Trust between men

StaringIsCaring

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I am gay and long for hugs and affection from men and I don’t think it is gay exactly, just wish men would touch me more. Wearing a “free hugs” shirt can help. Lots of men want hugs but are afraid to ask.

I connect more with men as friends. I always have. It means a lot to have supportive male friends even if we just play video games together.

Recently had a friend who up until then had been shy with hugs and kind of lazy hugs, give me the best hug ever for my birthday. It means a lot and I’m still thinking about that hug.
 

Infernal

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I have a friend who is that for me. We've been friends for over 25 years. It's never been a sexual relationship, but a very honest and open one. We've seen each other go through great joys and horrible loss as well as completely fucked up relationships. We've been there for each other through all of it. Now that we live in different parts of the country we don't see each other as much as we would like. I'm married, he's still hopelessly single, but it works for him. He's the one who points out the obvious when I'm about to do something stupid, and I've done the same for him. There is no holding back between us, and even though we've said things that have pissed each other off, we both know it truly comes from a place of love. There are always hugs every time we see each other and every time we part. I only mention it because I'm going to pick him up at the airport in the morning and I need a hug from someone other than my husband.
 

spaj8987

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I disagree. I don't think there's a large need for men to be friends with other men. Same goes for women having women as friends. I do think though that we human beings need to be more logical on average. Much more logical on average. Many of the things that keep up from being able to fully connect with each other are massively illogical and mostly stupid to begin with. Sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, elitism and a bunch of other things are what's keeping all of from being closer. From giving a shit about each other enough that we then begin to think in the smallest terms humanly possible.

Much of the same is said about upbringing. That boys need men and girls need women to show them how to be blank. Which ignores the very real fact that men very well could teach girls about womanly stuff and women could teach boys about manly stuff. It's more than possible. It literally happens all the time.

The only difference is we don't see it that way. I don't think guys being friends with guys can offer anything more than guys being friends with women could offer. And vice versa. The only problem i see with that is people having ideas in their heads about each gender and assuming automatically that those ideas are true.

And then there's if society in general were more logical. That in an of itself would render more than a few of the needs for friendship based on gender moot. With more education, understanding and logic being placed in areas of sexuality instead of religion, sexism and so on there would be much less confusion, more acceptance, more understanding and generally speaking better quality of life for everybody. Less depression, less isolation, more understanding of what we have in common and so on.

If a guy wants a male friend specifically to talk shit about women without it being stereotypes then in the scenario i just said that opens up possibilities for them to do so with men, women and trans people. Same goes for women who want to talk shit about men.

So no. I don't think there needs to be more friendships or trust among men. I think there needs to be more friendships, trust, logical, understanding and so on with people in general.
 
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