unconditional love

[stud_hunter]

The thing is that child abusers don`t love goodnes, beauty etc., so they eventually get what they really want, opposite of things I mentioned.

Nonsense. Child abusers are sick people that have a glaring, terrible weakness. But to say they don't love goodness or beauty is absurd.
I'm sure that Adolf Hitler, maybe the most evil person ever, could look at a beautiful painting or landscape and appreciate it. People are not all one color. And the oversimplification of human nature and the universe is yet another reason I consider religious judgment to be the drug of choice for the mentally or emotionally weak.

 

[stud_hunter]

SH, you are a truely remarkable person, I can only hope to one day be half the person you are. To approach such a terrible topic of conversation with this much clarity and unbiased views is amazing.

WOW. Well, thank you :smile: . In my (non)-defense, I think the past few years have been a huge growing experience for me, as my marriage deteriorated and ended, my son moved out, and I've become single on my own for the first time ever. The one thing I think I'm coming to terms with more than anything else is that nothing is black and white. For a long time I thought it was. It's funny that you complimented me for my "clarity", because I feel confused and conflicted all the time. I don't know, it's just that there are so many options and possibilities, and nothing is clear cut or black and white... But yes, I suppose when the topic calls for an appreciation of a gray area, that's my specialty!

 

[sexwithangel]

WOW. Well, thank you :smile: . In my (non)-defense, I think the past few years have been a huge growing experience for me, as my marriage deteriorated and ended, my son moved out, and I've become single on my own for the first time ever. The one thing I think I'm coming to terms with more than anything else is that nothing is black and white. For a long time I thought it was. It's funny that you complimented me for my "clarity", because I feel confused and conflicted all the time. I don't know, it's just that there are so many options and possibilities, and nothing is clear cut or black and white... But yes, I suppose when the topic calls for an appreciation of a gray area, that's my specialty!

I`m really glad you admit to really know shit about things you comment. I like your sharpness, but you really are conflicted so you can`t see things clear and whithout emotions. IMO you can`t really tell what`s true and what`s your or someone else`s imagination. I belive you experience a huge personal growth.

 

[stud_hunter]

I`m really glad you admit to really know shit about things you comment. I like your sharpness, but you really are conflicted so you can`t see things clear and whithout emotions. IMO you can`t really tell what`s true and what`s your or someone else`s imagination. I belive you experience a huge personal growth.

Huh? Well, um, huh?
It seems the main difference between me and you is I admit I don't have the big answers.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Huh? Well, um, huh?
It seems the main difference between me and you is I admit I don't have the big answers.

If you weren't here to say it, i would have said it for you, as you so clearly stated my own reaction, much better than I could have, to SWA claim that child molesters could not love goodness or beauty. I pray that he never faces an addiction or serious inner conflict. I worry that he is ill-equipped to survive either. I worry that he would hate himself, and hurt himself.

 

[stud_hunter]

If you weren't here to say it, i would have said it for you, as you so clearly stated my own reaction, much better than I could have, to SWA claim that child molesters could not love goodness or beauty. I pray that he never faces an addiction or serious inner conflict. I worry that he is ill-equipped to survive either. I worry that he would hate himself, and hurt himself.

It's interesting how he responded to my admission that I feel "confused and conflicted." After all, those who fear being confused and conflicted, are those who flock to religion for easy answers.

 

[sexwithangel]

It's interesting how he responded to my admission that I feel "confused and conflicted." After all, those who fear being confused and conflicted, are those who flock to religion for easy answers.

Yeah, silly thoughts go through my head, I have silly imagination. I`m trying not to repress that, but I don`t belive is truth either. I have feelings too, but I don`t think I love someone if I`m just acting like I`m in love with someone and what I really want is something else, for example I want destroy that person so I can feel big and strong. There ARE diffrent levels of truth and that is confusing. First you find out what you are as human being , you can see yourself objectivly and than you find out that you make yourself better, bigger, stronger only by accepting and loving yourself and others and not by destroying others which eventually leads to selfdestruction.

 

[sexwithangel]

I forgot to write: what you are as human being are your needs and desires.

 

[joyboytoy79]

Yeah, silly thoughts go through my head, I have silly imagination. I`m trying not to repress that, but I don`t belive is truth either. I have feelings too, but I don`t think I love someone if I`m just acting like I`m in love with someone and what I really want is something else, for example I want destroy that person so I can feel big and strong. There ARE diffrent levels of truth and that is confusing. First you find out what you are as human being , you can see yourself objectivly and than you find out that you make yourself better, bigger, stronger only by accepting and loving yourself and others and not by destroying others which eventually leads to selfdestruction.

This all sounds great. I really want to know though, how it is unconditional. Seems there are so many steps to follow...

 

[snoozan]

I really admire all of you on this thread because I can't understand a single thing that sexwithangel is saying. I want to participate but I just. don't. get. it.

I do know that, for me, all love is complex, if not conditional. Even my love for my son comes at a high price-- I have sacrificed my career, my health, and the alone time I used to cherish to raise him. Do I regret my decision? No. I would choose the same over and over again. But I can't honestly say that my love for him is without some sort of reservation. And that may exclude the "unconditional" part.

Snooz

 

[sexwithangel]

This all sounds great. I really want to know though, how it is unconditional. Seems there are so many steps to follow...

Love is normal state for human beings. After you`ve been born, your mother probably loved you unconditionally. I`s natural and common thing. Later you find out you have needs and desires and love is not so important to you anymore exepct in few special relationships, but if love isn`t lost, you know it`the greatest thing in your life.
Btw, I find these photos in your gallery very sweet, even though I`m 100% str8.:smile:

 

[joyboytoy79]

Love is normal state for human beings. After you`ve been born, your mother probably loved you unconditionally. I`s natural and common thing. Later you find out you have needs and desires and love is not so important to you anymore exepct in few special relationships, but if love isn`t lost, you know it`the greatest thing in your life.
Btw, I find these photos in your gallery very sweet, even though I`m 100% str8.:smile:

Thank you for the compliement. I fully respect any str8 male that is willing to admit he sees beauty in another male.

I don't dissagree that love is a "normal" state for humans. But normal doesn't equate with unconditional. They are two different things. For example, humans are normally sane, but only remain so if under the right conditions.

 

[sexwithangel]

I really admire all of you on this thread because I can't understand a single thing that sexwithangel is saying. I want to participate but I just. don't. get. it.

I do know that, for me, all love is complex, if not conditional. Even my love for my son comes at a high price-- I have sacrificed my career, my health, and the alone time I used to cherish to raise him. Do I regret my decision? No. I would choose the same over and over again. But I can't honestly say that my love for him is without some sort of reservation. And that may exclude the "unconditional" part.

Snooz

I would say you describe what is love perfectly. `Unconditional` doesn`t mean you don`t have `some reservation`. If you had no reservation, you wouldn`t be able to raise him and teach him anything.

 

[sexwithangel]

Thank you for the compliement. I fully respect any str8 male that is willing to admit he sees beauty in another male.

I don't dissagree that love is a "normal" state for humans. But normal doesn't equate with unconditional. They are two different things. For example, humans are normally sane, but only remain so if under the right conditions.

Unconditianal means whithout any conditions and limits. Mother loves her child whithout any reason, but because it`s her nature (that`s why is good to be a mum), and whithout any limits (she probably would give her life for her baby). Child accepts that love whithou any conditions and limits, he or she doesn`t even know anything else. So, love is really normal (love normally happens to everyone) and love is really unconditional.

 

[B_Hickboy]

It`s the other way around really. First you fall in love with some and than you find reasons. I fell in love with my gf first and found reasons later. I admire her for everything good, beautyfull, intelligent etc. about her. Unconditional love also means that I accept her as complete being including her flaws. Your mother had loved you before you were born. U. love is normal state for every sound human being, at least in few relationships.

You are confusing unconditional with indiscriminate.