What percentage of marriages do you think are really happy?

[B_quietguy]

How many marriages out of 100 do you think are really happy? Not just content, but actually very happy?

 

[hud01]

I'm not going to respond to a poll that stops at 25%. Somebody has an agenda

 

[ZOS23xy]

Not enough lines to all the percentiles to be used. My marriage is happy. One right there...

 

[silvertriumph2]

The poll does not extend further than..."more than 25%" which leaves a lot of people out...
even though it says "lots of marriages are very happy"...

I can only speak for myself, but I would rate my earlier marriage as 98-99% happy. I thank her for giving me a heaven on earth. I would say 100%, but no marriage is entirely free of some problems or strife. It would be very dull, I think, if there were nothing to make the good parts seem exceptional. :biggrin:

At present, I have been in a same-sex relationship for almost 1-1/2 years...and though
we do have our ocasional disagreements, I am happy beyond belief! Even though we are not married, when it becomes legal it is definately in the future.

 

[goodwood]

i suppose it depends on what point the marriage is in. the first couple of years are fantastic. several years in it might be boring and predictable - okay, happy enough,
but not unhappy. but when there is a disconnection with the spouse/spousal equivilent communication its rather unhappy. in this unhappy period the actions each person takes can lead to further unhappiness.
it has been my experience that nearly all married people are happy at some point. and desperately unhappy at others and that there is never (that i have known of) a consistent happy state in marriage only because no people who are in a marriage are consistently happy within themselves.

 

[earllogjam]

"Happy" is a relative term.

 

[Drifterwood]

Around 56% of people who got married since 2000 in the States are now divorced. In the UK, I think it is a little worse with 50% of marriages ending within five years. The average length of marriage in the UK is under 12 years.

Then you add those who can not divorce for a vaiety of social reasons and those who stay to gether for their kids etc etc and I think you have to conclude that the majority of marriages are not happy for one partner or both.

You may be happy for a while, but in the majority of cases, they do not contiue to be happy.

I was quite shocked to learn in the last year, just how unhappy many of my friends were in their respective marriages. I have always been sceptical about marriage myself, but the damage that it causes so many people makes me conclude that it is an institution that has had its day for the majority.

If you are blissfully happy, then I am happy for you. Count your lucky stars.

 

[deleted356736]

I voted about 20% as being happy, based on people I know as well as the divorce statistics quoted above (about half of marriages end in divorce, and there are many more couples who could divorce but stay together for various reasons). It's possible my guess of 20% is optimistic.

 

[B_quietguy]

i suppose it depends on what point the marriage is in. the first couple of years are fantastic. several years in it might be boring and predictable - okay, happy enough...

The first couple of years might be fantastic - but that might be just hormones and not real long lasting happiness. We all know new relationship energy wears off after awhile. There is a big difference between genuine happiness and just delighted about getting laid every day.

 

[conntom]

The OP assumes the number wil be very low by the breakdown in choices.

I voted for more than 25%

 

[B_quietguy]

I'm not going to respond to a poll that stops at 25%. Somebody has an agenda

If more than half of marriages end in divorce, and a lot people in long term marriages complain about how their marriage sucks, then do you really think more than 25% of marriages are genuinely happy?

 

[D_Chesty_Pecjiggle]

If more than half of marriages end in divorce, and a lot people in long term marriages complain about how their marriage sucks, then do you really think more than 25% of marriages are genuinely happy?

Yes. Because the high divorce rate actually INCREASES the proportion of marriages that are happy.

50 years ago when divorce rates were lower, the proportion of happy marriages was lower.

Now presumably these couples that will get divorced are happy for X years, then unhappy for a few and get divorced.

 

[flame boy]

I'm super duper happy, I know many other "marrieds" who share the same sentiment.

 

[skippy_1314]

Might be true that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, but not 50% of people who marry get divorced. Meaning that a big piece of the divorces are coming from people who get divorced multiple times.

I carry that forward to what I believe that much more than 25% of marriages are truly happy.

 

[Enid]

I'm going to vote "hell if I know". Maybe...10%?

 

[catman]

I also think the economy is putting stresses 'above and beyond' right now...figure 1-2 people with no job, a sinking mortgage, and people are literally 'trapped'.... even a saint would have a hard time keeping a marriage going...and quite a few folks literally cannot afford to get out of a 'dead' marriage (finances, homes, jobs, etc...)

for those that are blossoming- I think its incredible!!!

 

[nudeyorker]

First of all let me apologize that I have not read the entire thread; I saw this earlier today and have given it some thought. I think that if someone goes into marriage thinking that it will make them happy the chances of them having a happy marriage is fairly slim.
When someone is ready to become a partner and deal with all the difficulties related to marriage whether it's financial, health, sex, religion and politics and the rest of the things the cosmos sling at us on a daily basis... then I think two people have a chance of having a happy life.
When someone settles or marries to help solve a life or emotional issue then in my opinion it's destined for failure.
PS I'm in a very happy long term relationship and it's taken me years to become mature enough to deal with what it takes to be happy.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Hmm not sure.I've been married 4 times and widowed age 18 (blissfully happy) and divorced the last 3.5th time lucky lets hope!!

Most marriages of people i know have ended in divorce.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

This question is just far too complicated. Every now and again, you could ask anyone if they are happily married and they could say no. Some people are happily married while their spouse is unhappy but they are too selfish to notice or care. So you could ask one person in the marriage if they are happy and they might answer based on what is going on right now, not how good the other days have been.

I think very few marriages could be classified as having more good days than bad days. It seems that once it starts to go downhill it is very hard to get it going in the right direction.

I find it most sad when people are married for like 17 years and then divorce when their kids are in the most important stages of their development.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

I left my 4th husband when my youngest was 11,the next 2 up were 13,the next 2 up were 14 and my eldest was 15.I'd have topped myself if i hadnt left him when i did,another day with him would have been torture.For all our sakes it was the best thing to do.My children were far better off with me being happy and not at work 24/7 just to be out of the house so i didnt have to see my husband.