Urinal Rules

[D_N Flay Table]

good ones guys...

the other unspoken rule is..

never never NEVER mention it if someone farts at the urinal.

 

[Adrian69702006]

It never occured to me either that there might be rules governing urinal use. Personally I'm not a big fan of public toilets but sometimes, much against my wishes, I'm obliged to use them. However, I like to have space either side of me if possible when using a urinal. I find it difficult to pee in crowded, busy, facilities. Does anyone else find that? Also, do any well hung guys here try to avoid going to the toilet whilst out in public (unless they're desperate) because they don't like unzipping in the presence of strangers? I'd be interested to know.

:smile:

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Somewhat off the subject: You know you're not supposed to shit in public, right?

 

[Adrian69702006]

DeeBlackthorne wrote:

Somewhat off the subject: You know you're not supposed to shit in public, right?

I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the box but I'm not sure what you mean.

:smile:

 

[crowdpleaser]

Al true so far. I don't know about that shitting in public thing though, are we supposed to shit our pants?

At my neighborhood bar we have a restroom with 3 urinals only, everyone uses the 2 side urinals, not the center. If the side urinals are full, you have to go down stairs were there are 2 urinals (with the metal divide) and 2 shitters with stalls.

Also in the upstairs restroom with 3 urinals there are no stalls and 2 sinks, after 7pm it seems no one washes their hands in the sinks, ever.

Which leads me to a joke:

There are 3 guys taking a piss: a Notre Dame Fan, an Ohio State fan, and a Univ of Michigan fan.

The Notre Dame huy leaves the urinal, puts a bunch of soap on his hands and starts scrubbing for about a minute, then he rinses for a minute, then he grabs a ton of paper towel and thoroughly dries them. He grabs the door hand and says "at Notre Dame they taught us to be thorough" and exits.

The Ohio State fan then finishes and washes his hands with a little drop of soap, a little bit of water and then dries them with one square of towel. He walks away, grabs the door handle and says "at Ohio State they taught us to be conservative" and exits.

The University of Michigan fan then finishes, walks away and grabs the door handle and says, "at UofM they taught us not to piss on our hands"

 

[DiegoID]

The only other "Rule" I can think if is to not drop your pants around your ankles while you pee. I remember learning that rule in a rather embarrasing moment in elementary school.

 

[Matthew]

The University of Michigan fan then finishes, walks away and grabs the door handle and says, "at UofM they taught us not to piss on our hands"

Hilarious - I bet you have to be careful telling that one in Ohio, though. :biggrin1:

 

[B_rag0007]

.......why does it always seem wet under the urinals...is it piss or a leaky
urinal....or those slobs who don't take the time to shake it over the urinal
and end up on the floor........any comments!!!!!!!

 

[Shelby]

Maddox's hilarious book 'The Alphabet of Manliness' lays down the last words on this topic in chapter U is for Urinal Etiqette.

It's a sickass book. I laughed so hard at some parts I could hardly breathe.
​

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

You seem to have all missed rule 1

take your dick out before you start pissing

 

[scanjock8]

In grade school guys who pissed in the stall were considered pussies, and ran the risk of being pelted with clumps of wet toilet paper.

Perhaps not the case among European men, but urinal rules seem universally observed by Americans. If I'm in the first position and another guy approaches, without fail I know which urinal he will choose. If he doesn't it's actually unsettling.

I don't consider myself pee-shy, but football stadium trough urinals can be challenging. At half-time, after a few beers, the troughs are packed shoulder to shoulder. And I swear I always end up wedged in next to an old man with one of those enourmous gravity-stretched dicks, hanging in full view like an elephant trunk and impossible to ignore. If I need a kick-start I visualize waterfalls--works every time.

And what about the deodorant pucks? It's hard to resist soaking them--releasing that mothball odor.

 

[maroon1040]

I hate the use the toilet rule. I also despise guys who go to the toilets when there are plenty of free urinals available. I detest going to take a dump and finding a) the stalls are all full of pissers, b) some jerk has pissed all over the toilet seat, or c) the only stall left is the one that was purchased cheap when some preschool closed. There are dividers for a reason. Whip that little sumabitch out and use the urinal; leave the stalls for those in need.

Exactly! This especially rings true at sport venues, bars, clubs, casinos and wherever alcohol is served. With that said, I use toilet at home for #2 or wherever possible before going out thanks to those who piss on the toilet seats for whatever their reasons. As for the "rules" I dont follow usually and they are out the door in these settings anyway. Were all human and have to piss so it would be best to do maturely so with consideration for others - hence the frustration with dirty toilets left for the next guys.

 

[deleted817718]

Urinal rules for me.
1. Walk past the urinals.
2. Go to the stalls.
3. Undo belt and jeans and sit down.
4. Pee sitting down

 

[HorseHung40's]

I go. I pee. I leave.

 

[rbkwp]

I go. I pee. I leave.

love that
in addition
it could be looked on as every persons duty str or gay,to oblige

ps
oglers view,unhindered

 

[rbkwp]

thank's for the vital's,amen


coming ma'


hot biscuit/cookie usa


damn/dang hot
nzt arvo

 

[rbkwp]

take my cock to the toilet,please

oh,no matter

waiting till 6am nzt
combine a shower with it ha
5-50am,soooo
tmi but wtf,again..who cares really ha