What Does It Mean?

hungTerrance9

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psidom

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maybe have her try to write the explanation in a letter,
if she cannot "tell" you.

i would not consider it a loss...she is handling it like a kid from the sound of it.

move on, or show her you are serious.
maybe your idea of serious was a tad sappy because it is tricky
to quiet yourself enough to be real, would you die for her?
romance is a need for some women, and that kind of serious
is literally haunting,and spiritual.

she may have wanted you to "go there" and instead you may
have been more serious but not the heartside of it...but the "wife" side?
 

ManlyBanisters

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I have used that excuse to break up when I totally couldn't stand the person anymore.

This.

It means she's tired of you.

And this.

That was my first thought on reading the thread, though before I read it a situation like BBW36 describes occurred to me as a possibility too.

It's really hard to say - different people will mean different things by it. I think the people jumping all over her saying what an immature little bitch she must be are filling out the story in their own heads here. You really haven't said enough about the interaction for me to formulate a strong idea whether it is you or her or a two-way fuck up going on here.

The only way you will know what she means by it is if you ask and she answers honestly. From what I've read so far I don't know if that's going to be possible. Even if you feel she is holding something back, though, you have no choice but to take her at her word. If it turns out she wants to get back together further down the line you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

If you feel she is worth waiting for or worth a second try then do it, do it with your eyes open to the fact that you may be lining yourself up for disappointment, but do it. We win nothing if we take no chances.

If you feel that all this is far too much messing about for you then draw a line under it and move on.

Those are your options - you may never know what she meant so you can't get hung up on it. Follow your feelings, be honest with yourself and try to be honest with her - that's all really anyone can do in any relationship.
 
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BabyD_CckLvr

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Elastagirl is right. She is trying to let you down without creating too much drama or seriously hurting your feelings. I would tell you to move on. Don't pretend that it didn't happen, but show her that you aren't stopping your life either. If things come back around between the two of you, I say a BIG if there, you will need to sit down and have a thorough discussion about what happened and what she expects going forward. If she is incapable of that, then she is obviously too immature to handle a real relationship. I wish you the best of luck with this!
 

Incocknito

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Even if she did want to get back with you at some point, this is not a great start/end to the relationship.

Unless you think the best you can do is a girl who wants to go on a break, fuck other guys, etc and then maybe (but probably not) get back with you.

Really, there are better girls out there. You are probably both young. Don't sweat it. Just work on making yourself an attractive, fun, interesting, etc person.
 

wellhung9

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For those following a long. She wanted to meet me last night because she knew she did a poor job at explaining. She says she really cant figure out what she wants. Apparently she wants to get some space and considers this more of a break. She assures me that she doesn't want to hook up with anyone else as any other guy would be a let down (nice of her to say but I mean there are a lot of guys out there), but she just wants to see what being single feels like and help her decide. She says I should do the same and wants to remain talking while this is going on. She was breaking down a lot too, and I feel like she doesn't want to break up but kind of wants to figure out what she really wants in her future.

Now I don't know what to do. I was planning on trying to get over her and start going out, but now I feel like I should wait and remain faithful. I do love her and want this to work. But I don't want to just wait around forever and never get a response if she cant decide. I don't know how many months I can take of this uncertainty. Basically both options i can choose don't seem appealing to me, and thank you for your responses.
 

helgaleena

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Ooh now she's just stringing you along in case things don't work out in the big bad world. Remaining faithful is not at all necessary, especially since she said she doesn't expect you to.

You decide for yourself if you can have casual sex without it causing personal discomfort. Don't do anything 'for' her. You might find yourself holding it against her later on. She is what she is, and likes to cry about it too. You are what you are, and need not apologize for that to anyone, including her.
 

wellhung9

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No she doesn't want me to sleep with anyone. Im trying to figure out how long she is gonna need to decide. A couple weeks i could deal with, but several months I can't. Should I just give her a few weeks to decide? obviously i won't tell her Im putting a timeline on her break where she needs to think. I just think a few weeks is all I can handle, and if she takes longer Im just gonna assume she wont be getting back with me.

Honestly having sex with someone else doesn't sound good right now. It usually does after a break up, but not this time. But if I do start to sense she was just letting me down easy, or even worse stringing me a long I wont feel bad about getting on with my life.
 

BabyD_CckLvr

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You said she wants to "feel single again". What parameters is she putting on herself for this? When I hear that, it sounds to me like going out and meeting men. But then again, I could be mistaken. I think if you really want to give her a few weeks to figure herself out, go for it. But don't hold out longer than that. It does sound like she is trying to string you along in case dating around isn't as fun as she thought it was.
 

hungTerrance9

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If she still was in love with you there would be no way in hell she would take the chance of losing you by "taking a break".

Think about it. You're still in love with her. Would you take the same risk?

Move on quickly. She may be back but she wont be if you're at her beck and call. You need to instill that risk back in her of forever losing you. The only way you can do that is by growing a set of balls and saying goodbye. Cut off all contact now!
 
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helgaleena

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No she doesn't want me to sleep with anyone. Im trying to figure out how long she is gonna need to decide. A couple weeks i could deal with, but several months I can't. Should I just give her a few weeks to decide? obviously i won't tell her Im putting a timeline on her break where she needs to think. I just think a few weeks is all I can handle, and if she takes longer Im just gonna assume she wont be getting back with me.

Honestly having sex with someone else doesn't sound good right now. It usually does after a break up, but not this time. But if I do start to sense she was just letting me down easy, or even worse stringing me a long I wont feel bad about getting on with my life.

That doesn't compute. She can't ask for a break AND specify you don't sleep with others. I would not go along with this. Tell her you will give her the break but you need to have sex now and then for your own health. Then it's up to you if the only one you have sex with is Rosy Palm. Not her.

She's got to choose to either let you loose and 'be single' or talk over this issue of personal time WITH you, and not just run.
 

wellhung9

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yeah she just seems really indecisive right now. I believe her but I guess I shouldn't. She really is telling me that she has no interest in other men and just needs to figure out if she wants to get really serious with our relationship. Im being very indecisive right now, but it hurts that she's even considering this. And it hurts even more that all this could just be a lie so she can go out hook up with other guys while I sit at home and twittle my thumbs.
 

wellhung9

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what if the situation was reversed? Do you think it would be fair of you to ask her to stay home and twittle her thumbs while you decide what the hell you want?

No that wouldn't be fair. I mean she wasn't demanding me to be faithful just saying this is not about meeting other people and expressed her desire for me to also just give her some time to think about our relationship before I start meeting new girls. Obviously by her starting this break I would not be at fault if I started meeting new girls. And there are some things she must not like about me or she wouldn't be doing this in the first place.

I'm sure making her jealous could work, but I don't know if I have that in me anymore or it could backfire and it might turn her off thinking I've been with someone else.

I know many of you would take the oppurtunity to meet new women. Maybe that is the answer.
 

mf1000mf1000

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She either does not want you anymore and has someone else in her sights or she doesnt want to do anything to hurt you so she is giving you walking papers now. Either way you will never know. Only she will. Start working out, stacking money, having fun, and play more xbox and buy some new clothes. Its on you now. Life is a series of entrances and exits. Get your personal value up. There is a huge gap of celibacy ahead. Focus on positive.
 

Guy-jin

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Based on what's been said, it does sound like there isn't much a future here either way. Seems impossibly difficult now, but breaking up is probably better for both of you.

Put it like this: Have you ever heard of a truly happy, successful couple that needs to take "alone time" where they "break up" to figure out if they want to be together? Honestly, it's not that hard to figure out if you're with the right person for you.