The therapist says that I should never masturbate, that the only sexual activity one should have is with their spouse.
......
I am not a sex addict. Addict implies, in my mind, a repetitive behavior.
Well, in terms of specific questions you could ask your therapist (and I use that term loosely, given how you've described her approach so far), I'd ask the following direct questions, and then listen closely to her answers and explore more with her.
Q1. Why should I never masturbate?
Q2. What is the healthy psychological basis for this direction?
Q3. Why should the only sexual activity I have be with my wife?
Q4. What are the reasons behind your assumption that this is an intrinsically psychologically healthy approach?
Sub-question: I sometimes find that I get sexually aroused while taking a shower, particularly as I wash around my glans thoroughly and gently with warm, slippery, wet, soapy water. However, my wife is not in the shower with me every time this happens - is it really your professional recommendation that I now stop this activity as it can be classified as sexual, yet does not involve my wife? :wink: (For professional integrity, her answer must surely be yes - I'm hoping this question may prompt some introspection, insight and compassionate truth on her part!)
If your therapist has said you are a sex addict (which I am not clear whether she has):
Q5. What are your reasons for saying I am a sex addict?
Q6. Do you not think it is reasonable that, as a human with a sexual nature, I would seek to explore and express that, and value the opportunity to discuss aspects of sexuality with other people, not just my wife?
Q7. Do you understand that I might like to explore feelings around sexuality with other men, and women, and through the anonymity of an online forum, where I have freedom of expression without fear of offending others, as might be the case if I started talking with them to strangers on trains, my boss at work, etc.
I am serious, and I apologise that my tone is a little flippant in places. I wish to offer you a more light-hearted perspective on what I see as some ludicrous statements from your therapist.
I highly recommend considering what positives insights you have gained from the therapy so far, and what areas of insight and growth you would like to explore more. Then chat to friends to discover some other therapists in your area and their approach, and choose someone else!
I wish you all the best with it.
It's your money - support a therapist who supports you!