who are just like them, but unfortunately society assigns them roles without even knowing them, and gays assign roles to themselves when they use those terms on personal ads and even on this website.

And it's not like we talk about our sexuality at work, but one day a woman, believe it or not, made a rude comment about men having anal, and that's when he mentioned that's not what gays were all about and that's not what he was all about either.


And since you mentioned frot, he did tell me about a website. I'd never even heard of that word before, but when I checked out that site I understood more about gay sexuality than ever before; the non stereotypical gay sexuality that we seldom hear about. This man has told many of us at work, both gay and straight, about the site, and it's all about living a life that's virtually 100% disease free and all about equality among gay males. We were all very impressed.

FROTTAGE What's Hot About Frot


This couple have avoided the gay lifestyle from the start, and have been together since they were in their late teens. They didn't get into the club scene or open relationships, and they didn't look at older gays as their role models. They chose to live their lives as gay males with no titles and none of the baggage that goes with it. In fact, he's going to start a website that's for gay men who don't want labels, and just want to live as regular people who just happen to be gay.

Bbucko, I've looked at some of your postings and you're cruising for anonymous sex partners. Not all gay men live your lifestyle. Most are monogamous and want love and something long lasting in their lives. You have every right to live your life as you see fit, but you also contracted HIV, so I'm not sure why you would condemn something as harmless as frot.

As far as you taking exception to straights using their experience to understand gays, it's no different than gays trying to understand straight behavior. I've seen plenty of posts on here by gays claiming how straight guys are just one step away from going gay, and love sex with men, yet I don't see too many posts, maybe none, about gays being one step away from going straight. It seems a little one sided if you ask me.

And none of my remarks are the least bit sexist, but if that's how you interpret them, whatever.

I'm not sure why you're all so bitter. If you can't agree to disagree then why bother to post in forums.
 

Small28

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You know better than that. Tops can get STD's but are at less risk and also will never suffer from any anal problems.
I also find it rather...peculiar...that you have so many opinions about gay sex and are presumptious enough to post them. If you are truly "99% straight" I am a little puzzled as to why you seem to be so fascinated by gay sex, and these "anal problems," whatever that means.

Anyway, your conversation with some co-worker who doesn't have anal sex, and your review of a frot website, hardly qualifies you as an expert in gay sex. I am a gay man. I have sex with men. I have had sex with men for 20 years. Some of it has been anal sex; a lot of it has been other types of sex. Whatever. I think I know a little more about gay sex than you do. Your condescending dismissal of bottoms is really offensive.

I'm sure you would take offense also if I started making generalizations about straight sex. Just as I know very little or nothing about straight sex you don't really know anything about gay sex. So please spare us your "authoritative" pronouncements based on reading a couple of web sites, talking to some gay guy you happen to know, and obsessing about "ass problems." If you were a gay man, you might have something to add to this conversation. As a straight man, supposedly, and a not very well informed one at that you are just, well...talking out of your ass.
 

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Bbucko, I wouldn't place too much credence on what an elder said to you in the leather bar scene over 20 years ago. Gays were so far in the closet back then and stereotyped far worse than they are today. You're a top so of course you're going to be all for bottoms.

A man I work with and his longtime partner don't do anal, and they take offense at people, gay or straight, who assume that they have roles (male/female, dominant/submissive, top/bottom, etc.) And he tells me there are plenty of other gay men out there who are just like them, but unfortunately society assigns them roles without even knowing them, and gays assign roles to themselves when they use those terms on personal ads and even on this website.

And it's not like we talk about our sexuality at work, but one day a woman, believe it or not, made a rude comment about men having anal, and that's when he mentioned that's not what gays were all about and that's not what he was all about either.


And since you mentioned frot, he did tell me about a website. I'd never even heard of that word before, but when I checked out that site I understood more about gay sexuality than ever before; the non stereotypical gay sexuality that we seldom hear about. This man has told many of us at work, both gay and straight, about the site, and it's all about living a life that's virtually 100% disease free and all about equality among gay males. We were all very impressed.

FROTTAGE What's Hot About Frot


This couple have avoided the gay lifestyle from the start, and have been together since they were in their late teens. They didn't get into the club scene or open relationships, and they didn't look at older gays as their role models. They chose to live their lives as gay males with no titles and none of the baggage that goes with it. In fact, he's going to start a website that's for gay men who don't want labels, and just want to live as regular people who just happen to be gay.

Bbucko, I've looked at some of your postings and you're cruising for anonymous sex partners. Not all gay men live your lifestyle. Most are monogamous and want love and something long lasting in their lives. You have every right to live your life as you see fit, but you also contracted HIV, so I'm not sure why you would condemn something as harmless as frot.

As far as you taking exception to straights using their experience to understand gays, it's no different than gays trying to understand straight behavior. I've seen plenty of posts on here by gays claiming how straight guys are just one step away from going gay, and love sex with men, yet I don't see too many posts, maybe none, about gays being one step away from going straight. It seems a little one sided if you ask me.

And none of my remarks are the least bit sexist, but if that's how you interpret them, whatever.

I'm not sure why you're all so bitter. If you can't agree to disagree then why bother to post in forums.
No STD's or labels?That FROT queen gave me crabs and venereal warts!You give gay love far to much thought. We always think of a husband as top and wife as bottom or,dominent and submissive. They are still labels(husband and wife)it defines there roles even if not true. Have your wife strap one on and FROTAWAY!It seems like an obvious direction for you anyway.
 

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I forgot, somepeople who only FROT,still pick a bottom or top position!
 

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Being called a power bottom is never a compliment and calling oneself that is degrading.

It's a phrase that the gay community coined some time ago to make the bottoms feel good about themselves. Tops need bottoms and if they didn't have them they wouldn't be able to have anal sex, so the tops praise the bottoms, tell them they are good, and the bottoms will tell others how good they are.

The bottoms are just being patronized and are given this label by other gay men who feel superior and dominant. After all, a top has nothing to lose. He's at less risk for HIV and STD's, and his bottom will never suffer any rectal damage.

It's a power play and it's also a powerful way to use a word. The top has the power not the bottom.

I have a gay friend and he and his longtime partner don't do anal at all. He was telling me that they have never been part of the whole top/bottom, male/female, dominant/submissive roles and all that encompass it. They are part of a new breed (actually it's not that new) of gay men that don't want to play those roles, but just want to be masculine equals.


Poor Italian978 -- so str8 he can't even think straight!

From one top's perspective, "power bottom" should be treated as a neutral description. It's a useful term, as it's more informative than "bottom" alone. Used more widely in net-cruising of either the seeker or the sought, it might reduce the number of "mismatches". Of course, it can be exploited as a judgmental comment, but i regard such use more revealing of the user than of the person so described.
 

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In my opinion, most of you 'str8 men have it wreong Not only is a power bottom a treat for a top but he also basically controls the sex it is often said that the top is in control .. not so often
 

B_Italian1

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Your condescending dismissal of bottoms is really offensive.

lol It's not condescending at all. Read my posts carefully. It's the guys who consider themselves tops, and the guys who consider themselves bottoms that are being condescending to each other.


In my opinion, most of you 'str8 men have it wreong Not only is a power bottom a treat for a top but he also basically controls the sex it is often said that the top is in control .. not so often

A treat? And someone called me sexist a few post back.

Ciao
 

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I was recently with a guy who never had a bottom do much more than just lay there or bounce up and down on his cock (maybe that's why bottoms are labled as passive in Europe - at least in the UK the term bottom is seldom used - which I hate 'cause I am very active) after we fucked he collapsed is a sweaty heap and said, so that's what they mean by power bottom...damn...I've never had anything like that.

I took it as so much of a compliment that it made me hard again just to hear that he enjoyed it and I grinned all the way home (after we made a date for him and his bf to fuck me together)...

No negative connotations in my mind!